• For years, McCain has been serving as imperial warrior-king of Colombia. He is tasked with pleasuring the leader of “Chiquita” (a leftist banana terror group) and ruling FARC, which is “Acorn” in Spanish. [Hendrik Hertzberg]
• Palin says that she would tell people to stop calling Obama a terrorist if she ever heard people call him a terrorist, and, of course, if he weren’t actually a terrorist. Which he is.  [The Caucus]
• Crypto-Republican liar Judith Miller, the journalist-rogue who would not play by the rules, has been adopted by Fox News! [Gawker]
• John Kerry used a “homonym”—Massachusetts-speak for a gay pun—to say this horrifying and graphic thing about the preferred environs of his and John McCain’s genitalia. [Ben Smith]
• Conservative think-tank Facebook has hired Alberto Gonzales’ former chief of staff, which explains why its RSS feed, an insidious socialist information dissemination method, is mysteriously partially broken. [AMERICAblog]

* Start practicing your draft card burning now — troop surge may include 48,000 new soldiers. [DefenseTech]
* All the Oscars and Nobel prizes in the world can’t stop Al Gore from crying himself to sleep about the one that got away. [MoJo]
* Fuck it, nevermind: Limbaugh’s up for a Nobel too. [Think Progress]
* If you love Jesus, you hate Alexandra Pelosi. It just has to be that way. [Pandagon]
* Luckily, mom has access to some armor-plated transport. Because if there’s one thing about bible belts, it’s that they usually have guns on them. [Captain's Quarters]
* Joe Biden is a racist marketing genius. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Barack Obama’s so open minded he even hires staffers who maxed out their contributions to Bush in 2004. [The Politico]
* Judith Miller had to go to jail all by her lonesome thanks to… Jason Blair. [Radar]

* Republican resolutions opposing troop escalation are accumulating on the Senate floor, according to Arlen “Snowflake” Specter. [WP, NYT]
* Obama-plan-o-rama calls for all troops to be home from Iraq by Spring ‘08. [WP]
* Judith Miller was “nervous, confused, and agitated” on the witness stand. Turns out it was just pride, fucking with her. [WP, NYT, WSJ]
* Democrats pass spending bill under pressure from DC baseball fans. [WP, NYT]
* German and Italian governments issue indictments for the Jason Bournes in their countries. [LAT]
* Clinton buddy thinks its high time that high-guys got good life insurance. [WP]

* Ralph Reed is happy to grip and grin with a blatant adultering cousin-fucker, as long as it brings in contributions. [Talk To Action] MORE »

* Those crazy libertarians! They love getting naked in the hot-tub, but can’t seem to get it up. Politically that is. [Real Clear Politics] MORE »

People seem to be having a good time these days. This week in Wonk’d brings us Judy Miller, savoring her freedom; Chief Justice John Roberts, taking in the cherry blossoms; and James Carville, enjoying a springtime run. Also spotted: Hillary Clinton, hopping into her pimped-out town car; Rep. James Sensenbrenner, buying a small fortune in lottery tickets; and Cynthia McKinney pal Danny Glover, asking for directions. You can check them out, along with several other celebrity sightings, after the jump.

Please continue to keep us well-stocked in sightings, via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted celeb). Thanks!

MORE »

In the annals of shit Judy Miller has made up, this is small potatoes, but it’s still pretty cute: MORE »

* Names & Faces: Anna Nicole Smith’s case arrives at the Supreme Court tomorrow. [WP]
* Inside Politics: Justice Antonin Scalia: “I used to travel on the subway from Queens to Manhattan with a rifle. Could you imagine doing that today in New York City?”. . . Sen. Reid (D-Nev.): “If elections were held today, we’d pick up five seats. The Senate would be 50-50.”. . . Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D) was expecting a “legit” reporter when he sat for an interview with “The Daily Show.” [WT]
* Page Six: Judith Miller is reduced to wearing all black and reading the New York Post on the subway. [NYP]

The Washingtonian has just hit the stands with a list of the city’s “50 Best and Most Influential Journalists.” That’s right: best and most influential, though recent events seem to suggest it’s really an either/or proposition. How else can they justify putting Judy Miller on the list? Face it: the “best” is wishful thinking. Also, it sounded classier than the Washingtonian editor’s original roster, “50 People We Would Like to Owe Us a Favor.” MORE »

• Washington Whispers: Turns out many modern presidents don’t like the Oval Office. . . Springsteen for Senate? In Sen. Jon Corzine’s dream. . . “International incident” may result when the National Zoo must turn over panda Tai Shan to China in two years. . . Sen. Barbara Boxer: “If liberals read [my novel] and it makes them happy, then I consider it a success.” [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Bush’s trip to the southwest includes fundraising stops for Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) and Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO). [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Jayson Blair on Judith Miller: “[A] lot of reporters there live by special rules. What scares people at The Times is how quickly you can switch from being a star to being vilified.” [NYDN]

• Names & Faces: Laura says her daughters are not interested in political careers but “that would be great” if they were. [WP]
• Page Six: Judith Miller’s severance package rumored to be in the seven figures. [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Governor-elect Jon Corzine (D-N.J.) may appoint “Wall Street buddy” Orin Kramer to take his senate seat. [NYP]