Tag: joseph ratzinger

Is he even Catholic?

Conservatives Hate New Pope Now, For Being Dumb Commie Tree-Hugger

They really don't make popes like they used to. You know, the kind who may have sorta kinda been in the Hitler Youth -- but reluctantly! And then kinda sorta tried to cover up all that unpleasantness about Catholic...
Abortion Industrial Complex strikes again!

Pro-Lifers Will Not Have California Putting Dead Babies In All The Vaccines

Of the many claims made by anti-vaxxers, we have to admit this one is new to us: A group that opposes both abortion and vaccinations insists that California needs to keep its vaccine exemption for "personal and religious beliefs"...

Pope Yells at Nuns For Acting Too Much Like Jesus, Not Enough Like Pope

Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger is so proud of his image as the CEO of a lucrative club for child rapists who runs around modeling Prada shoes and phallic hats that he is going to celebrate, by scolding some nuns...

Elderly Bachelor Tells Women How Jesus Will Allow Them To Get Pregnant

An elderly lifelong bachelor who lives with hundreds of other old, single men in a stylish European capital city has given strict orders to the world's women and married heterosexual couples on the allowable methods for human impregnation. Dressed...

Fancy Old Man In Bejeweled Golden Hat Warns of ‘Christmas Glitter’

A creepy old priest-king clad in Prada slippers, flowing robes of silken embroidery and an enormous bejeweled golden hat warned Christians that the true meaning of Christmas was being lost to a sinful pursuit of "glitter." The man, former...

Evil Old Nazi Pope Tries To Trick Anglicans Into Becoming Catholics

Trying to finish what his Nazi forces started during World War II, Pope Joseph Ratzinger will attack England tomorrow with a bizarre offer to turn Anglicans into Catholics, even though he has publically described non-Catholic Christians as following a...

Actual Vatican Sex-Abuse Excuse: Bishops & Priests Don’t Really Work For the Vatican

How is the Vatican's decades-long child-rape international outrage not the Vatican's fault today? The Pope's lawyers are arguing in a Louisville, Kentucky court that priests and bishops don't, uh, actually work for the Vatican. So, you know, not the...

Pope Finally Manages To Vaguely Admit Catholic Church Child Rape Might Be a Bad Thing

Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger flew on his supervillain pope-plane to Portugal and said a few words about the decades-long child-rape scandal destroying the Vatican Mafia's global bullshit business. This is apparently a big deal, that Ratzinger sort of half-ass...

Joseph Ratzinger’s Bishops: Too Much Boy Rapin’, Or Not Enough?

How beloved Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger handled two Austrian bishops and their various sex crimes back in the 1980s is apparently a "Rorschach test," in that those slavish followers of the Evil Pontiff say (in German) that he did...

Happy Millionth Birthday, Pope Nazi Pedobear!

What did the evil Emperor of Rape Joseph Ratzinger get for his birthday? An eternity roasting in Hell, plus a cake! We figured we ought get him something, too.

Vatican Hack Blames … Anti-Semitism For Global Outrage Over His Church Raping Children

Let's see let's see let's see THINK GODDAMMIT what's a good term to use when you're defending an actual NAZI in a Pope Hat over his role in defending and protecting Catholic priests all over the world who rape...

Devil Helping Nazi Pope Rape Kids In Vatican, Hitchens Annoyed

What's the Nazi Pope and his Global Church of Child Fuckers up to these days, anyway? Whatever it is, Christopher Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan are all pissed off about it. Apparently, priests fuck all the little boys. Which reminds us...

CNN Notes Traditional ‘Toppling of the Pope’ As Christmas Celebrations Begin

It's not New Year's until the ball drops in Times Square on New Year's Eve, and Christmas celebrations cannot begin until a woman knocks over the Pope on Christmas Eve. And so began another Feliz Navidad around the world,...

Nut Lady Knocks Over Pope, For Christmas

Beloved Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger was just doing whatever He does at the Vatican on Christmas Eve, when a mysterious Lady In Red just cold knocked his old Nazi ass to the floor, for like two seconds, no big,...

Appeaser Obamas Meet With Former Nazi

What enemy of America is Nobama meeting now? Oh, just former Nazi Youth and New World Order socialist Joseph Ratzinger, Italy's latest "bad pope." How lousy is this pope? He even let Chicago Muslin lady Michelle Obama inside His...

Teabagger Alert: Pope Ratzi Creating Newer ‘New World Order’

Former Nazi Youth and rancid pontiff Joseph Ratzinger has an important message for the agitated teabaggers of America: An even newer New World Order is on the way, and this one is going to be run by the Vatican...