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Tag: jonah goldberg

Don't worry, Macaulay Culkin didn't do anything wrong!

Trump Idiot Knows The Very Rich Are Different From You And Me. They Are LOL MORE HONEST

Rich people are good, poor people are bad, THE END.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 16, 2016.

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

RNC Day Three: Greta Van Susteren And Jonah Goldberg Did Not Give Us The Norovirus

We guess they could have, but they probably didn't.

Rick Santorum As Purty IRL As He Is On The Television

Jonah Goldberg is in this bar right now but we haven't decided how to sexxxily start a conversation yet.

Bill Kristol’s Butt Buddy David French Not Running For President, What A Shame

Who could have seen this coming and WHOA IF TRUE, but we must regretfully inform you that Bill Kristol was wrong about a thing.

Ben Shapiro Making Trouser Starbursts Over Sexy New Candidate David French (Who?)

Well, we guess Ben Shapiro, former lover of all things Breitbart, is one of the Renegade Jewishes now, officially, as he is drenching the front part of his bathing suit region with Embarrassment Stains over Bill Kristol's boy wonder independent...
It's only racist if it's about the guy on the top, according to wingnuts.

RedState Explains Racisting, How Does It Work?

The bucket of mental squirrel pellets known as wingnut intertubes site RedState has found somebody making racisms! No, it wasn't about President Obama. We're pretty sure they're still complaining about how the P.C. police won't let them hurl racial slurs in...
The rapper at rest

Ben Carson Hip Hip Hops And He Don’t Stop

It seems gravy shart Jonah Goldberg's Theory Of Ben Carson's Blackness has been proven wise beyond its author's wildest imagination! Yes, Ben Carson -- who according to hip-hop expert Goldberg is so much blacker than Barack Obama he cannot EVEN...
RNC Chair Reince Priebus

Republicans To Cancel NBC Debate Unless Candidates Get Reality Shows And BJs

It would appear that Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus has failed to read his Wonkette yet again. We sexplained Thursday that anybody who thinks the CNBC debate sucked because it was overtly biased against the candidates is A...
Oh look, it's the new face of terror: A bright 14-year old. But he's Muslim!!!!!!!!

Wingnuts Have Had It With That Muslim Teen Terrorist Ahmed Mohamed And His ‘Science’

Of course there's a backlash. Couldn't possibly have any story about a Muslim kid mistakenly accused of making a hoax bomb and then showered with love from fellow geeks, and have that be the end of it. Gotta gin...
Never been forcibly kissed

Ladies! National Review’s Rich Lowry Will Jam His Tongue Down Your Throat, For Freedom!

National Review editor Rich Lowry would just like everyone to calm down, because there is no problem with sexual assault on college campuses. In an appearance on ABC's This Week yesterday, he was just delighted to announce that, because...

Jonah Goldberg Has Thoughts About Hobby Lobby, And All Of Them Are Wrong And Dumb

We usually ignore Jonah Goldberg because sweet merciful Yehuda, life is just too short. But his column today on the Hobby Lobby decision is such a precious pile of stupid, we could not let it pass without comment. Also,...

Angry Gavin McInnes Has New Rules For Radicals About How All Liebruls Are Dumb, Not Just The Lady Ones

It's been a few weeks since we talked about Gavin McInnes, the Vice founder who is really working hard to reach peak MRA douchebag. We haven't been able to forget him because his Windsong stays on our mind and...

Which Men On Politichicks’ ‘Hottest Conservatives’ List Would Your Wonkette Do Sex On?

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of "Politichicks" have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles...

Jonah Goldberg: If The Kids Love Obama So Much, Let Them Sign Up For Obamacare

When yr Wonkette has an idea that doesn't pan out because a little thought or even some research reveals a fatal flaw in the premise, we spike the idea (or Editrix or Dok does it for us, coldly, like...

Fox News Is Losing the War On Analogies

Sean Hannity took to the Cablewaves to complain about the shocking, cruel, unkind analogy that Bob Schieffer used last week, where he outrageously compared one thing with other things, which is something that we as Americans should just not...