Tag Archives: justice

  We Have Always Been At War With Erotic Terror

Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms

All the probable Republican presidential candidates have been visiting the Steve Deace radio wingnut program lately, in order to explain to Real Americans that people’s fundamentalist religious beliefs will ALWAYS stomp on everybody else’s rights, no matter what, because that is how America works. Deace specifically wants to know if these fine fellers — Santorum, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, all of them — believe that “the sexual revolution trumps the American Revolution,” or if “someone’s erotic liberty trumps your religious liberty.” EROTIC LIBERTY, everyone, GET SOME. Read more on Rick Santorum Hates Americans For Our Erotic Freedoms…
  not all cops

Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big

That's some fine police work, Lou.
In 2009, celebrated Santa Ana Police Detective Andy Alvarez was tasked to investigate a bloody attempted murder case, in which a man in a Jeep pulled up to three teenagers and opened fire on them. Alvarez had two leads. The first was that the shooter reportedly shouted “Delhi,” the name of a Santa Ana street gang, before opening fire. The second was that two of the victims positively identified another kid in the Jeep as Francisco Vega, a former classmate with whom they’d previously had trouble. The OC Weekly reports: Read more on Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big…
  Kobach/Roberts 2016

Lefty Kansas Judicial Activists Join Corrupt Democratic Plan To Win Senate Race

The left-wing loons on the Kansas Supreme Court ruled on Thursday that Democratic gadabout Chadwick J. Taylor should be allowed to withdraw from the state’s three-way U.S. Senate race. Taylor, suffering from acute Democrat Humility Syndrome, was cruelly bullied by Harry Reid and his henchlady Sen. Claire McCaskill in a “corrupt bargain” to try to actually beat the unpopular Republican incumbent Pat Roberts of Virginia. Er, Kansas. Taylor selflessly stepped aside two weeks ago to allow independent candidate Greg Orman to utterly destroy Roberts (with votes) in a head-to-head matchup in November and send a non-Republican to represent Kansas in the Senate for the first time since the 1930s. Read more on Lefty Kansas Judicial Activists Join Corrupt Democratic Plan To Win Senate Race…
  And The Kids Just Don't Understand

Megyn Kelly Learns Bill O’Reilly A Thing Or Two About White Privilege, Santa Claus

We liked the Dodge Challenger in that show
9:00 PM, Channel 433 (HD): THE MOD SQUAD (1971): A brash younger member of the force (Megyn Kelly) explains the frustrations of the black underclass to a skeptical police Captain (Bill O’Reilly) whose traditionalist views blind him to the situation on the ground. Guest appearances by Huey Newton, Charles Nelson Reilly. Read more on Megyn Kelly Learns Bill O’Reilly A Thing Or Two About White Privilege, Santa Claus…
  reasonable explanations

Doctor Testifies Homeless Man Kelly Thomas Killed By Meth, Not All That Beating By Police

In Fullerton, California, a forensic pathologist testified that a homeless man didn’t die from being beaten and tasered in 2011. Nah, that was just what was going on at the time when his heart happened to fail because he was a meth addict: Dr. Steven Karch, the final witness for two former city police officers charged with killing Kelly Thomas, said the homeless man suffered from methamphetamine cardiomyopathy, a weakening of the heart caused by drug abuse. “He could have died sitting in a closet by himself,” Karch said. Except he wasn’t sitting in a closet (why a closet, for chrissakes?), he was being beaten by cops, which was just one of those whatchacall coincidences. Talk about unfortunate timing for the poor innocent Fullerton cops. Read more on Doctor Testifies Homeless Man Kelly Thomas Killed By Meth, Not All That Beating By Police…
  next: the tubal litigation

California Lady Prisoners Got A Great Deal On Unauthorized Sterilizations, Weren’t Even Pressured Too Much

Most people, when they’re being anesthetized for surgery, don’t get asked if maybe they’d like a little extra snip snip on their baby junk while they’re under. Most people aren’t Kimberly Jeffrey, who “says she was pressured by a doctor while sedated and strapped to a surgical table for a C-section in 2010, during a stint at Valley State,” a California prison. Pressured, that is, to get them tubes trussed! Oh hai miss criminal, as you are losing consciousness I would just like to obtain your consent to… still with us? Tubal ligation, what’s that, who knows, feels warm I see lights NO MORE BABIES FOR YOU! And America wept, like the child some prison doctor thinks Kimberly Jeffrey shouldn’t have, because… takers? We guess takers. Read more on California Lady Prisoners Got A Great Deal On Unauthorized Sterilizations, Weren’t Even Pressured Too Much…
  legitimate rape

Hero Connecticut Supreme Court Justices Defend Rapists From Clutches of Temptresses With Cerebral Palsy

