kansas
High school senior Emma Sullivan made an honest joke about Kansas governor/wingnut Sam Brownback, on Twitter, and wound up in the principal’s office, where she was ordered to write an apology. This followed the governor’s office calling the schoolgirl’s principal to demand “respect” after seeing the tweet. Today was the deadline to turn in her [...]
Not even Republican primary voters wanted Sam Brownback as a presidential candidate, so the right-wing nobody went back to Kansas, both metaphorically and literally. He’s governor of Kansas, apparently. And he’s still a thin-skinned jerk. We learned these facts from the cautionary tale of Emma Sullivan, an 18-year-old high school senior and member of the [...]
Oh, lord. The city of Topeka, Kansas went ahead with its harebrained scheme to legalize domestic violence in order to save money they claim they no longer have to spend prosecuting abuse cases. Hey, priorities! Isn’t this maybe the sort of thing where it might be worth it for the city to just levy an [...]
In the evolution-free state of Kansas, lawmakers have decided that when it comes to concealed-carry gun permits, “no tests whatsoever required, probably let’s just mail permits to our constituents with the Christmas card” is a better policy than asking people to prove they can hit a few targets at close range. People can figure out [...]
JOAN LIVES! Our favorite Kansas gubernatorial candidate, Joan Heffington, has e-mailed supporters a message saying she’s decided to continue her campaign as a write-in candidate, even though she will probably be in prison on election day. Prison?! Yes, Joan is in trouble with the Kansas government for practicing law without a license. How have her [...]
The Detroit Tigers have miraculously beaten the White Sox and primary results continue to come in slowly from Michigan, Missouri, and Kansas, your Middle America triangle of excitement. We have yet to rule out Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox as the “Governor of Cox” and future source of plentiful dick jokes, but it doesn’t look [...]
Tonight Michigan, Missouri, and Kansas decide their futures. Choose one candidate, and everybody gets laid tonight by a hot person. Choose another, and we all drown in a giant America-sized vat of Liquid-Plumr. Which choice will they make? The Michigan state bird is the robin! The Missouri state bird is the bluebird! The Kansas state [...]
Democracy Is Going To Die Tonight, But Your Wonkette Will Be There At the Deathbed To Hold Your Hand
Primary elections for both Democrats and Republicans tonight are said to be “crowded,” just like a hott nightclub, with lots of candidates to make us all sweaty. And luckily, your Wonkette will liveblog the whole affair so you can get all the Congressman Pete Hoekstra you can handle! Not to mention all the hott (Michigan [...]
As your Wonkette previously reported, Joan Heffington — Sam Brownback’s GOP primary challenger in the Kansas gubernatorial race — lists GOD as a board member of her advocacy organization, the Association for Honest Attorneys. Among other things, the association wants a constitutional “justice amendment” to make more justice in America. It issues a quarterly newsletter! [...]
The year A.D. 2010 will surely go down in the history book-blogs as the Year of the Exotic Candidate, when a survey of the American voting landscape became something akin to taking a glorious safari tour through a parallel universe or maybe a different galaxy. Our latest unusual specimen is Kansas gubernatorial candidate Joan Heffington, [...]
America’s most mysterious animal-disease mad-scientist Military Laboratory, the secret fear factory known as Plum Island, is shutting down and moving to Kansas. Why would a highly secure (?) facility that studies livestock diseases on a remote isle move to the absolute center of the American livestock industry, where one loose spore of Manufactured Anthrax-AIDS-Cancer-Foot & [...]
“A tortured history of Obamacare?” No no no. Barack Obama is a total yellow belly: He always reads histories their Miranda rights. [RedState] Car theft. Rape. Same thing. Get over it. It’s Kansas. [Think Progress] Do you have naughty dreams at night about organizing Jonah Goldberg’s collection of Star Trek dolls (from tallest to shortest, [...]
Aww, Kansas Rep. Todd Tiahrt opened all of the presents Barack Obama gave the American people this year and cannot find “jobs” in any of them. (Since two of them have not even been signed into law yet, Tiahrt should not have expected “jobs” in those boxes.) But it’s not like this Tiahrt guy has [...]
Here’s some schmuck from Kansas, Republican Rep. Todd Tiahrt to be exact, telling a bunch of Olds at a small town hall about one of the terrible things he pretends is in the House health care bill: federal salary caps for doctors! “[T]hey’re gonna set up a committee to determine what every doctor in America [...]
