But… maybe try sucking harder? [The Corner]
(Thank you to Wonkette Operative “Ruprick.”)

“Weird news,” indeed. Christ! Can’t you people keep your foul third-rate romance/low-rent rendezvous off the freakin’ Internet, which really doesn’t need more pornography, and certainly not the kind you two would create. Ugh. Thanks, Sadly, No!, for the year’s supply of Nightmare Fuel. [The Corner]

• K-Lo (who we’ll remind you is now a Serious Artist and would like to be called by her Christian name, “Jennifer Lopez”) is terribly upset that Obama is speaking at Notre Dame’s commencement because Obama is pro-choice and is therefore incapable of reciting vaguely inspirational pleasantries for 25 minutes. [Firedoglake]
• Ditto Newt Gingrich, a non-Cathlolic, who doesn’t think Obama, also a non-Catholic, is Catholic enough. [Media Matters]
• Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton tried to give the Russians a red button with the word “reset” on it, for friendship (?), except of course obviously the state department was incapable of correctly translating this single word. [Daily Intel]
• Here is Meghan McCain, wearing her old costume from Phoenix Senior High’s freshman-and-sophomores-only production of Chicago, talking about how she can’t add. You know, with numbers. Meghan McCain for Notre Dame commencement speaker! [The XX Factor]
• Some Washington middle schoolers got to hang out with Obama today and watch him hang out with space astronauts and talk about Tang, for such is their wont. [The Caucus]

America’s favorite humorist, National Review Online blogger Kathryn Jean Lopez, would like Little Miss Hot Slut Bristol Palin to know that this whole “sex” and “hookee” (?) thing is irresponsible for us unmarried gals, because it’s super hard to remember to take those birth-control pills every day. And what if the condom breaks? Did you know that condom is likely filled with a boy’s spermlings? “So glamorous,” writes K-Lo. Yeah, she would know! Wait, she wouldn’t know at all, right? MORE »

This graphic comes from National Review Online editor Kathryn Jean Lopez, and we think she’s in loooooooooove! “I’m noticing the tone. I’m seeing the enthusiasm. And I’m digging out from the sheer volume of e-mails I’ve been getting today about that CNBC dude. The reaction to Rick Santelli’s Chicago-trading-floor incident this morning echoes the emotional reaction my inbox had to Sarah Palin’s convention speech this summer.” PRRRRR, KITTY. It was definitely when Santelli called poor people “losers” that K-Lo knew she had a new man in her life. Move over, Mitt Romney! [The Corner]

And With That [NRO Corner]