Here, Wonketteers, let us blog at you about a very, very sad story made EVEN SADDER by the geniuses serving on the Connecticut State Supreme Court. See, back in 2008, a man from Bridgeport, Connecticut, was found guilty of sexually assaulting a 26-year old woman with cerebral palsy who can’t speak and has very little body movement. But was it LEGITIMATE RAPE? No. No it was not, and the Supreme Court overturned his conviction because the victim did not “scream,” nor did she “bite” or “kick” her assailant. Nor was she considered legally unconscious, which would have spared her the burden of managing to bite, kick, or scream in spite of her substantial physical disabilities. But there is a bright side, dear readers, because this young lady will surely be relieved to discover that she was not legitimately raped! Read more on Hero Connecticut Supreme Court Justices Defend Rapists From Clutches of Temptresses With Cerebral Palsy…
  the liberal courts ruined the weekend

Judge Restores Early Voting To All Ohioans Because He Hates The Troops

The Obama campaign filed a lawsuit way back when, like last month or something, to claim that it was unconstitutional for Ohio to allow military voters early voting time in the three days before the election without extending the same time to all Ohio voters. Mitt Romney predictably lied about it, because the only things that come out of Mitt Romney’s mouth are nouns, verbs, and lies about the nouns and verbs he just used. A federal district court judge ruled today that everyone in Ohio gets to vote the Saturday, Sunday and Monday before the election. YAY VOTING (BUT NOT FOR THE BLACK GUY, OKAY?) Read more on Judge Restores Early Voting To All Ohioans Because He Hates The Troops…
  and then there's fox

Fox News Not Really Interested In Reporting On Shooting Deaths Of Unarmed Black Teenagers

Fox News can generally be relied upon for a steady stream of artlessly jingoistic vomit, spewing forth from helmet-headed hairspray sacks who move their lips while reading important reports on hurricanes and other outrages against Heartland (= white, irrespective of actual location) America. What Fox usually fails at, though, is reporting on outrages against Urban (= black, etc.) America. (Kenneth Gladney excepted!) The latest such outrage to receive Fox News’ patented bitchy silent treatment is the unprovoked shooting death of Trayvon Martin, a black teenager who found himself in the wrong Florida neighborhood (you know, where his father lived), being hunted like prey — ALLEGEDLY but also PROBABLY — by a local paranoiac vigilante known for being “fixated on crime and focused on young, black males.” Hmm, that description… kind of sounds like every Fox scare-segment ever? Read more on Fox News Not Really Interested In Reporting On Shooting Deaths Of Unarmed Black Teenagers…
  god no likey!

Another Small Town Becomes Victimized By Constitution

Oh, Florida, it is America’s treasured swampland. It is a place ruled by those important “small town values” and giant biblical structures donated by local highway construction hot-shots. Or at least it was, until some Jesus-hatin’ foreigner came in and ruined everything, because that is how these stories go. Thank the Almighty for the USA Today for giving these oppressed people a voice! Read more on Another Small Town Becomes Victimized By Constitution…
  pour one out for our homie tomorrow

Tom DeLay Finally Found Guilty of Being Tom DeLay

A jury in Texas (a pile of guns behind the prosecutin’ headquarters) has found Tom Guilty delay of conspiracy and money laundering. Sorry, has found Tom DeLay guilty of conspiracy and money laundering. So even though a few months ago, when the Justice Department cleared him of all charges in the Abramoff case, conservatives were telling us all we should be ashamed for what we did to this poor man, all is right for the world and will now face “between 5 and 99 years in prison,” which is a place better known in Texas as “the musical electric chairs.” “This is an abuse of power,” DeLay said, which is sad, because that man used to love abusing power. Read more on Tom DeLay Finally Found Guilty of Being Tom DeLay…
  let history be the judge

Obama Struggling To Confirm More Wise Latina Judges

More proof that Barack Obama is … Nixon? A determined Republican stall campaign in the Senate has sidetracked so many of the men and women nominated by President Barack Obama for judgeships that he has put fewer people on the bench than any president since Richard Nixon at a similar point in his first term 40 years ago. Read more on Obama Struggling To Confirm More Wise Latina Judges…
  justice in our time

Washington Post Passes Froomkin To Huffington Post For Victory!

