Ha ha remember this little flapperoo last week? The Washington Times’ secret Korean Jesus Picture Robot auto-selected a terrible wire photo for the newspaper’s story about young children dying, in Chicago. Call it a “WTF Moment,” in the parlance of our times. And perhaps because of this, and other flaps (constant lies, or at least a reputation for!), mean editor John Solomon will now be instituting PERMANENT RECORDS and DETENTION forever. MORE »

Notable New York Times stater of the obvious, occasional pie-target, and secret True/Slant commentator Thomas Friedman used to be made of money. His wife’s money, specifically, from malls. But then the malls went into bankruptcy and poor Tom Friedman must sing for his supper in tiny $75,000 increments. MORE »

Tuesday, May 12: The week in Think-Tank Stuff starts with a new installment of “What is Obama fucking up now?” The answer? Heath care reform, according to the Heritage Foundation. MORE »

Madame regina St. Peggintonia Noonanshire of the Wall Street Journal banking pamphlet guest-hosted a special version of Mornington Joeington today, and one of the topics was the Death of Newspapers and Journalism. In this snippetington, she interrupts a polite conversation between Mika and Arianna to declare an Official Sadness over how, in the future times, our greatest newspapers will not be able to afford sending a single reporter “undercover” to Newark, New Jersey for five months. “Oh well.” Then she calls everyone who does anything on the Internet an idiot, especially in San Diego. Just a very rude woman sometimes, Peggington is. [MSNBC]

It is the end of the 100 days, at some point soon! We do not know the exact day because January 20 + 100 = January 120?? (SOMEONE ASK NATE SILVER.) So the next week will be a crucial time for the Media to reflect on what has been accomplished in this arbitrary time period, for no reason, except that apparently new presidents are not allowed to do anything important when it ends. Let’s see how the White House Press Corps is reflecting about itself and its rare opportunity to ask the president’s top spokesman direct questions about anything, every day. MORE »

Today is “Oscar Sunday” for newspapers, Pulitzer Day! This is when the various important newspapers vie for the most important prizes in the fields of journalistic news reporting and commentary before returning to their offices to get laid off or fire-sold into slavery. MORE »

Hey does anyone know what the hell is going on with the media? Did all professional journalistic reporters catch idiot cancer overnight? Here we have the Washington Post’s Lois Romano, a fine reporter usually (we guess?), landing an interview with Robert Gibbs. A GOOD JOURNALISTIC OPPORTUNITY. And the two questions she asks immediately… well you know what those are going to be, don’t you? MORE »

We know that a few of you might consider this “inside baseball,” so if that’s the case, then don’t read any more of this post and go do something else. Easy! Now: The New Republic heard the kids’ clamoring and has decided to release the full, insane Politico memo quoted in its new story, about Politico. Mike Allen, or whoever wrote this, is basically an evil version of Hitler. [TNR]

Boy howdy, this March 4th edition (how??) of The New Republic is a real piece of work! Here’s an interesting snippet from an editorial titled “MSM, RIP,” by The Editors: “On The Huffington Post and its ilk, you would find rants about how ‘Beltway media really makes no effort to do anything other than parrot totally out-of-touch conventional wisdom–no matter how inane, stupid and ridiculous it is.’ This rhetoric creates a poisonous atmosphere. By assaulting the credibility of the press, it destroys its authority in the culture, giving cover to politicians who would rather avoid dealing with reporters in the first place.” Man, those liberal bloggers sure had some nerve that time they invented the massive natural forces dictating the evolution of information flow, huh? Well, enough. Don’t adapt, just stop the Internet. And if you think some newspaper isn’t credible, keep it to yourself, because that could destroy the newspaper’s authority! [TNR]

The New Republic’s Gabriel Sherman has a lovely new story out about the dystopian hell chamber that is the Politico newsroom. The snarling, leprous leadership of Jim VandeHei and John Harris (a.k.a. “VandeHarris,” or simply, “AnusHair”) greets its intrepid blog reporters each morning at 5:30 a.m. with a hot shower of molten lava, followed by a threat to feed them to the rabid, one-eyed Beast of Ancient Times (held in an office storage pod in Manassas) if they do not get a Drudge link by 11 a.m. “SMITH, BEN SSSMITHHHH,” the death demon VandeHarris roars, spittle flying from its mouth, before slithering back to its dungeon for a breakfast of live rats, copper shavings, and ostrich blood. “YOU MUST WIN THE MORNING… A GUEST SLOT ON HARDBALL COMPELS YOU…” MORE »

Last night Obama went to introduce himself to the White House press corps briefly, politely. A Politico reporter started harassing him about one of his appointments. Obama told him to STFU, he could ask it at the next briefing. Politico writes the following lede this morning: “President Obama made a surprise visit to the White House press corps Thursday night, but got agitated when he was faced with a substantive question.” MORE »