Tag Archives: journamalism

  get me rewrite!

Brave Hero Breitbart Reporter CRUSHES Dumb Buzzfeed Guy Who Lied All Over Donald Trump

These are dark days indeed for McKay Coppins, some dumb guy from Buzzfeed who wrote a totally uncalled-for scurrilous PACK OF LIES about Donald Trump, who as everyone knows is the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST GUY, and then McKay Coppins forced Donald Trump to fire his own top aide! What a dick! It is dark days for McKay Coppins because he just got PWNED by hero reporter Matthew Boyle, of Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Hideaway for Craven Sniveling Soul-Free Shitweasels Super Good Reporters Who Will TRUTH ALL OVER YOUR FACE. Let us read and marvel at M. Boyle’s masterclass in journalisming all over Coppins and his so-called “reporting,” including allegations of eyerape, not to mention scumbaggery, together! Read more on Brave Hero Breitbart Reporter CRUSHES Dumb Buzzfeed Guy Who Lied All Over Donald Trump…
  derp throat

Sad Bob Woodward Would Have Journalismed Edward Snowden Way Better Than That Dumb Glenn Greenwald

Superhero Videogame Star and onetime journalist Bob Woodward has a sad that Edward Snowden talked to other journalists instead of to Legendary Journalist Bob Woodward. Not for his own sake, of course, but for the sake of Journamalism and Standards: “I wish he had come to me instead of others, particularly The Guardian… I would have said to him ‘let’s not reveal who you are. Let’s make you a protected source and give me time with this data and let’s sort it out and present it in a coherent way.’” OK, sure, we really would have liked just about anything that might have put the focus on what the NSA was doing, rather than turning the whole discussion into a game of “Edward Snowden: Heroic Famewhore or Traitorous Whistleblower?” On the other hand, thank you, the Great and Powerful Bob Woodward, for that bit of entirely Woodwardian self-regard. Read more on Sad Bob Woodward Would Have Journalismed Edward Snowden Way Better Than That Dumb Glenn Greenwald…
  anals of journamalism

Daily Mail Accurately Reports That Barack Obama Attended Sportsball Game, Gets Everything Else Not Right

Here is some video of Barack Obama and family arriving at a sportsball game Sunday at the University of Maryland. They went to watch Michelle’s brother Craig Robinson, who coaches the Oregon State University sportsball men. Give it a listen, but turn it down before you get to about 2:13, when some really loud music comes in. What do you hear in this video? According to British tabloid the Daily Mail, this is what you heard: “Obama gets BOOED at the basketball: Crowd jeers First Family as they take courtside seats at college game.” While we like the quaint phrasing of “at the basketball,” we’re pretty sure that this video depicts a crowd that is mostly cheering, with some boos, not a crowd that is mostly booing. Then again, who are you going to believe, the headline, or your own lying ears? (or maybe the Daily Mail’s own lying URL, which more accurately reflects the AP story the piece is drawn from: “Obama-family-mixed-reception-cheers-boos-courtside-seats…”) Tell us more about what we are seeing, Daily Mail! Read more on Daily Mail Accurately Reports That Barack Obama Attended Sportsball Game, Gets Everything Else Not Right…
  is this real life?

So This Is The One That Is Finally Going To Get Richard Cohen Fired From Washington Post, Right? RIGHT?

Last week, Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen, who is paid to have opinions ‘n’ things, finally realized that slavery was really, really bad y’all, like even worse than taxes and stuff. This week? It is hard to explain without going into an actual seizure, like when you are playing Japanese video games, or whatever, you know, with the strobes and the epilepsy? Like that, but from disgust and sadness and stabbiness and suicidal ideation at the state of humanity and our world. Are you ready? Here, let us let Richard Cohen tell you himself: Read more on So This Is The One That Is Finally Going To Get Richard Cohen Fired From Washington Post, Right? RIGHT?…
  the devil made her do it

Kathryn Jean Lopez Stole Peggy Noonan’s Laudanum, Is Seeing Demons Errrrrewhere

The tweet was promising. First, it was from K-Lo, Kathryn Jean Lopez — previously seen instructing us that we should give our kids boundaries like “no you may not shoot up a school” — and it read “When to Call an Exorcist?” OK, K-Lo, we will bite, you lovable pile of batshit. When, indeed, to call an exorcist? With K-Lo, endlessly regretting the vulgarities of Vatican II from her comfortingly cozy straitjacket at National Review Online, the answer is probably, “Touched your wanger? That’s an exorcisin’!” But even knowing and loving K-Lo as we do, we were completely unprepared for the horror show that awaited us at NRO. On Halloween, The Drudge Report highlighted a Washington Post interview with the author of The Exorcist. William Peter Blatty had used the word “demonic,” and now there atop Drudge was a photo of of Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. GUUUURRRRRL YOU HIGH AS FUCK. Read more on Kathryn Jean Lopez Stole Peggy Noonan’s Laudanum, Is Seeing Demons Errrrrewhere…
  off with their heads!

