Tag: jon huntsman

‘Twas the Night Before Iowa … (A Visit From St. Reagan)

'Twas the night before Iowa, when all through the state, The wingnuts were fuming, their heads fat with hate. The caucus was planned, in just over a week, Yet the GOP candidates were unelectable freaks! The reporters were nestled in bedbug motels. Their noses...

Liveblogging The ‘We All Hate Herman Cain Now’ GOP Debate

OH JOY let us all gather round our dusty 'puter screens with our booze supplies, since the Homeland Security Department decided to half-assedly nuke America's television sets (not that we even own one these days), so that we may...

Jon Huntsman’s Daughters Provide Reason To Think About Jon Huntsman

Oh, is America's only Communist Republican Jon Huntsman "still campaigning?" Yes, according to his last three remaining supporters, his daughters. Here they are costumed variously as John Bolton and Groucho Marx, to poke fun at Herman Cain's super shady...

Liveblogging the ‘Oh Let’s Pretend We Like Herman Cain’ GOP Debate PART II

ARE WE ARE AT WAR, ALREADY?  Here is the JESUS WEEN, watching Herman Cain and Rick Perry preside over the flogging of Jesus-hater Nazi Pope common-sense rapist Mitt Romney while he sobs over the corpse of a spider, who...

Jon Huntsman Risks Deportation After Suggesting Rich Pay Taxes

Look, Jon Huntsman isn't going to win anything, ever again. He is a dull half-smart technocrat who believes in the Wrong Jesus and Evolution and seems to think Kenyan golf star Barack Obama is legally the president of AmeriKKKa....

Jon Huntsman Surprised By GOP Candidates All Being Insane Idiots

Barack Obama's Republican ambassador to China, Jon Huntsman, would like to continue the Bush-Obama presidencies by becoming president in 2012. But that requires running as the GOP's Republican, since the Democrats already have one who is also the incumbent,...

Liveblogging the Ames GOP Presidential Devil Clown Anger Match

Is everyone clutching a bottle of Advil in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other? Does it matter which hand is holding which? NO! Tonight we will watch all 83 GOP presidential candidates stand together on...

Jon Huntsman: D&D Nerd Who Played Keyboards In Band Called ‘Wizard’

We have an old stoner uncle who also used to play in a "prog rock" band back in the hazy Kodachrome 1970s, so we're not sure how unique this might be, but potential GOP presidential candidate and Obama appointee...

Possible Glamorous Daughter of GOP Candidate Discovered

Because presidential campaigns are such sausage-fests and political wives are usually pill zombies with frozen smiles, the Washington media must always find some haughty, semi-glamorous and/or drunken daughter of a candidate to find reasons to write about. Whether it's...

U.S. Was Prepared To Fight Pakistan In Getting Bin Laden

Here's some good news for ally relations: If Pakistan had noticed the U.S. troops entering Pakistan airspace to take out bin Laden in time and opened fire on them, as they likely would have, the U.S. was prepared to...

Huntsman Still Running For President, Making Romney Look Like Teabagger

Former Utah governor and current Ambassador to China Jon Huntsman is going to run for the Republican nomination for president, just as he always has been, basically. He will wait until this spring, because like every potential GOP presidential...

Nevada Prefers The Mere Idea Of Not-Harry Reid To Harry Reid

The Internet, as personified by a Utah State Rep., briefly suggested that Jon Huntsman's ambassadorship means that Huntsman will be in a prime position from which to convert all of China to Mormonism, and probably Republicanism! With 18 months...