Ha ha, sucks: “WASHINGTON — Federal authorities on Wednesday identified Democratic Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. of Illinois as the potential United States Senate candidate who was portrayed in court papers made public Tuesday as being the most deeply enmeshed in the alleged scheme by Gov. Rod Blagojevich to benefit from his appointment of a new senator to the seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.” Uh oh, Daddy Jackson will have to CUT HIS NUTZ OFF now. MORE »

Our President-elect has mastered the art of time travel and can shoot laser beams from his nipples, but he hasn’t figured out yet how to be in two places at the same time. ERGO, somebody must fill his senatorial seat while he is off being the President. But who, hmmm? Jesse Jackson Jr. seems to be making a lot of noise about he wants the seat, but that is what those Jacksons do — talk endlessly about whatever. MORE »

So Jesse Jackson asked Barack Obama to teabag him or something; we don’t know yet. Anyway, here’s a statement from Jesse Jackson Jr., a national co-chair of Barack Obama’s campaign as well Jesse Jackson’s terrible son:

“I’m deeply outraged and disappointed in Reverend Jackson’s reckless statements about Senator Barack Obama. His divisive and demeaning comments about the presumptive Democratic nominee — and I believe the next president of the United States — contradict his inspiring and courageous career. …Instead of tearing others down, Barack Obama wants to build the country up and bring people together so that we can move forward, together — as one nation. The remarks like those uttered on Fox by Reverend Jackson do not advance the campaign’s cause of building a more perfect Union.”

Racist. [WP/The Trail]