jon huntsman
Hot Blog Rumor: Maybe One of Those Huntsman Boys Gabbed To Harry Reid About Romney’s Taxes
The Internet is rapidly zeroing in on the identity of Harry Reid’s source, the one who was like “oh yeah Harry, that guy, Romney, no taxes from that guy,” which Harry Reid reiterated on the Senate floor, destroying any semblance of what had previously been a sense of good faith and comity between the two [...]
To Which Television Job Is This Latest Vapid Political Daughter Entitled?
Abby Huntsman is the 26-year-old daughter of Utah owner and 94th-place finisher in the 2012 Republican primaries, Jon Huntsman. She made a couple of wacky YouTubes with her two sisters (“hehe, look at how funny we are, we’re so crazy, aren’t we precious?”) before her father lost, in shame. And now, what’s this, she wants [...]
Americans Elect Going The Way Of MySpace, Barack Obama Currently In Fourth Place
Americans Elect, the organization that tried to get America to nominate a centrist third-party candidate using the futuristic World Wide Web, has basically admitted defeat. Yes, in America, an idiot can become president, but a well-meaning yet mysterious group of people who took the time to actually get on the ballot in 27 states cannot [...]
Obama Attempts to Win Back America With Tiny Musical Moment
Thursday night at a fundraiser in Harlem, Obama was having a way better time than the Republican candidates, and at one point broke into song, honoring Reverend Al Green, who was at the event. Obama sang “Let’s Stay Together” (indeed) for about six seconds, in the middle looking down at the podium for a reflective [...]
Huntsman Daughters Interview Romney Bobblehead in Lost Video
Huntsman daughters Abby, Liddy and Mary Anne had a couple of great videos during their dad’s mercurial campaign. They were the only entertaining part — besides, maybe, “Did you hear what I just said?” — of the whole thing. But their best work was never actually released…until now! An ABC News station got a hold [...]
Perry Dropping Out to Play More Scrabble With Huntsman
Rick Perry is finally dropping out of the Republican race Thursday, and will endorse Newt Gingrich because it’s just more fun that way. He will now return in shame to Texas to command-in-chief his Burundi-sized army and obsessively read over all his old emails to Jesus for clues about why Jesus dumped him and maybe [...]
Gay Republicans — OPENLY Gay, We Mean — Very Pleased With Romney/Paul/Huntsman Three-Way
While being an openly gay Republican seems about as sane as carrying a nail-studded two-by-four around so you can mutilate yourself on the half-hour, the “Log Cabin Republicans” continue to be an actual thing. And they have put out a statement about tonight’s exciting New Hampshire primary results. They’re quite pleased with the results! “By [...]
So Mitt Romney Won New Hampshire, Let’s Hang Out
Mitt Crazy Eyes/9000/My Twinn Doll Romney has been declared the winner of the New Hampshire primary, seizing 37.3 percent of the vote, according to AP, with 43 percent of precincts reporting as of the time that this post was delivered to the Internet. Ron Paul is second with 23.4 percent, and Jon Huntsman scurried up [...]
Could Huntsmania Actually Have an Impact in New Hampshire?
As of two hours ago, the fickle folk of the Granite State have begun voting in the first-in-the-nation primary. Last night, the registered voting population of the petite hamlet of Dixville Notch launched the primary season with their weird tradition of voting 11 hours before everybody else. Nine people showed up. Due to History and [...]
Thanks For Ruining Our Weekend, GOP! Liveblogging Debate #666
Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let’s hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex. Mitt Romney, known as “the guy who is really spending a lot of money to be [...]
Paultards Hate Huntsman for Knowing Chinese, Adopting Foreigners
The New Hampshire contingent of Paultards is stooping to core-of-the-earth lows today with a new ad featuring Napster-era audio quality, proof alone that the ad was definitely not made by Paul’s official moneybags campaign, but the freaks on the fringe of the fringe, who are still learning how to use a computer. In the ad, [...]
Jon Huntsman Donating To Himself For a Few Days
Republican fringe-moderate candidate Jon Huntsman sent out an e-mail to supporters the other day announcing that he would match any donations received until midnight on January 4, that being the first day of the rest our lives following tonight’s roll in the Iowa hay. While perfectly legal — there’s no limit to the amount of [...]
‘Twas the Night Before Iowa … (A Visit From St. Reagan)
‘Twas the night before Iowa, when all through the state, The wingnuts were fuming, their heads fat with hate. The caucus was planned, in just over a week, Yet the GOP candidates were unelectable freaks! The reporters were nestled in bedbug motels. Their noses recoiling from strange Iowa smells, Of corn syrup fields, and thick [...]
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