This is Cenk Uygur from ‘The Young Turks,’ Air America’s morning show. He is suing Stephen Colbert for $65 million, just like the pants guy, for stealing a joke about Klingons. You can see both jokes in the clip. Of course, we’re bloggers, so we steal all of our material, but apparently standards are different for basic cable and niche radio people. Still, you can sue for a “stolen” joke? Milton Berle is shaking in his boots while rolling in his grave. After the jump, a fun assignment! MORE »

Reached inside his oxygen tent and told that his “bomb Iran” song met with only scattered applause, John McCain takes his best drunk-uncle-at-a-wedding swing at his critics.

“Please, I was talking to some of my old veterans friends,” he told reporters. “My response is, Lighten up and get a life.” MORE »

George W. read some jokes at the “Alfalfa Club” dinner on Saturday, and it really shows he can laugh at the smoking ruins of the nation he destroyed and the monsters he set loose upon the Earth. Some of his comedy gold, courtesy of the WaPo: MORE »

Because you people think it’s funny, here are the grim jokes that bring healing laughter to Washington: MORE »

We were going to go to the Gridiron Dinner, but it was such a nice night out, we decided to give it a miss and drink on a rooftop instead. Oh, and it turns out bloggers aren’t invited. But we don’t feel too slighted to have missed the dinner, a glorified office Christmas party in which every year they rouse the surviving members of Carson’s writing staff and put them to work retrofitting hundred-year-old punchlines with torn-from-the-headlines topical references. MORE »

According to Time, Congress has its own psychiatrist. Now before you leap to punchlines, note that someone’s beaten you to it: MORE »

See, this is why we don’t let well-meaning liberals read The Note. It just upsets them: MORE »

More fun with The Note! Today’s their wacky quiz, in which all the answers, hilariously, are Zero! After a couple pointed barbs at cable television: MORE »

• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Karl Rove has been suffering with kidney stones for weeks. . . Terry McAuliffe is writing a memoir. [NYDN]
• Names & Faces: Paul Wolfowitz, Queen Noor, Karl Rove join the Bush family on Washington’s “most invited” list. [WP]
• Page Six: Scenes from the Christopher Hitchens-George Galloway debate. Galloway: “What you have witnessed is a phenomenon, the first metamorphosis in natural history of a butterfly back into a slug… and the one thing a slug leaves behind it is a trail of slime.”. . . Joke circulating on the internet: “Q: What is George W. Bush’s position on Roe vs. Wade? A: He really doesn’t care how people get out of New Orleans.”. . . Bill Maher: “Michael Brown, the head of FEMA has been relieved of his command. He has been asked to return to Washington immediately. He is expected to arrive in about a week.” [NYP, NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Tony Blair and posse dined at SoHo House in New York. [NYDN]