By the Comics Curmudgeon
So did you hear that Rod Blagojevich, America’s noblest, most sexually potent governor, was removed from office yesterday, because of racism, or maybe jealousy over said sexual potency? Everyone loved Blago — minorities, poor people, what have you — but nobody loved the lovable lug more than America’s political cartoonists. Why was that? Was it his noble struggle against impossible odds, which reminded them of themselves? Was it his transparent scumbaggery, which allowed for a disdainful bipartisan free-for-all? Was it the hair? It was probably the hair. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Now that President Obama is at last really the President, we here in the satirical-media community must immediately drop our oppositional attitude to those holding political power in this country and work as hard as we can to become their lapdogs. (The one exception is Mallard Fillmore.) Your Comics Curmudgeon has been looking for a way that he can take on this important task. It occurs to me that now that Obama is busy socializing the crumbling remains of American industry and forming a military alliance with Hamas, he’s probably too busy to update his famous Fight The Smears site, so maybe I should go ahead and start fighting all the NEW smears that have started up now that he’s president! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Being a political cartoonist has got to be kind of rough. They’re all getting fired as newspapers downsize, and those that still manage to have a job drawing cartoons, for money, inevitably make political points that alienate at least half of their readers. So you’d think that they might find it enraging that some asshole on the Internet has a whole weekly venue just to make fun of their work, despite the fact that said asshole has no artistic talent himself whatsoever? And yet sometimes these sad souls actually send us their own cartoons, in hope of us mocking them! After the jump, it’s a very special Cartoon Violence, starring the vilest cartoon you can possibly imagine. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Remember a couple of months ago, when everything was all Hope this and Change that and Yes We Can whatever, and you thought that everything was going to be all sweetness and light from here on in? FOOLS! Little did you know that the nightmare would just go on, forever and ever, like a never-ending mescaline trip. Brace yourselves for the horror show that launches 2009, with waves of human-animal hybrids and Dick Cheney’s bosoms! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the far-off futuristic year 2009! Though the rapidly aging 21st century has repeatedly failed to deliver on its promises — flying cars, domed cities on the moon and ocean floor, universal peace supervised by a one-world government, shiny jumpsuit-based couture, sex robots — we still begin each new year with a big dose of Hope! Except this one, obviously, because we’re all fucked. So, in our grand tradition of doing Christmas-themed Cartoon Violences a day after Christmas, enjoy this January 2nd meditation on how the new year will kill us all. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hey, everybody, have you heard about the economies? Of course, your Wonkette staffers spend their days luxuriating in the well-appointed, mahogany-trimmed, Campbell Brown-subsidized Wonkette HQ, but we are given to understand that things in the outside world aren’t going so great, money-wise! In fact, this li’l economic downturn has even affected Christmas, a holy day of religious significance that nobody has ever previously connected to the vulgar machinations of commerce in any way. Cartoonists show you how bad it’s gotten, after the jump. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hey, everybody, did you hear about what happened in Iraq this week? Obviously, I’m not talking about the carnage and the death, because the “surge” is “working” and the daily levels of terrible violence there have subsided to a point that is only a dozen times worse than anything any American civilian has ever experienced, instead of a million times worse. No, I’m talking about that Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at our beloved lame duck president! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Let’s just get it out there: Rod “Blago” Blagojevich has awesome hair. Sure, it may be a sign of some crippling psychological disorder, but it’s a symbol of Rod “The Blag Man” Blagojevich’s virility and stature, and we all have to respect it. Rod “Blagger Of The Year” Blagojevich dreamed of bringing his hair onto the national stage someday so that all of America could enjoy it. And that fond wish of his has now been fulfilled, though he probably had hopes that it would appear on front pages across America in photographs, not courtroom drawings. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hello, everyone! Did you miss Cartoon Violence, last Friday, when you were reading the Internets when you should have been celebrating the day after Thanksgiving by crushing innocent Wal-Mart temp workers to death? You were no doubt alone in the house as you sat in front of your computer screen, your Cheeto-stained fingers typing out the addresses of various porn sites, so you were probably naked. Because this week is a “work week” (for those of you who still have jobs), you’re probably not naked now. But guess who is naked! That’s right: various persons in cartoons! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Ahh, what’s that smell? Now that the election is over and there’s a brief respite from the never-ending stream of bullshit, we can catch a whiff of sweet romance! They don’t call the period after a new president’s election a “honeymoon” for nothing. Let’s enjoy this brief window of love-addled happiness before the hellscape re-engulfs us with these fine romantic cartoons. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
You know who we miss already, even though he’s not technically “gone” yet? Our President, George W. Bush! He was fun to draw and always getting into hilarious scrapes — like choking on a pretzel, remember that! And he liked to dance around for our amusement! With that kind of entertainment value, what’s a war crime or two between friends? Join us for a nostalgia-laden trip through the final days. MORE »