Tag Archives: jonah goldberg

  that traitor reagan is next

Jonah Goldberg Decides Next Wingnut Target Is … Teddy Roosevelt

Not even teabaggers and wingnuts pay any attention to Jonah Goldberg, but he still wants in on this whole GOP purge & self-destruct thing he saw on the Internet, so he has bravely submitted the dead Republican president Teddy “Theodore” Roosevelt as the next victim. Why must the beloved GOP icon be destroyed? Because Jonah actually looked up this Roosevelt guy on Yahoo and whoops, communist much, Teddy? No wonder they called him “The Bull Moose Pulpit” or whatever. Read more on Jonah Goldberg Decides Next Wingnut Target Is … Teddy Roosevelt…
  ryan/pantload '12

GOP’s Nerdy Special Weapon… Just Does Whatever Jonah Goldberg’s Book Tells Him

Ever since Barack Obama called on the GOP’s ranking House budget committee member, Paul Ryan, for a question about health care, and the question was somewhat coherent, Paul Ryan has been considered the smartest Republican in world history, currently. He uses nerd words like “costs” and “Medical inflation,” in sentences! And if he’s so smart, that would make his “ideas guy,” National Review skid mark Jonah Goldberg, extra double-smart, times fifty. Which we knew already. Read more on GOP’s Nerdy Special Weapon… Just Does Whatever Jonah Goldberg’s Book Tells Him…
  rumors on the internets

Ayn Rand: As Dead As Ever, And Maybe More Boring Too!

Happy 105th birthday, Ayn Rand! If you were still alive, millions of Objectivists wouldn’t have to fantasize about having frantic, sweaty intercourse with your dead corpse. [Hit & Run] Matthew turns up the sass! Look at him go! [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Ayn Rand: As Dead As Ever, And Maybe More Boring Too!…
  revelations

THE INTERNET IS JUST GROSS: “‘I had 1,058 requests this morning – mostly from men,’ [Ayla Brown] chuckled. ‘Not really sure if I’m going to be responding to any of them.'” We’re guessing that’s an initial 500 from “Jonah Goldberg,” the next 500 from “Swear To God I Am Not Jonah Goldberg,” and 58 from “I Bet I Can Reach 1,060 Before The Cops Show Up…” (Yeah we know this is really the only “story” we’re posting about today, and that’s because it’s stupid and escapist and fun and beats getting all angry about how everyone is so angry right now.) [Boston Herald] Read more on …
  rumors on the internets

Will 2010 Be Moist Enough For Jonah Goldberg?

It is now fairly evident that “giving up paint-huffing” was not Erick Erickson’s New Year’s resolution. [RedState] The libertarians seized power while you were foolishly slumbering with visions of sugar-plums dancing in your head. And now there is no sugar-plum tax? [Hit & Run] Read more on Will 2010 Be Moist Enough For Jonah Goldberg?…
  avatar is the new epistle to the romans

JONAH GOLDBERG WRITES BEST SENTENCE OF DECADE: Regarding that dreadful 3D movie where the 10-foot-tall blue people hump each other: “What would have been controversial is if — somehow — Cameron had made a movie in which the good guys accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts.” [Los Angeles Times] Read more on …
  things that obviously happened

Jonah Goldberg Inks Big Book Deal, World Expecting To Be Blown Away

In honor of Jonah Goldberg’s hot new million-dollar book deal, we thought we’d re-share this great moment from our nation’s most greatest political thinker ever. When’s your book coming out, average reader? [Gawker] Read more on Jonah Goldberg Inks Big Book Deal, World Expecting To Be Blown Away…
  jonah goldberg is also not a parody

Jonah Goldberg Discovers Funniest Story On Entire Internet

Ha ha ha ha ha hahha ahah, so good, but wait, where’s the… oh…OHHHH! The story itself is the punchline! And yet, what could the specific comedic mechanism be here? Maybe that it’s silly for the U.N. to do this when America is the richest and freest country in the world so obviously there couldn’t be any problems like this. DUH. More likely, though, Jonah just thinks the term “special rapporteur” is French and gay and made up. But it’s… the term they use? For these positions? Oh Jonah. One time he wrote a book about how American liberals are really Nazis! [The Corner via Gawker] Read more on Jonah Goldberg Discovers Funniest Story On Entire Internet…
  rumors on the internets

Jonah Goldberg Has An Advanced Degree In Zombieology

What is ‘Max Baucus’? We simply do not know. [Matt Yglesias] Today’s RedState lecture: “How Limbaugh’s embodiment of MLK’s dream changed my life.” Please take notes because you’ll be tested on this material at the end of the semester. [RedState] Read more on Jonah Goldberg Has An Advanced Degree In Zombieology…
  rumors on the internets

When A Woman Votes, It Is As If She Is Taking A Giant Diarrhea On The American Flag

The Jews have excommunicated Matt Yglesias, which means he will no longer receive the weekly newsletter. Also, he has lost his peanut butter-and-jelly challah sandwich privileges. [Matt Yglesias] REDSTATE SIREN! Republican Senators are probably folding on health care! Why? For Pete’s sake, they have pocket rockets! [RedState] Read more on When A Woman Votes, It Is As If She Is Taking A Giant Diarrhea On The American Flag…
  america's smartest conservative columnist

Suck It, Liberals Whose Only Pets Are Gay Cats

Jonah Goldberg highlights one of the more controversial stances Irving Kristol took in his lifetime. But now school’s out, and Jonah’s fixin’ to get his chicken-finger-platter on and rent some classic Bruce Willis awesomeness! [Twitter via Instaputz, Blue Gal] Read more on Suck It, Liberals Whose Only Pets Are Gay Cats…
  stalkers

Do Not Miss Out On Jonah Goldberg’s Heavy Breathing Telethon TONIGHT

National Review is so fucking weird, Jesus Christ. Here’s their new thing, “National Review Calls Home,” which is like a giant hideous conference call between Jonah Goldberg and rented auxiliary humans Rich Lowry and Mark Steyn—and of course all the National Review subscribers, whom Jonah Goldberg will personally be calling from some sticky-buttoned corded phone somewhere. “During the call Rich, Jonah, and Mark will discuss the hottest issues of the day. You’ll get the opportunity to ask questions, answer surveys, or you can just sit back and enjoy hearing these great pundits and observers make sense of the current political scene.” Jonah Goldberg will actually illegally stalk his readers until they sign up for his fake open-source wingnut radio. [NRO] Read more on Do Not Miss Out On Jonah Goldberg’s Heavy Breathing Telethon TONIGHT…
  rumors on the internets

The Internet Says Hurtful Things About Donald Rumsfeld, Especially ‘Wiki-wakka’

A religious pilgrimage to the sacred “stone dildos” of Freiberg. Starring Matt Yglesias. Rated E for Everyone. [Matt Yglesias] Donald Rumsfeld does not care for the ‘Wiki-wakka.’ [Think Progress] First Obama was a member of the secretive Muslin Templar. Then he converted to Socialism. Then Ernst Röhm invited him to join the Sturmabteilung. And now Barack Obama is the Burger King. How does Obama find time for so many extra-curricular activities? [RedState] Read more on The Internet Says Hurtful Things About Donald Rumsfeld, Especially ‘Wiki-wakka’…