The Taliban Getting Pretty High And Mighty About Daily Beast’s Crimes Against Journalism

Daily Beast, we hope you are good and ashamed of yourself! You have been called out for your bad behavior by no less an authority on “crimes” than the “Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan,” known to you and me as “The Taliban.” Read more on The Taliban Getting Pretty High And Mighty About Daily Beast’s Crimes Against Journalism…
  we don't have to give you no stinking bagdercare

CNN Shows How Hard It Is For Wisconsin Poors To Sign Up For Obamacare, ‘Forgets’ To Mention Scott Walker’s Medicaid Cuts

In our Professional Journamalism Files today, a tale of Best Editorial Practices, as turned up by Tommy Christopher at Mediaite. On Thursday, CNN ran a story about a clinic in Wisconsin where the poors are having a heck of a hard time getting enrolled in the Affordable Care Act. Over a chyron reading “Clinic has zero Obamacare Sign-Ups,” Wolf Blitzer solemnly introduced the shocking story of how staff at community clinics haven’t signed up a single person, mostly due to problems with the Healthcare.gov website. The CNN story, reported by Drew Griffin, leaves out just one teensy detail: Not only did Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker refuse to accept Obamacare’s expansion of Medicaid, which is already cutting the number of uninsured in other states, he actually pushed through changes in the state’s Medicaid alternative, Badgercare, that will lead to 92,000 low-income residents losing their coverage on January 1st. You’d think CNN might have mentioned it, since, as Christopher reports, one of Griffin’s sources discussed the Badgercare cuts with him in some detail. Funny how that didn’t get mentioned in a story about how some folks were having a hard time getting signed up for Obamacare, eh? Read more on CNN Shows How Hard It Is For Wisconsin Poors To Sign Up For Obamacare, ‘Forgets’ To Mention Scott Walker’s Medicaid Cuts…
  nothing but flowers

Perfectly Believable Gennifer Flowers Says She And Bill Would Be Sweetly Married Today If Not For That Hellbeast Chelsea

In an exclusive interview with the Daily Mail, Gennifer Flowers reveals that Bill Clinton was the “love of her life,” that they’d be married and living it up today if not for Chelsea, and that Clinton confided to her that Hillary is definitely bisexual. And would you believe this incredible interview just happens to coincide with the launch of Flowers’ new job as a sex columnist? Talk about lucky timing! Read more on Perfectly Believable Gennifer Flowers Says She And Bill Would Be Sweetly Married Today If Not For That Hellbeast Chelsea…
  facts are getting the best of them

MSNBC’s Chuck Todd Explains Media Don’t Need To Show You No Stinking Facts On Obamacare

On MSNBC Wednesday, Chuck Todd patiently explained that it’s not the media’s job to correct lies about the Affordable Care Act, because what do you take them for, a source of factual information or something? In an interview on “Morning Joe,” former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell said he believed that most opposition to the ACA was the result of misinformation coming from Republicans. Todd agreed, and went a step beyond that: “But more importantly, it would be stuff that Republicans have successfully messaged against it,” Todd told Rendell. “They don’t repeat the other stuff because they haven’t even heard the Democratic message. What I always love is people say, ‘Well, it’s you folks’ fault in the media.’ No, it’s the President of the United States’ fault for not selling it.” Why, if it were the media’s job to actually transmit factual information, surely someone would have told Chuck Todd about that, possibly in a memo. Read more on MSNBC’s Chuck Todd Explains Media Don’t Need To Show You No Stinking Facts On Obamacare…
  mansions are people my friend

Want To Write About Rich People And Their Rich People Mansions? The Wall Street Journal Wants YOU!

Hey, Serious Journamalists, are you looking for a new challenge? Maybe you’ve done your embedded time in the Iraq or the Afghanistan, and you’ve done your fair share of reporting on blowed up limbs and now you’re like, meh, how can I really push the limits of my reporting skills? Well, polish off that résumé because the Wall Street Journal — our nation’s newspaper of record for people who wake up in the dead of the night cold-sweating about their stock portfolio — has an exciting new opportunity for you to really earn your journamalism stripes: Read more on Want To Write About Rich People And Their Rich People Mansions? The Wall Street Journal Wants YOU!…
  newsbeast is dead long live newsbeast

