julian assange

Are you a grown-ass person that still likes to play with toys and pretend you are someone else? We really wish we could stop you from doing that. But since we can’t, why not consider fighting for freedom of the press or something like that, but in a really self-aggrandizing way by pretending you are […]

  Continuing his hallowed tradition of fixing things that ain’t broke and shaking his fist impotently at Obamacare, Big Government, and a cloud, Darrell Issa is introducing a bill that would require the the HHS to inform people if their seeekrit healthcare data is stoled in a security breach of the ACA website. Damn straight […]

Today we thought we would circle past the Wonkette international desk – tucked away in a far corner of the newsroom, next to the janitorial supplies and a dusty pile of Butterstick references – and see what’s cookin’ overseas that does not have anything to do with Syria, because good Lord we’re tired of thinking […]

An Army judge has found Private First Class Bradley Manning guilty on most charges relating to espionage, in his release of classified information to Wikileaks. Manning was found not guilty on the biggest charge, “aiding the enemy,” which could have put him in prison for life without parole. It’s probably about the best he could […]

It is time once again for another round of our new favorite game, Where in the World is Edward Snowden? Last we heard of our intrepid hero, he was still stranded in the transit zone of the Moscow airport, subsisting on Cinnabons while growing more and more frustrated that Hudson News is always slow to […]

Oh cool, Anonymous (we think it is Anonymous?) says Karl Rove was gonna vote fraud all the Machines, and that’s why he was so flabbergasted and refused to believe it when Fox called Ohio for Bamz, but they stopped him from stealing all the Machines by jamming up ORCA, because it was not actually a […]

Here is the morning’s top non-news story: Famous terrorist organization Wikileaks has released Top Secret documents which suggest that America’s Permanent Detention Center in Cuba is full of innocent people! How could this be? The leaked Detainee Assessment Briefs also include “intelligence” coerced from detainees, after they were “interrogated.” For instance, al-Qaeda has allegedly “hidden […]

LAAAAAAAADIES!  2:28 pm April 1, 2011

Julian Assange Dancing

by Jack Stuef

Yeah, about what you’d expect. [YouTube]

Look, if Allison Silverman sends us an e-mail asking if we would post a video she made, what are we going to do, not post it? We’re going to post it automatically. Because that woman is a comedy genius. It’s going to be a fine tragedy when the Anonymous retards kidnap her Neopets or whatever […]

When Mr. Hislop pointed out that Mr. Rusbridger was not Jewish, Mr. Assange countered that The Guardian’s editor was “sort of Jewish” because he and Mr. Leigh, who is Jewish, were brothers-in-law. Later, the article recounted, Mr. Assange asked Mr. Hislop to “forget the Jewish thing,” but he continued to insist there was a conspiracy […]

A British court ruled on Thursday that Julian Assange is an international INTERPOL Amber Alert Threat and must be extradited to Sweden immediately, so that he doesn’t miss his connecting flight to Bagram. (How many hours of “hanging on a meat hook” will it take before Julian confesses that he is Un-American, just like Scotland […]

Congratulations, condom. Now you too are famous. As far as we know, the condom hasn’t spoken a word to a police about its connections to the American government or how much it paid it off. [Gawker]

In what appears to be the first diplomatic casualty from the latest WikiLeaks revelations, the U.S. ambassador to Libya has returned to Washington and is likely to leave his post, U.S. officials said Tuesday. Libya doesn’t like American ambassadors speculating on what Gaddafi does with his “nurses,” it turns out. Perhaps this diplomat will sue […]

Disgraced Newsmax “reporter” (government neo-con lie re-spewer) Judith Miller is also on Fox News, it turns out, because they hire commentators based on how many war crimes they’re responsible for. (Even though nobody on Fox & Friends can understand what Genghis Khan is saying.) According to Miller, who yes, blindly spread the lies given her […]