Tag: kansas city

The real mystery is who's arming them.

Toddlers Murdering Selves At Alarming Rate, No End To Rampage In Sight

With six gun attacks by toddlers on Americans in the last week, the number of deaths and injuries (five deaths, one injury) caused by armed children now exceeds the number of Americans (four) killed in the terrorist attacks in...

What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

Major League Baseball released its list of stadium foods last Thursday, and we have only one question: who the hell let Guy Fieri design every ballpark food in America? In their quest to push the boundaries of stadium food science,...
A typical Missouri intern, we guess.

Missouri Republicans Demand Interns Stop Being Too Sexy To Resist

There is a thing that happens in every political workplace in US America, and probably also Guam, where everybody's just doing their business, but then this one family values Republican, probably named Missouri House Speaker John Diehl, gets a shame boner...
When in doubt, use this picture

Michele Bachmann Said One Stupid Thing, Didn’t Say Other Stupid Thing

Here's your Michele Bachmann CrazyTrain update: Yes, she really did say that Teh Gheys want to abolish age-of-consent laws so they can rape children without consequences, but no, she did not say that the USA needs to open "Americanization...

Nice Time Update: Nifty Kid May Soon Return ‘Little Free Library’ To Front Yard

As we predicted, it looks like there's going to be a quick, albeit temporary resolution to the social-media-friendly story of Spencer Collins, the Kansas 9-year-old who was told he had to remove his "Little Free Library" because it violated...

Republicans Close To Deciding Which Character-Free Hellhole Of A City They Will Invade In 2016

The Republican National Committee is busy narrowing down the list of potential host cities for its 2016 convention. Last week the list dropped by two, with Cincinnati and Las Vegas dropping their bids; Cincinnati because, well, Cincinnati, and Vegas...

Argue Amongst Yourselves: Announcing A Rough Draft Of The Wonket Drinky Thing Midwest/Southwest June World Tour!

O hai, we are just making this itinerary. We are getting in the car and actually taking a vacation, one that includes paying someone to be us on this here mommyblog while we are gone, so our only responsibilities...

Wives! Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can Kill ‘Em, According to Charismatic ‘Ex’-Gay Christian-Orgy Cult Leader

Tyler Deaton is a handsome young man. He met his wife, Bethany, in prayer group at college. He was so charismatic that by his senior year, he'd convinced a bunch of hot dudes to leave the school-sanctioned Christian fellowship...

NAACP Going To Call Teabaggers Racist But Teabagger Leaders Don’t Understand Because They Are Basically the New Civil Rights Movement

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People has a convention coming up in Kansas City, and a resolution will be introduced to call Teabaggers racist, because why not? Seems pretty valid, as many Teabaggers do seem to...