Tina Brown To Leave Daily Beast, Now Free To Ruin New Publication

Today we bid farewell — or prepare to bid farewell, if “a source with direct knowledge” has given the straight dope to Buzzfeed — to Tina Brown as editor of The Daily Beast, and maybe, who knows, to the Beast itself: According to a source with direct knowledge of the situation, The Daily Beast parent company IAC owned by media mogul Barry Diller does not plan to renew Brown’s contract when it expires in January. The decision has been made for the two sides to part ways, said the source, but precise details of the separation are still being worked out. Yr Doktor Zoom is not what you’d call a media insider, but he reads enough to know that Tina Brown has kind of a reputation for… well, shall we say, flashy crap over substance? Like those charming Newsweek covers of ragey Muslims and Zombie Princess Di? So what’s next for the woman who is to media properties what the 9/11 hijackers were to office buildings? Read more on Tina Brown To Leave Daily Beast, Now Free To Ruin New Publication…
  let's make lots of money

Did Tampa Port Chief And Slumlord Get Public Funds For His Filthy Hovels? Would You Believe ‘Yes’?

You may recall the saga of William “Hoe” Brown, the chair of the Tampa Port Authority and big-dollar GOP fundraiser who also ran a filthy mobile-home slum on a commercial property that wasn’t zoned for rentals — at least until the Tampa Bay Times detailed the “unlivable conditions” in the trailers, which were filthy and infested with roaches. Well! Time for a couple of updates! The good news is that after the scandal broke in July, Brown shut down his slum and was shamed into resigning his unpaid but influential positions on the Port Authority and several other civic boards. The bad news is that bad news continues to trickle out — like sewage from a leaky septic system — about just how scummy this guy’s business practices were, including another Times story on Saturday, revealing that Brown collected some $600,000 in rent since 1998 from a Hillsborough County agency that provided temporary housing for homeless people. But there’s even some good-ish news there — we won’t go so far as to call it Nice Time — in that the agency will now reform its procedures to make sure it’s not sending poor people to live in filthy hovels, so one cheer for that at least. Read more on Did Tampa Port Chief And Slumlord Get Public Funds For His Filthy Hovels? Would You Believe ‘Yes’?…
  why not take a local newspaper quail hunting?

Liz Cheney Is Your New Winston Churchill, Will Stop Obamacare From Annexing The Sudetenland

In a speech to a crowd of 150 Tea Party supporters Tuesday, senate candidate Liz Cheney said she did not support airstrikes on Syria because President Obama has not adequately defined goals for the potential intervention, and because she believes Obama should have supported Syrian rebels before anti-Assad forces included “Islamist radicals.” This is an interesting change from two years ago, when most rightwing opponents of aid to Syrian rebels warned against arming Islamist radicals. The Jackson Hole News&Guide (that’s their in-house spacing) also reports that Cheney filled her 90-minute speech and question-and-answer session with red meat for the conservative crowd. She compared herself to Winston Churchill standing up to Adolph Hitler and suggested members of both parties in Congress are hiding information about Obamacare from the public. She wrote off the entire newspaper industry, but more specifically the Jackson Hole News&Guide. We are sort of wondering what Winston Churchill would have thought about not bombing anyone, as he was reportedly rather fond of the practice. Read more on Liz Cheney Is Your New Winston Churchill, Will Stop Obamacare From Annexing The Sudetenland…
  Your must-read primer on chicks who eat food

New York Times Breaks Story Of Astonishing New Trend: Women Have Lunch Together, Eat Salads, Discuss Stuff

Oh, New York Times, you never fail to amaze us with your serious investigative journamalism into the strange and mysterious creature that is Woman. How often does Hillary Clinton sleep with her husband? How is being a successful career lady stopping you from finding a barely decent man to marry your sad single ass? How should you communicate with your children’s nanny? But oh, our newspaper of record, you have really outdone yourself with this earth-shattering story that will change history forever: A salad may seem modest, but that dish (and its cult following among trend-attuned New Yorkers like Ms. Bhojwani) is emblematic of a shift in the way that women participate in the crucial information-gathering and idea-generating ritual known as lunch. Stop the presses! There is a newfangled thingymabob called “A Salad” and women eat it! At lunch! With other women! Read more on New York Times Breaks Story Of Astonishing New Trend: Women Have Lunch Together, Eat Salads, Discuss Stuff…
  nasty little hobbitses

Nice Time! Let’s All Watch This Former U.S. Attorney Yelling At James O’Keefe!

There is not much to say about this lovely video of former US Attorney Jim Letten, the man who prosecuted O’Keefe for pretending to be a phone company worker to get into Mary Landrieu’s office for nefarious reasons not quite known (though it was always suspected he intended to bug her phone) and to which O’Keefe pleaded guilty. Ignore O’Keefe’s overwrought voiceover regarding how he is being “threatened” by Letten yelling “shut up” at him. And ignore his weak-sauce argument that he showed his driver’s license at Landrieu’s office, so pretending to be a phone company worker could not at all be fraud. Read more on Nice Time! Let’s All Watch This Former U.S. Attorney Yelling At James O’Keefe!…