Fuuuuuuuuuuck! Welcome to your new job, Madame Secretary!
GOP money fuckery, Trump lights a tree, and Walmart apologizes for trying to kill journalists. Your morning news brief.
Julian Assange offered to help Trump in exchange for the Australian ambassadorship. Is that bad? And Trump took clean coal to Newcastle. But not Puerto Rico! They're handled by Whitefish. Your morning news brief!
Topeka Jerk Babies Fear Habitat For Humanity Homes Will Be Full Of Criminals, Which All Poor People Are
Welcome to the neighborhood! Here's your racist graffiti!
Senate Republicans don't want to touch ACA, Newt Gingrich plots his return, and Equifax gets hacked. Your morning news brief.
Get it? Cause Dodge is, like, IN KANSAS.
These GOP senators are defending the honor of their unbelievably racist best pal!
Elijah Cummings is Mad About A Thing. Also this is your OPEN THREAD.
Maybe that guy with the hockey mask will give us a ride.
TrumpCare fails again, the House moves on to money, and Trump screams at Chris Christie. Your morning news brief.
Just because the head of the voter fraud commission had big plans for making voting harder doesn't mean he's biased.
Republicans would rather go to Afghanistan than a town hall. Makes sense to us!
Pompeo didn't seem to mind giving Michael Flynn top-secret intelligence even though he was a threat to the republic. And that's not the only weird thing about Pompeo!
Turn that frown sort of sideways, let's see how that looks huh?
Thank goodness someone's getting to this vital nonexistent problem.
MANY NEWSES this morning, including Spicer apologizes for being A Idiot, Jeff Sessions is keeping it REAL (racist), did Bill O'Reilly get You're Fired? Your morning news brief!