Wonkette

The batshit crazy Washington Times published a hilarious column from creepy actor Jon Voight yesterday, and we missed it, because who reads the fucking Moonie Times, right? Fortunately a tipster has sent us the article and good freaking lord: “The Democratic Party, in its quest for power, has managed a propaganda campaign with subliminal messages, creating a God-like figure in a man who falls short in every way. It seems to me that if Mr. Obama wins the presidential election, then Messrs. Farrakhan, Wright, Ayers and Pfleger will gain power for their need to demoralize this country and help create a socialist America.” Many trees were killed so that they could be soaked in this ink. MORE »

* Brain study of liberal Democrats in captivity discovers advanced development of the “bleeding heart lobe.” [Warst]
* Alberto Gonzales “secret hiring order” printed in all caps, SO HE WOULDN’T FORGET. [TPM Muckracker]
* Elizabeth Edwards sooo regrets not punching Jay Carney in the face last night. [Swampland]
* Jon Voight says America has broken the honorary 28th amendment and “forgotten about 9/11.” [Newsbusters]
* Rupert Murdoch plans to use awesome power for forces of good? [Grist]
* Hamas’ “Death to America” Mouse has his show canceled. [JPost]
* Is “Lou Dobbs the next Don Imus?” In our fucking dreams. [Stop the ACLU]

Drunken stumblebum Joe Lieberman gets caught in the March madness, Chris Matthews reminds us how much he loves titties, Howard Dean sustains the planet, and the arrows you see are provided by a Wonkette operative who proves once again that Nicolas Cage has never met a shitty fucking awesome movie he didn’t want to be in. So, sit back, chill out, and wait for Wonk’d, which is coming directly.

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• Under the Dome: Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.) is named the “hottest woman in U.S. politics” by Politics1.com. . . Sens. Mary Landrieu (D-La.) and David Vitter (R-La.) plug New Orleans during “The Price is Right”. . . Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) wants to cut tariffs on duties on “padded potty seats,” “traveler padded-potty seats,” and “contoured padded-infant potty seats.” [The Hill]

• Reliable Source: Bushes invite relatives of those who died on Flight 93 to White House screening of “United 93.” [WP]
• Rush & Molloy: Condoleezza Rice rooted for “American Idol” Taylor Hicks. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Jon Voight supports the war on terrorism: “This is a hideous, cunning, clever enemy who lives off a program of murderous thoughts.” [NYDN]