• “A tortured history of Obamacare?” No no no. Barack Obama is a total yellow belly: He always reads histories their Miranda rights. [RedState]
• Car theft. Rape. Same thing. Get over it. It’s Kansas. [Think Progress]
• Do you have naughty dreams at night about organizing Jonah Goldberg’s collection of Star Trek dolls (from tallest to shortest, not alphabetically)? Or perhaps being K-Lo’s little spoon? Intern with the National Review! Comes with a modest stipend. Previous “gimp experience” would be lovely. [The Corner]
• Uh-oh, someone found the socialist literature Michelle Obama hid under her mattress! [Matt Yglesias]
• Please support this very important initiative that would give MLK Day the pizazz it so desperately needs. [AMERICAblog]

Aww, Kansas Rep. Todd Tiahrt opened all of the presents Barack Obama gave the American people this year and cannot find “jobs” in any of them. (Since two of them have not even been signed into law yet, Tiahrt should not have expected “jobs” in those boxes.) But it’s not like this Tiahrt guy has done much for the employment situation this year either! Like when that top campaign aide of his turned out to have been arrested and indicted for rape in 2008, what did Tiahrt do? Fired him. (Only when the media found out!) How is firing your staff’s best rapist good for “jobs,” Todd Tiahrt? [YouTube]

Here’s some schmuck from Kansas, Republican Rep. Todd Tiahrt to be exact, telling a bunch of Olds at a small town hall about one of the terrible things he pretends is in the House health care bill: federal salary caps for doctors! “[T]hey’re gonna set up a committee to determine what every doctor in America will make,” he says. “They will set that fee, every doctor will make the same.” And then comes the barter system, you see! All doctors should commence breeding the choicest of hogs, post haste! (Anyway, the crowd just laughs at him.) [Washington Monthly]

Tonight through May 10: A festival about political films, here, in the nation’s capital? They just love to keep us on our toes! The inaugural “Politics on Film” festival is this weekend and a dozen different films, including four international movies, will be screened at E Street Cinema, the Navy Memorial Auditorium, and at George Washington University. Best bets include, Abraham Obama, Leif Letzebuerger (aka Charlotte: A Royal at War) and What’s the Matter with Kansas?, a film about how Kansas has single-handedly ruined America. MORE »

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius made Barack Obama’s short list for vice presidential candidates when it was thought he needed some ladies up in there, ladies besides the future Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. And boom just like that, “Kathleen Sebelius” was a household name! And then she spoke at the Democratic National Convention and everyone said, What a pleasant person, thank goodness she is not running for Veep as she is rather a dull public speaker. Then Obama nominated her to be the new Tom Daschle after the old Tom Daschle was revealed to be a tax cheat, and guess what? MORE »

Hey, you bunch of socialist acorns, did you know you have to register to vote, in many states, before you can show up and vote on November 4, for the terrorists? This is what Barack Obama just told your editor and everybody else who signed up for that Veep Announcement text alert nine years ago. In California and Washington (state) and Utah and various other states including Kansas and South Dakota, today’s your last day to register, hippie! MORE »

Let’s take a breather from presidential politics for a moment and reflect on this glorious advertisement from the Jim Slattery campaign, which shows Kansas Senator Pat Roberts growing into a fifty-foot monster who urinates on people. This is amazing. ["Hosed"]

OMG Obama’s first general election ad. In case the reality of this election hasn’t fully sunk in for you yet, this ad should do it: every second of the next 4.5 months will be Barack Obama trying to convince old white Democratic-leaning voters in western Pennsylvania that he doesn’t want to blow up their houses in the name of Allah and/or O.J. Simpson. This election will literally be about that and nothing else. [YouTube]

According to deep background sources (our commenter “Serolf Divad”), the printing-press laborer who wrote that terrific op-ed about Obama being a Muslim Fundamentalist who will piss on the graves of Ground Zero might really be NYT star Bill Kristol. Think about it.

At the Ottawa Herald of Franklin County, Kansas, even the guys who work the newspaper printing press can write a column for the “op ed” section. And proving once again that small-town papers are like blogs without the quality control, pressman Gary Sillett contributed a terrific “community viewpoint” about the upcoming presidential election.

“To elect Barack Obama to the highest office in the land would be nothing less than spitting on the graves of the victims of 9/11,” Sillett wrote last week. You know you want to read the rest. MORE »

So many new states are about to pick their own special presidents! Let’s see who will be projected to punch Wolf Blitzer in his “beard.” It’s Arizona, Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico, New York, North Dakota, Minnesota … so many states, so much election projection business! MORE »

Remember what’s her name, from last night? The one who spoke after that guy you like so much, George W. Bush? This is what our commenter “Thomas” said during her “Democratic Response” to the SOTU: MORE »

George W. Bush is still president? I thought we had six presidents, mostly in Florida now, who will slowly whittle down to one: the most Changing candidate. Is Bush still doing things, laws and lies and such, and we don’t know because we’ve been watching the 2008 crowd? Did he mention a War on Syria in that speech, a surprise war, that’s somehow three, four weeks old, and we have no shred of a clue? I didn’t watch the State of the Union, but I bet it was… that.

Here’s the governor of Kansas, Kathleen Sebelius, giving the Democrat response. MORE »