Wonkette

* Jack Cafferty thinks Alberto Gonzalez is a “weasel.” Don’t ask him what he thinks about Wolf. [C&L]
* Jon Kyl is going on a legislation-blocking rampage because he’s just so tired of “Walnuts, Walnuts, Walnuts” all the damn time. [TPM Muckraker]
* George “H-Dubs” Bush almost dies on the golf course — HuffPo commenters wish him well. [HuffPo]
* Michael Bloomberg wants to fuck up the 2008 election. [Captain's Quarters]
* So does Ron Paul. [Wizbang Politics]
* Dick Gephardt saves Bill Clinton’s ass, again. [Freakonomics]
* John McCain stink-palms himself. [CC Insider]

* Disapproval of Bush could drive a rejection of Republican candidates in November. GOP pollster: “Democrats will have an easier time of getting out their vote because of their intense disapproval of the president. That means we Republicans are going to have to bring our ‘A’ turnout game in November.” [WP]
* Rumsfeld’s “grip on the Defense Department is slipping as some uniformed officers increasingly chart their own course.” [W$J]
* Republicans back Rumsfeld on Sunday talk shows. [NYT, USAT]
* 48 American troops have died in Iraq so far this month. [USAT]
* If Roe were overturned, 22 states are likely to “impose significant new restrictions on abortion.” [USAT]
* Josh Bolten officially takes office today; he gave Andy Card an Egg McMuffin on his way out. [USAT]
* Time magazine names Sens. Thad Cochran, Kent Conrad, Dick Durbin, Ted Kennedy, Jon Kyl, Carl Levin, Richard Lugar, John McCain, Olympia Snowe, and Arlen Specter as the nation’s best; Sens. Daniel Akaka, Wayne Allard, Jim Bunning, Conrad Burns, and Mark Dayton considered the worst. [Time]
* Immigration rallies “have also energized those who support a crackdown on illegal immigration.” [NYT]
* Can Rep. Tom DeLay be a lobbyist next? [WP]
* Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) brings sadness to Washington state in an effort to take down Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.). [WP]
* Supreme Court justices spark laughter just from speaking funny. [USAT]

* Administration is underfunding democracy-building in Iraq; security costs receive an “enormous share” of funds as democracy and infrastructure goals are scaled down. [WP]
* Rep. Tom DeLay “set the terms of his departure” to ensure some dignity was not lost; he was “dispirited” and viewed his Republican primary challengers as “gadflies and traitors.” House ethics panel, meanwhile, will not investigate DeLay and other lawmakers. [WP, NYT, USAT, WSJ]
* Senate Appropriations Committee adds billions to hurricane relief package. [NYT]
* GAO criticizes bulk of Bush’s global AIDS initiative. [WP]
* John Snow said to be seriously mulling retirement; White House seeks successor. [NYT, WSJ]
* DeLay decision throws Texas political landscape into “electoral free-for-all.” [NYT, USAT]
* Democratic takeover of the Senate is deemed “distant” but “possible.” [USAT, LAT]

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Those guys on the Supreme Court — they’re old, yes. Some of them are very old, in fact. But despite that, you can’t fool them by just making shit up, Senators Kyl and Graham. So while your brief on Hamdan might look very much like it’s from Senate floor debate, well, there are cameras and things that will prove that it never happened. Even if you try really hard to make it convincing: MORE »

* Reliable Source:

• Military requests $3.9b to prepare Iraqi forces for a reduced American presence; Bush’s “strategy for victory” would rely on a “smaller, more lethal” American force. [NYT]
• Bush: “I want to defeat the terrorists, and I want our troops to come home, but I don’t want them to come home without having achieved victory. . . Quitting is not an exit strategy.” [WP]
• Administration vows to respond to E.U. questions concerning secret CIA prison locations in Europe. [WP]
• Republicans strongly denounce Rep. Randy Cunningham’s conduct in an effort to distance themselves from bribery scandal. [NYT, LAT]
• Businessman under investigation in Cunningham case supported 32 House members or candidates and raised over $100,000 for Bush’s re-election. [USAT, USAT]
• Bush continues promotion of his border security plan; raises $1.3m for Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) and $450,000 for Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO). [WP, NYT]
• R. Glenn Hubbard, the former chairman of Bush’s Council of Economic Advisers, calls the president’s Medicare plan “unwise”: “The current Social Security and Medicare systems are on an unsustainable path. . . The drug benefit is a new entitlement. This isn’t sustainable over the long haul and I don’t think it’s sustainable even over the next five years.” [WSJ]

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• Washington Whispers: Turns out many modern presidents don’t like the Oval Office. . . Springsteen for Senate? In Sen. Jon Corzine’s dream. . . “International incident” may result when the National Zoo must turn over panda Tai Shan to China in two years. . . Sen. Barbara Boxer: “If liberals read [my novel] and it makes them happy, then I consider it a success.” [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Bush’s trip to the southwest includes fundraising stops for Sen. Jon Kyl (R-AZ) and Rep. Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO). [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Jayson Blair on Judith Miller: “[A] lot of reporters there live by special rules. What scares people at The Times is how quickly you can switch from being a star to being vilified.” [NYDN]