By the Comics Curmudgeon
Ah, the good ol’ days! They were much better than our current existence, did you know that? Like, it was illegal for the President to be a Socialist! And also, people didn’t just filibuster things all the time, because they knew it was a douchebag move, so they saved it for really important stuff, like stopping black people from voting! Anyway, more and more Americans — and by “Americans” we mean “political cartoonists” — are looking back on the old days with fond memories, or perhaps memories of sheer unmitigated horror. It can be hard to tell! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
So obviously, living in America today is one long roller-coaster ride of joy and despair and rage, because of the Depression and the Politics. And so our political cartoons reflect this our discordant reality. Why should we expect sanity and levelheadedness in newsprint when we cannot find it life? Join us on an ink-stained journey into the heart of darkness, as the cross-hatched drawings scrawled out furiously in some dank, half-empty newsroom reveal the terrifying secrets that lie within America’s heart. MORE »

By the Comics CurmudgeonWhat is the single most important event to have occurred in recent U.S. political history? If you said “the election of our first black president” or “the financial crisis and the associated large-scale government intervention in the financial markets” or “the various wars” you would be WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. No, the watershed moment in our current political life came earlier this week, when a bunch of jackasses protested a tax increase that won’t happen for years and will happen to other people when it does by aimlessly waving teabags at their elected representatives, or, when those representatives could not be located, at baffled passersby. Did any of America’s unrepentantly liberal elitist political cartoonists dare to draw cartoons that presented these so-called “teabaggers” as the heroes that they are, or at least acknowledge their existence? MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE THOSE GAY LIBERALS DONE NOW? They have taken Iowa, possibly our least gay state, and gayed it all up, with the gay marrying, and … such! One sign of the state’s previous extreme heterosexuality was Grant Wood’s famous painting, American Gothic! Boy, that sure is a symbol of traditional middle American values that everyone can easily recognize! But what if some puckish artist — or a series of puckish artists — were to make it … gayer? MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
If you asked the average American in olden times (1960) what glories would await them, auto-wise, in the Mysterious Future Year of 2009, they would be all like “flying cars” and “nuclear-powered cars” and “cars operated by intelligent ro-bots.” They certainly would not say “cars made in Japan, because American automakers have entered creative, moral, and actual bankruptcy (in that order).” MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Well, if Prince is singing about AIG or something, then the recession must officially be sexy! It all makes sense, really: most pastimes Americans have up to this point enjoyed involve spending gobs of money ultimately derived from home equity lines of credit — with the sexy exception of sex, which is often “free,” and can take place in foreclosed condos and hobo shantytowns. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Ha ha, another week gone, another week in which our economy and the posh lifestyle it has afforded us continues to circle the drain, leading us inevitably towards despair! This has of course led to much finger-pointing, recrimination, etc. Should Tim Geithner be in charge of the Treasury? Should the entire class of jackholes who ran the financial services industry for the last decade be purged? And if so, who should we replace them with? Oh, sure, you liberals will be all like “Trained government bureaucrats!” But is that really “outside the box” enough for our current predicament? What if instead we turned to the animal kingdom? They could do all the work, while we relaxed and lived like kings! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Once every a generation or so, it’s important that our comfortable lives are shaken up, so that we can take stock and figure out what’s really important. Sure, economic disruptions are painful, but they can also herald a return to self-reliance and old-fashioned, time-tested values. Unfortunately, our current economic crisis passed that point weeks ago, so now you’re sort of just rubbing it in, Cold Dead Hand of Adam Smith. We promise to stop with the credit cards and the adjustable rate mortgages, OK? Just give us our fucking 401Ks back. Sadly, it appears that our political leaders will be forced to take truly drastic steps to stop our planet from being transformed into a vast hobo jungle. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Remember back in the good old days, when our leaders were generally believed to walk on two legs, to not be covered with viscous mucus, and to have been born from human women in the normal way? Now, of course, we are less naive, and know that our entire political class is composed entirely of the worst kind of soul-dead devils from below Hell. The shock of this revelation has long worn off, though, and now the most awful sort of flesh-eating monster completely fails to faze your average American, so long as it’s in elected office. Let’s go on a tour of the boring bestiary, shall we? MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
DAMN YOU, CRUEL FATE! The greatest cartoon-related controversy since a bunch of pissed-off dudes in Pakistan burned down a KFC to protest the marriage of Elizabeth to Anthony in For Better Or For Worse, the Great Obama-As-A-Dead-Monkey Contretemps Of Ought-Nine, has come and gone before your Comics Curmudgeon could get hold of it! And apparently the cartoonist also loves to portray the gays as mincing about with a toe stuck up just so, and also fucking sheep! I have to say that all the other, lesser cartoons sure looked bland this week by comparison. So today we’re going to play a little game called Could This Cartoon Be Improved With A Racist Monkey Or Mincing Gay? MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
The economy’s in the crapper! Tim Geithner cannot and will not save us! The stimulus is not stimulating enough, or is too stimulating, or something! Judd Gregg and Barack Obama are getting a divorce! It is absolutely true that everything in the world is worse than it ever has been before at any time in history, or ever will be again. Can we find solace in funny cartoons? Sadly, we cannot, because they are also bad. Come, let us endure the unendurable, together. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hey, how’s what’s-his-name doing, you know, the Muslim fellow? President Whosit? I guess there’s some sort of stimulus thingie he’s dealing with right now, and some tax-related dealies with the people he’s trying to hire? Whatever, what we really want to know is: is he sexing our nation’s capital up with all the sexy sexy sex? According to the media and its political cartoonists, the answer is a very sexy yes! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
So did you hear that Rod Blagojevich, America’s noblest, most sexually potent governor, was removed from office yesterday, because of racism, or maybe jealousy over said sexual potency? Everyone loved Blago — minorities, poor people, what have you — but nobody loved the lovable lug more than America’s political cartoonists. Why was that? Was it his noble struggle against impossible odds, which reminded them of themselves? Was it his transparent scumbaggery, which allowed for a disdainful bipartisan free-for-all? Was it the hair? It was probably the hair. MORE »