Here’s some happy news: Fired WashingtonPost.com columnist Dan Froomkin has been hired by the Huffington Post to run the monster-blog’s new DC bureau. Now mean old neocon Charles Krauthammer and his faux-liberal enablers at the Washington Post can’t get Froomkin fired ever again, ha ha. Something makes us think Froomkin’s page views will go way up now that he’ll be promoted on the HuffPo front page rather than buried in the unloved online ghetto of the corrupt, dying Washington Post. Eat a bag of rat dicks, WaPo! [Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Washington Post Passes Froomkin To Huffington Post For Victory!…
  exoticists

Obama Loves Fancy Imports, Such As Dijon Mustard And Terrorists

President Obama, in addition to his many duties as Illegitimate Muslin Overlord of the United States, runs a secret and lucrative sideline business importing the international meat delicacy known as “Guantanamo Bay manflesh.” His first import arrived in New York this week, and John Boehner does not like this one bit. Read more on Obama Loves Fancy Imports, Such As Dijon Mustard And Terrorists…
  national embarrassments

Conviction Of Violent Creep O.J. Simpson Advances The Cause Of Racial Justice

O.J. Simpson did exactly two admirable things in his life: he played football well, and he was in The Towering Inferno. Besides that he was a completely unhinged wife-beating and likely double-homiciding egomaniacal lunatic with impulse-control problems. If you are the LA Times’ resident turdburglar Jonah Goldberg, you look at O.J. Simpson’s depressing, shameful, and entirely predictable decline — culminating in his recent prison sentence for armed robbery — and say, “Hmm, what does this have to do with that other black gentleman I have heard of, Barack Obama?” Read more on Conviction Of Violent Creep O.J. Simpson Advances The Cause Of Racial Justice…
  uncle ted's expensive cabin

Brave Alaskans Liveblog Ted Stevens’ Trial So We Don’t Have To!

Uncle Ted Stevens, the elderly fraud who “gets hysterical when he has to spend his own money,” will soon be going to trial for various lies related to the renovation of his Alaskan Sex Cabin in the wilds of Girdwood. The good people of the Alaska Wilderness Political Fund will be liveblogging the whole agonizing ordeal, from jury selection to the part where Ted Stevens snaps on the witness stand and declares “This whole court’s out of order!” and gets wheeled off for shock treatments while his Inuit pal throws a marble wash station out the window. Catch it all here. [A Bridge to Justice] Read more on Brave Alaskans Liveblog Ted Stevens’ Trial So We Don’t Have To!…
  and justice for all

WE ARE TOO BUSY COVERING THE LATEST SEX SCANDAL IN WASHINGTON TO KNOW ABOUT BLOGS VS. THE ASSOCIATED PRESS: The AP wanted a blog to not quote the AP, which is lame and anti-legal and whatever, so then the Justice League of Bloggers held a secret meeting in the AP’s underground lair, in space, and now our former corporate overlords at Gawker are being accused of being “some kid” for not giving respect knuckles to the invisible blogger alliance of justice, because of the “latest sex scandal in Washington.” [Gawker] Read more on …
 

Spitzer Still Free, But Hooker Booker Faces 25 Years

Even though Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client of illegal prostitution companies — which he spent all his time trying to shut down, when he wasn’t actually using the hooker services — and even though he transported Kristen-Ashley (and probably many others) across state lines for white slavery sex acts, there are still no charges filed against him. But a woman who answered the phone and arranged the meetings between the prostitutes and their customers? She faces up to a quarter century in federal prison. [Reuters] Read more on Spitzer Still Free, But Hooker Booker Faces 25 Years…
 

Scalia Tells Haters To Get Over Bush v. Gore

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia would like all you Sad Sallies who are still sore over the 2000 election (which he personally decided, on a bet) to hike up your panties and get over it. “That was like so ten minutes ago,” he tells 60 Minutes‘ Leslie Stahl in an interview to be aired this weekend. Scalia explains that he is great friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and other known liberals whom he has had the graciousness not to murder or even jail in their many years on the Supreme Court. And then he lets loose with a shocking revelation! Read more on Scalia Tells Haters To Get Over Bush v. Gore…
 

Gonzales’ Whiny Speech to DoJ Employees

As Attorney General Gonzales faces increasingly shrill cries for his resignation, and now threats of impeachment, perhaps we ought to take a minute to hear from the man himself. A week and a half ago, he addressed Department of Justice employees via “J TV,” DoJ’s internal tv station, to assure them that he will never, ever, ever leave them, and that he’s fuckin’ innocent. A Justice Employee sent us the speech this weekend, and it’s an entertaining little document of self-delusion. Read more on Gonzales’ Whiny Speech to DoJ Employees…
 

DoJ Protecting Your Right to Love God, Hate Gays

The Department of Justice has adopted a hilarious new interpretation of “Civil Rights” which has critics criticizing with rage. “Civil Rights” now means “the right of organizations to discriminate as much as they want as long as they do it in the name of the lord our god.” And also going after human trafficking instead of hate crimes, because Justice is a zero sum game. Read more on DoJ Protecting Your Right to Love God, Hate Gays…