Those of you who were wondering about the fate of Robert Novak, who was last seen on CNN in August as he stalked off the set in a primo Novakian snit-fit after maxing out his tolerance for James Carville, may wonder no longer. In a statement released a few minutes ago, CNN announced that Novak would be parting ways with the network on December 31. Jon Klein, adding to his long litany of idiotic statements, said, “Bob has also been a valued contributor to CNN’s political coverage.” MORE »

• WP politics editor John Harris: “For all its interesting and useful features, some things I don’t like about the on-line crankosphere are its frequent humorlessness and tendency to blow issues way out of proportion.” FUCK HIM!!!! BOYCOTT THE WASHINGTON POST AND ITS BUSH-TOTING TOADY COVERAGE!!! [WashingtonPost.com]
• Dial-a-bite Sabato gets a couplet comeuppance: “need a quote/do not tarry/call U-Va. and ask for Larry.” [WP]
• “JON KLEIN LIKES SHOWTUNES.” [FBNY]
• Please be gentle with Arianna. [Esquire]
• Tom Shales lights into the new Nightline’s faux gravitas: “‘Shorter shorts — a sign of the times?’ Probably not.” [WP]

I just read FishbowlDC’s account of a CNN fete, and I’m very, very impressed — which is probably the point. In any case, what awed me the most: “We had a nice chat with the bouyant and boyish Jon Klein at Teatro last night during CNN’s fantastic holiday party.” MORE »

• Lack of bias for thee but not for me: Washington Times reporter (and Christian) Bill Sammon believes “Most stories…have a moral dimension, and ignoring that dimension misrepresents the news.” [Christian Examiner via Romenesko]
• CNN lost viewers under Jon Klein. You know what this means: MORE COOPER. [TVNewser]
• ABC-purchased Grand Theft Auto changes Jake Tapper’s life, providing street cred and razor sharp instincts to hide when the scent of pigs is in the air. [Down and Dirty via FishbowlDC]
• NBC names new news division prez… and they’re going to look into this whole “news on the web” thing. Also CBS Evening News gets a producer. Is that still on? [NYT, AP]
• Bizarre disappearing John Huey mugs. [Gawker]

At 11:04:45 AM ET Monday CNN was airing Vice President Dick Cheney’s speech live from the American Enterprise Institute in Washington — when a large black ‘X’ repeatedly flashed over the vice president’s face! The ‘X’ over Cheney’s face appeared each time less than a second, creating an odd subliminal effect.

We applaud Drudge’s vigilance in tracking down the latest in liberal media propaganda: Who needs Mary Mapes when you have typography, right? And what better way to mark the anniversary of John Kennedy’s assassination than by developing your own crackpot conspiracy theories? Hurry: Someone needs to compare this “X” to the ones on the 1972 Selectric! Clearly, the flashing X was intended to incite seizures among neocon viewers. Unless it was a subliminal message that Cheney’s speech should be censored. Or perhaps a subliminal message that Cheney should have a big X on his forehead. Then again, Jon Klein might have just fallen asleep at the keyboard again. MORE »

• Andrew Sullivan to blog for Time. Welcome to 2003, Time! [NY Post]
• Jon Klein continues to explain how he will drive CNN into the ground then dance on its handsome, tiny grave. [TVNewser]
• Men: perhaps unnecessary. Friends? Totally: “my witty friend Frank Bruni, the New York Times restaurant critic”; “my friend Leon Wieseltier”; “the current Cosmo editor, my friend Kate White”; “my late friend Art Cooper, the editor of GQ for 20 years”; “my pal Craig Bierko”… [NYTBR]
• WH bitchslaps WP. You know when you’re in trouble? When you’re on the defensive. [FishbowlDC]
• NYT public editor just lies back and takes it from Judy Miller. [Gawker]
• Radosh plays a tiny violin for Mary Mapes: “Mapes [has a] concern about people staking out her house to take pictures of her, digging up information about her from public documents, and interviewing her former colleagues. Have I mentioned that Mapes worked for 60 Minutes?” [Radosh.net]

Talk of a “Cooper d’etat” at CNN has media mavens buzzing. It’s certainly more entertaining than anything actually on the network. Fred Beck agrees.

Dear Wonky-Tonky,
 
Could there possibly be a better reality show than the constant crashing series of car wrecks brought to us by CNN/U.S. President Jon Klein? Who could make you love Aaron Brown? Jon Klein! It’s not just the bad programming Klein endorses that make me want to feed him peat moss. His public comments are so creepy, his self- assurance so supremely misguided and his praise so residue spreading I need handiwipes whenever I read about him.
 
Anderson Cooper is the anti “anchor” Klein tells us. And I tell people I’m humble all the time. Really I am. There are just some compliments that are meant to be said by other people. Klein’s frantic wake-up calls to every media writer about Cooper’s star quality are going to initiate restraining orders. All that heavy breathing.

Fred’s thoughts continue after the jump.

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We hear now that CNN is going to an all Wolf Blitzer/Anderson Cooper format, brazenly kissing goodbye all those “Just for Men” ad dollars and securing their niche as the network whose programming can be determined by a coin toss. Despite Blitzer’s superhuman ability to remain on air 25 hours a day, net head Jon Klein likes Anderson best. Why? Because his Katrina coverage showed he’s “got that magical something.” Insert “well, he is a little fairy” joke here. Klein also said that Cooper’s “name has been on the tip of everyone’s tongue” and that “America is embracing Anderson Cooper.” Added Klein: “We want to expose Anderson and Wolf to more people.” Whoa, Jon, save that talk for when you’re running Cinemax, eh? MORE »

The Daily Briefing is on vacation. MORE »