jokes
Washington Free Beacon Super Squicked Out By Stinky Girls
This morning, Obama campaign spokeswoman Jen Psaki was on MSNBC (obviously, what with all the socialisms). Remarking how busy the campaign was, she said that she’d just gotten off the campaign and been able to shower for the first time in two days. …Wait for it…wait for it… The Washington Free Beacon decided to go [...]
Catholic League Declares Itself To Have Broken Jon Stewart’s Spirit
Jon Stewart performed two sold-out nights in Florida over the weekend, and the Catholic League is ALL OVER IT. Jon Stewart making Florida laugh while making fun of Florida was enough to set off a torrent of Jon Stewart Google alerts in the Catholic League’s inbox, and the organization was the thrilled to find that [...]
FLOTUS Body Double Parties With Britney Spears, Probably On U.S. Dime
Yawn, there goes Michelle Obama again, partying in Europe with a bunch of celebrities when she is supposed to be doing her job (locking Malia in her room until she eats her broccoli). This time, our FLOTUS is not even trying to mask her frivolous night out as “official business,” shamelessly eating at an Indian [...]
Joe Biden Smooths China Relations With Joke About How They Own U.S.
The White House sent official court jester Joe Biden for a visit with U.S. corporate parent company China to do a little self-deprecating diplomacy dance routine for China’s annoyed rulers to convince them the wayward middle management in Congress won’t sink their investments. Richard Nixon used to just be able to mail a few ping-pong [...]
New Osama Bin Laden Details For a Hungry Media
The past few days, the media have engorged themselves on a litany of little details about Osama bin Laden’s living conditions at the time of his death. But today, they’ve seen to hit a wall. Look, government officials, it’s not like they’re going to look into the veracity of whatever you give them, just throw [...]
Supreme Court Just an Institutionalized Zinger Contest
Other ways in which Scalia is exactly like that irritating uncle of yours: Chief Justice Roberts has a light, witty touch, while the laughter that follows a long hypothetical question from Justice Breyer can feel like an expression of relief. Justice Scalia, by contrast, will repeat jokes mercilessly, raising questions about whether he has artificially [...]
Good Ol’ Boy Bush Joking About Iraq War Quagmire Again
Haha, that whole audience of people who didn’t have to shoot or be shot by Iraqi insurgents for years on end thinks this is a very funny joke! But, of course, the thing is that Bush did have an exit strategy when he tried to leave that event in China. The strategy just didn’t work. [...]
Michelle Malkin Decries Scourge of Librul Comediennes Saying She Has Testes
Remember Michelle Malkin? Apparently Aisha Tyler does, because she mentioned on a radio show that she would like to kick Malkin “right in the nuts if I met her.” Michelle Malkin has seen this, has gasped and hyperventilated in horror, and does not like these funny librul ladies mocking her “sexuality,” which is apparently what [...]
Gettin’ Snarky With Ed Markey, America’s Ice-Chunk Comedian
Wheatgrassachusetts Congressman Ed Markey (no relation to Biz Markie) took to his MarkeyMemo to make a little joke about the big piece of ice that broke off the Petermann Glacier in northern Greenland, and what his global warmth-denying frenemies can do, thank you very much.
Ben Nelson Is Funnier Than Even The Funniest Black Comedians
You commies are always so upset with terrible Sen. Ben Nelson that you miss the whole friggin’ point of his existence: Ben Nelson shits humor. Think of the two funniest things ever, now. That’s right: Ben Nelson was the comedian behind both the knock-knock construction and the JFK assassination! And as the Washington Post tells [...]
AL FRANKEN WANTS TO STOP THE TEEVEE: “I came to Washington to stand up to the lopsided influence of special interests on behalf of middle class Minnesota families, and opposing this merger is an opportunity to do just that. And as much as I don’t trust Comcast and NBC to be honest brokers on this [...]
blog advertising is good for you
