Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
WE ARE TOO BUSY COVERING THE LATEST SEX SCANDAL IN WASHINGTON TO KNOW ABOUT BLOGS VS. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS: The AP wanted a blog to not quote the AP, which is lame and anti-legal and whatever, so then the Justice League of Bloggers held a secret meeting in the AP’s underground lair, in space, and now our former corporate overlords at Gawker are being accused of being “some kid” for not giving respect knuckles to the invisible blogger alliance of justice, because of the “latest sex scandal in Washington.” [Gawker]
WE ARE TOO BUSY COVERING THE LATEST SEX SCANDAL IN WASHINGTON TO KNOW ABOUT BLOGS VS. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS: The AP wanted a blog to not quote the AP, which is lame and anti-legal and whatever, so then the Justice League of Bloggers held a secret meeting in the AP’s underground lair, in space, and now our former corporate overlords at Gawker are being accused of being “some kid” for not giving respect knuckles to the invisible blogger alliance of justice, because of the “latest sex scandal in Washington.” [Gawker]
Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia would like all you Sad Sallies who are still sore over the 2000 election (which he personally decided, on a bet) to hike up your panties and get over it. “That was like so ten minutes ago,” he tells 60 Minutes‘ Leslie Stahl in an interview to be aired this weekend. Scalia explains that he is great friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and other known liberals whom he has had the graciousness not to murder or even jail in their many years on the Supreme Court. And then he lets loose with a shocking revelation! 
As Attorney General Gonzales faces increasingly shrill cries for his resignation, and now threats of impeachment, perhaps we ought to take a minute to hear from the man himself. A week and a half ago, he addressed Department of Justice employees via “J TV,” DoJ’s internal tv station, to assure them that he will never, ever, ever leave them, and that he’s fuckin’ innocent. A Justice Employee sent us the speech this weekend, and it’s an entertaining little document of self-delusion.
The Department of Justice has adopted a hilarious new interpretation of “Civil Rights” which has critics criticizing with rage. 
And what did we learn from Monica Goodling’s testimony before Congress today? 
Now that Paul Wolfowitz has finally lost the secret game of Resignation Chicken between him and Alberto Gonzales, the Attorney General can pretty much feel free to resign whenever he likes. Al being a stubborn and fairly stupid sort, though, he will probably want to rub his victory in Paul’s face by waiting for an actual real-life “vote of no confidence.” 
We tried to get a screencap of Schumer or Feinstein talking about Gonzales from CNN’s Pipeline thing but by the time we got it loaded up they’d finished. So here is a turtle fighting a cat. 
In testimony before the Senate yesterday, former deputy Attorney General James B. Comey did the unthinkable: he made us sympathetic to John Ashcroft. Wholda thunk? 
A deputy Attorney General announced he’s stepping down today, as Alberto Gonzales continued to sit in his office all day cackling and lighting cigars with letters of resignation.