Wonkette

Oh rats, we discovered unemployed blogger Meghan McCain’s YouTube channel and were all set to post “A Children’s Treasury of Comical Meghan McCain YouTube Videos,” but they are all SO BORING. Half of them are about visiting deformed people in third-world countries. Who cares about those people! (At least they have excuses for being unemployed, btw.) Here’s the only decent one, and it’s five months old. It documents the famous Sedona barbecue the McCains held for their journalist friends back in March. MORE »

Yesterday, John McCain made a gaffe that no one cared about: he referred to the Czech Republic as “Czechoslovakia,” which is actually correct, but only if you think time froze in 1992. Does John McCain think this? Because today, for the second day in a row, he referred to that same country as “Czechoslovakia.” It turns out he has been making this same mistake regularly for most of his post-Cold War political career, but since he gives the Journalistic Reporters apple-flavored lollipops on his comfy bus every day, they choose not to write about it. The Main Stream Media’s inability to mention this exact gaffe, in fact, was something George Bush complained about during the 2000 primary season. And look how that turned out for him! MORE »

Despite the fact that he now leads the Democratic nomination race by every conceivable metric, Barack Obama will not be the candidate running against John McCain. Legions of Clinton die-hards will turn out in West Virginia tomorrow to stick it to MSNBC, Robert Reich, non-hard-working white people, and other members of the sexist cabal who want Hillary to throw in the towel before she has humiliated herself in all 50 states (plus Guam, Samoa, the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and Tatooine). MORE »

Barack Obama doesn’t just ignore the gay and lesbian press. He ignores reporters of every hue, creed, nationality, and sexual preference! This is because he believes that every member of the Journalistic Profession deserves the right to be completely and summarily dismissed out of hand. He will not answer questions about Hamas when he wants to eat his waffles; he will not hold a press conference even though he says he will. He is basically that no goodnik boyfriend who always stands you up at the last minute, when he isn’t refusing to answer questions about Hamas over waffles. Does he understand that the press might quit polishing his knob if he keeps up this irresponsible behavior? [Political Ticker]

President George W. Bush continued to waste his last year in office Saturday, as he hosted a reception for Danish Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen at his Crawford ranch. As they were eating lunch and discussing the… tense?… relations between Denmark and the United States, some batshit redneck lady was threatening to shoot Danish journalists for trespassing across the street. Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen was not harmed in the incident. MORE »

In one of its two entries Friday displaying a public figure throwing the Shocker, silly Wonkette forgot to credit the single greatest news source in America — George Washington University’s Hatchet — for a photo received anonymously over the tip line. Well, fuck us! We surely deserved this “Cease and disist [sic]” letter from the Hatchet’s senior photo editor, Ben Solomon:

It has come to my attention that you have made an unauthorized use of copyrighted work of The GW Hatchet on the website www.wonkette.com . The copyrighted work is a photo of Ben Stein (the “Work”), which was published on 10/25/07. The GW Hatchet has reserved all rights in the Work. Your work clearly is copyrighted published material owned by The Hatchet…. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by November 9, 2007 indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, The Hatchet will be required to take further action against you.

As we stew in our war room over how to respond by the all-too-soon Nov. 9 deadline, we thought we’d turn our attention to the Hatchet for a few seconds and make fun of it. MORE »

As FishbowlDC continues its “Hottest Media People” contest, the campaigning and politicking grow more desperate. Yesterday we mocked their appearance, but today we’ll mock them personally.

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Bob Novak makes a lot less than people think he does! He’s worth a mere $7 to $8 million and made $625,000 from CNN. Just in case there was a chance you might enjoy your weekend. [Extreme Mortman]

Actually, keep bugging CQ’s Craig Crawford about Don Imus. It’s funny. But good luck doing it via email. His auto-response this weekend was a bit testy. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Folks who drank for free at Tuesday night’s Guinness-sponsored St Patrick’s Day party were cool, but if you tried to take the free cab home, you were in violation of House Ethics rules… Post reporter wanders onto House floor during first day on the job… Everyone loves Stevie Wonder… Senators are not very punctual, find it difficult to make it to the Capitol in time to vote. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Chuck Schumer’s “It’s Academic” team reunited. Breaking: Chuck Schumer was a tool in 1967 too… The BBC reported that some fake blog was actually written by Patrick Fitzgerald. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Rep. Dennis Rehberg admits to being illiterate… Thaddeus McCotter is holding a fundraiser tonight at the Chi-Cha Lounge so that he can smoke. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Sens. Clinton and Lott barely made it to the Senate in time for for the cloture vote in Iraq… Which Dem lawmaker’s leaked Dave Obey’s made-up info to the press? … José Serrano: funny guy! … Rep. Dutch Ruppersberger: 36th most liked member of congress… Wyclef loves Barry Obama. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Jean Schmidt slipped and fell on vomit in a Cannon bathroom. Laughing out loud, etc. etc. [Politico]
* Rush & Molloy: Senator Arnold Schwarzenegger? God save us all. [NYDN]