Do you have parents? Are they voting for Barack? Probably not. This is apparently a huge problem for his campaign: everybody wants to vote for Barry Obama, but nobody’s parents want to vote for him. Old people are hopeless.

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Hey look, here’s our new feature, Inside the Obama Cult, by Wonkette intern and Obama volunteer Justin Charity, pictured here at an actual Obama rally:

Are you willing to die for Barack Obama? For weeks, his campaign has been recruiting legions of disgruntled Bill Richardson interns and mercenary college graduates to beat back General Clinton’s advances into the Eastern colonies. These Obama organizing “fellows” are being deployed to the front-lines of Pennsylvania, North Carolina and, uh, some other random states to assist Obama in his efforts to overthrow the 1990s. MORE »