k-lo
Universe Implodes Under Combined Weight of Maggie Gallagher, Kathryn Jean Lopez’s Giant Brains
We had such high hopes for the greatest tete a tete of this or any era, When Maggie Met K-Lo. But it turns out, when you get two overly repressed spinsters together to kaffeeklatsch on Gays and Stuff, it is actually really fucking boring. Maggie and K-Lo are all like, boo Karl Rove, boo truces, [...]
K-Lo Posts Her Dream Recipe: Carcass Stuffed With 10 Hamburgers
Important National Review Online pundit Kathryn Jean Lopez only really gets excited twice a year: When she makes up another excuse to get people to send her a bunch of porn, and when Thanksgiving comes around so she can post a Real American recipe involving ten smashed-up anus burgers stuck up the body cavity of [...]
‘Religious Freedom!’ Cries Crazy Texas Bigot What Don’t Want No ‘Negroidal Person’ Bagging His Vittles
Hey, crazy Texas bigots! Got any freedom of religion lawsuits you’d like to file today? Oh, it’s against your religion to have a black man bag your groceries? Sure, that will do! Little Green Footballs brings us the heartwarming News Journal tale of this Texas man a-whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ about how he don’t want no [...]
NRO’s Kathryn Jean Lopez Just Doesn’t See What All The Fuss Is About S-E-X
Kathryn Jean Lopez, better known by her gang moniker, K-Lo, is a pill. She is unpleasant and obsequiously pious and constantly telling all other American Catholics how they’re doing Catholicism wrong by actually following the edicts of Vatican II (which said Catholics should follow the dictates of their own consciences). She moans a lot about [...]
NRO Hires Racisty Racist It Can Dig Up, For Racism
It seems like just two months ago that the august and erudite National Review Online was having to face its terrible shame and can all its writers for being bald horrible racists. And yet their newest fellow likes to write things about how the Founding Fathers didn’t let black people vote for a reason. And [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Would Like You To Know She Has An S&M Relationship With The Lord
Hey National Review person K-Lo, what’s up! Have you had some time yet to regret your even dopier than usual column? Would you like to? Great, let’s get started! “I Have A Dopey Question For Time Magazine,” K-Lo begins, and yes, stopped clock/blind pig, etc. See Time Magazine had its annual let’s-blow-everybody issue, and sexxxy [...]
K-Lo’s Wingnut Blog, ‘National Review Online,’ Tells Newt Gingrich To Quit
Wingnut Catholic slash-fiction blog National Review Online insisted, at 4 a.m. today (!), that fake Catholic convert Newt Gingrich quit losing the GOP primary and instead let authentic Catholic wingnut Rick Santorum continue losing against Mormon liberal Mitt Romney. This is apparently news, even though Kathryn Jean Lopez has always loved Rick Santorum nearly as [...]
Kathryn Jean Lopez Asks Someone To Tell Her About Being Married
It’s Valentine’s Day, everybody — otherwise known as “the saddest day at National Review Online.” But NRO editor Kathryn Jean Lopez isn’t one to hide behind her sadness and resignation and Jonah Goldberg screensaver (when he was young and kind of cute). Instead, K-Lo asked a “marriage expert” to explain why she cannot seem to [...]
K-Lo Had a One-Night Stand With Her TeeVee Box Again
You know, like every night you drink a vat of communion wine alone on your couch. But there’s a speech happening. [Twitter]
For Only 50¢ a Day, You Too Can Save a Kathryn Jean-Lopez’s Life
In rotation with Santa Claus, apparently this too is now a pop-up ad on the National Review‘s website. Please, as you enjoy your bounty and familial love this holiday season, please think of the less fortunate. Please, think of the young K-Lo in the streets of Mumbai, trying to blog from underneath the rubble of [...]
K-Lo Getting Hairy Palms Because of All the Nasty Sexytime On the ‘Puter
Ever since National Review Online’s old maid Kathryn Jean Lopez heard about sex a few weeks ago, she has been frantically typing with one hand about all the dirty, dirty, dirty pornography on the Internet which is so filthy, so hawt, so nasty. (Actually, K-Lo “discovers” the p0rN every year about this time. It’s like [...]
Porn-Crazed Kathryn Jean Lopez Begs For ‘Steady Stream of E-mails Coming Into My Inbox’
Lonely National Review Online blogger Kathryn Jean Lopez regularly rhapsodizes over three untouchable Man-Gods (the Pope, Ronald Reagan and Jonah Goldberg) and sternly disapproves of almost everything else in our Earthly Realm, especially Pornography. Now, however, K-Lo is literally begging readers of her hilarious group-blog “The Corner” to send their porn confessions — all because [...]
ACORN Will Return With the Aztecs and Mitt Romney In 2012
Oh you thought ACORN went away forever? You are an April Fool because ACORN is just “reinventing” itself and when its good and ready it’ll resurrect and freak everyone out, just as Jesus once did. [RedState] Andrew Sullivan has a new Internet hobby: Looking at pictures of dudes with beards eating cupcakes. [The Daily Dish] [...]
K-Lo Finally Gets ‘Black Man Puts Feet On Desk’ FWD
Months later, the wingnuts finally got around to forwarding their “getcher feet offa mah Merkin desk, Obama bin Lyin’, its from Queen Vic dagnabbit” email to National Review abortion dragon Kathryn Jean Lopez. Since K-Lo Does Not Read Wonkette, someone should forward her that Bush picture, and then maybe she’d shut up and return to [...]
‘Fake’ Hitler Ruins K-Lo’s Pretend America
You guys, come on! The teabaggers just wanted to dress up like George Washington and have a “virtual slave state constitutional convention” and you meanies went and ruined it all, just because the teabaggers are a bunch of delusional idiots who somehow think a wide-open website won’t be, uh, desecrated if they wish real hard [...]
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