The GOP’s two most important and popular “fixers,” Vice President Richard “Mitt” Cheney and Bush chief of staff Josh Bolten, spent yesterday on Capitol Hill in a closed-door meeting with Republican Senators, trying to persuade them to vote for the Bush-Democrat Motorcar Bailout plan of $14 billion. (Somehow, $14 billion has become a lot of money for Congress to spend!) The meeting did not go well at all — Cheney bit them? — and now the Republican Senators will never vote for anything involving money and cars again. MORE »

LIBERAL DEMOCRATS SUE WHITE HOUSE: From the AP: “The House Judiciary Committee filed suit Monday to force former White House Counsel Harriet Miers and White House chief of staff Joshua Bolten to provide information about the firing of U.S. attorneys.” Ha ha, they’re still harping about that thing, and those people! George W. Bush will claim executive privilege over this gay law suit, and America will be saved. [AP/Google]

HOUSE REPUBLICANS STOMP OUT OF CONGRESS, NOBODY CARES: Hey, a whole bunch of GOP representatives angrily walked out of the House this afternoon because they’re so angry about how Josh Bolten and Harriet Miers were finally held in contempt of Congress for all their many crimes against America, God and Nature. Happy angry Valentine’s Day, children! [CNN]

Remember that horrific U.S. attorney firing scandal? You know, the one that was extraordinarily illegal and should be guaranteeing Democrats electoral dominance for the next 50 years, if they weren’t so bad at exploiting it? Well, the Senate Judiciary Committee approved contempt resolutions this morning against Karl Rove and White House chief of staff Josh Bolten for ignoring it. So… does this mean we get to put Alberto Gonzales in the pokey any time soon? MORE »

Since bringing on Josh “Yosh” Bolten as Chief of Staff, the White House has been replacing their dead weight with experience political heavy-hitters and respected old Washington favorites left and right. Robert Gates, Hank Paulsen, Fred Fielding, Tony Snow, and now Ed Gillespie are just some of the big names Bolten’s lured to the White House to shake things up, give the President slightly less insane advice, and generally try to pry his brain from the grips of Dick Cheney’s mind-rays. MORE »

* Stephen Hadley and Josh Bolten are bringing their moms to meet the queen tonight, Condi’s banging bringing nobody. [The Swamp]
* Barry Hussein, the terrorists’ candidate, not pissed at Rush Limbaugh calling him a “Magic Negro.” [Political Punch]
* George Voinovich finds out that Colin Powell ain’t got no job, ain’t got shit to do, and likes it that way. [Columbus Dispatch]
* Retarded boy in retarded state sings about his love for Bush. [KUTV]
* Americans are bored of lying to pollsters. [Freakonomics]
* Republicans try to explain why they suck so bad at using ‘puters. [TechRepublican]
* Only dumbasses read blogs; go turn on the teevee. [FDL]

* Barbara Mikulski and Patrick Leahy tell Alberto Gonzales not to speak until spoken too. [WP, NYT]
* Josh Bolten is just as conservative, but way smarter than any Texan. [WP]
* Put your guns in the ground Mitt Romney, you can’t use them anymore. [WP, NYT]
* Oh, that Adam Putnam, such a wily young ginger. [WP]
* The Nantucket and Cape Cod summer crowds steal Agriculture Department money meant for people in legitimately poor, rural areas. [WP]
* Bitter about your student loans? You should be. [NYT]
* David Brody isn’t blogging for Pat Robertson, he’s blogging for Jesus. [LAT]

* Heard on the Hill: Remember when that lady got hassled at the SOTU last year for her “Support the troops” shirt? Now that shirt is going to be in the Newseum. Rep. Gus Bilirakis regularly gets confused with his father, who used to have the seat… Rep. Fred Upton loves beer. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Remember the Scooter Libby trial? Sigh… Everyone wants a Marion Barry wax figure… Josh Bolten sang with Randy Travis at the Kuwaiti Embassy… Secret living room Thievery Corporation show party hosts revealed! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: The Weekly Standard’s Stephen Hayes is penning a 400-page blowjob of Dick Cheney… You’re apparently not allowed to wear a kilt on the floor of the Senate. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: A letter from USNews to Senate offices was checked for Anthrax… Joe Lockhart bought a huge Kalorama house the day after Election Day. [USN&WR]
* The Sleuth: “John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been sneaking over to the National Democratic Club to smoke.” [WP]

We were really excited to read Fred Barnes’ super-mega-ultra-must-read in the Weekly Standard, our top number-one source for what the important insider types are chattering about this week (after Dana Milbank’s fun new gimmick, which we’ll get to). MORE »

Today’s Washington Post has a Q&A with Claudia A. McMurray, head of the State Department’s boring-sounding Bureau of Oceans and International Environmental and Scientific Affairs. But don’t fall asleep yet, because the bureau has a plan to stop international wildlife trafficking… a sexy plan:

“Bo Derek was appointed by the secretary as special envoy to combat wildlife trafficking. She’s obviously a well-known figure. We want to take her around not only the U.S., but to some other countries as well, as soon as she’s done filming this summer, and have her speak to different kinds of audiences, anything from children to businesspeople to the press to academic groups to get the word out.”

And after all, Bo has always demonstrated her kindness to animals, whether large and simian like Josh Bolten, or small and simian like Dudley Moore. MORE »

“I’m a loooooonesome schoolboy, and I just came into town…” (AP) MORE »