Listen up kids: People are coming back from vacation soon, which means that the city is on the verge of functioning normally again. Therefore, this is the LAST WEEK that you can stumble into work hungover and/or still drunk and get away with it because NO ONE IS AROUND to catch your drunk ass. As such, you must go out, drink and enjoy an empty DC while it lasts. And then go eat! Just don’t pass out at your table. Your server will be pissed. MORE »

Many DC denizens, if given enough seed money to start a business, would rather invest it in something “fun,” like cocaine. Others, like the Fojol Brothers of Merlindia, opt to buy a food truck, travel around DC and feed drunk people delicious (and healthy!) Indian food. MORE »