jonah goldberg

Not even teabaggers and wingnuts pay any attention to Jonah Goldberg, but he still wants in on this whole GOP purge & self-destruct thing he saw on the Internet, so he has bravely submitted the dead Republican president Teddy “Theodore” Roosevelt as the next victim. Why must the beloved GOP icon be destroyed? Because Jonah […]

Ever since Barack Obama called on the GOP’s ranking House budget committee member, Paul Ryan, for a question about health care, and the question was somewhat coherent, Paul Ryan has been considered the smartest Republican in world history, currently. He uses nerd words like “costs” and “Medical inflation,” in sentences! And if he’s so smart, […]

Happy 105th birthday, Ayn Rand! If you were still alive, millions of Objectivists wouldn’t have to fantasize about having frantic, sweaty intercourse with your dead corpse. [Hit & Run] Matthew turns up the sass! Look at him go! [Matt Yglesias] Take your hot date to the new romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant, his health care, […]

REVELATIONS  5:17 pm January 20, 2010

by Jim Newell

THE INTERNET IS JUST GROSS: “‘I had 1,058 requests this morning – mostly from men,’ [Ayla Brown] chuckled. ‘Not really sure if I’m going to be responding to any of them.’” We’re guessing that’s an initial 500 from “Jonah Goldberg,” the next 500 from “Swear To God I Am Not Jonah Goldberg,” and 58 from […]

We kind of used up our joke in the headline there. Anyway, gross. [Twitter via Instaputz]

It is now fairly evident that “giving up paint-huffing” was not Erick Erickson’s New Year’s resolution. [RedState] The libertarians seized power while you were foolishly slumbering with visions of sugar-plums dancing in your head. And now there is no sugar-plum tax? [Hit & Run] Finally, a documentary about black people oppressing white people. Very timely, […]

AVATAR IS THE NEW EPISTLE TO THE ROMANS  9:20 am December 30, 2009

by Sara K. Smith

JONAH GOLDBERG WRITES BEST SENTENCE OF DECADE: Regarding that dreadful 3D movie where the 10-foot-tall blue people hump each other: “What would have been controversial is if — somehow — Cameron had made a movie in which the good guys accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts.” [Los Angeles Times]

In honor of Jonah Goldberg’s hot new million-dollar book deal, we thought we’d re-share this great moment from our nation’s most greatest political thinker ever. When’s your book coming out, average reader? [Gawker]

Hey everyone Jonah Goldberg thinks that ladies get pregnant through their knees. This is the only possibly explanation. [via Instaputz]

AND NO  11:15 am November 4, 2009

Jonah Has A Headache, Okay?

by Juli Weiner

But… maybe try sucking harder? [The Corner] (Thank you to Wonkette Operative “Ruprick.”)

Ha ha ha ha ha hahha ahah, so good, but wait, where’s the… oh…OHHHH! The story itself is the punchline! And yet, what could the specific comedic mechanism be here? Maybe that it’s silly for the U.N. to do this when America is the richest and freest country in the world so obviously there couldn’t […]

What is ‘Max Baucus’? We simply do not know. [Matt Yglesias] Today’s RedState lecture: “How Limbaugh’s embodiment of MLK’s dream changed my life.” Please take notes because you’ll be tested on this material at the end of the semester. [RedState] How will Jonah Goldberg survive the impending zombie apocalypse?! Hiding in a spider hole at […]

The Jews have excommunicated Matt Yglesias, which means he will no longer receive the weekly newsletter. Also, he has lost his peanut butter-and-jelly challah sandwich privileges. [Matt Yglesias] REDSTATE SIREN! Republican Senators are probably folding on health care! Why? For Pete’s sake, they have pocket rockets! [RedState] Jonah Goldberg. Born lobotomized? [True/Slant: Michael Roston] Ayn […]

Jonah Goldberg highlights one of the more controversial stances Irving Kristol took in his lifetime. But now school’s out, and Jonah’s fixin’ to get his chicken-finger-platter on and rent some classic Bruce Willis awesomeness! [Twitter via Instaputz, Blue Gal]

National Review is so fucking weird, Jesus Christ. Here’s their new thing, “National Review Calls Home,” which is like a giant hideous conference call between Jonah Goldberg and rented auxiliary humans Rich Lowry and Mark Steyn—and of course all the National Review subscribers, whom Jonah Goldberg will personally be calling from some sticky-buttoned corded phone […]