Tag Archives: joke and dagger dept.

  cartoon violence

A Series Of (Almost) Teabagging-Free Cartoons

By the Comics CurmudgeonWhat is the single most important event to have occurred in recent U.S. political history? If you said “the election of our first black president” or “the financial crisis and the associated large-scale government intervention in the financial markets” or “the various wars” you would be WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. No, the watershed moment in our current political life came earlier this week, when a bunch of jackasses protested a tax increase that won’t happen for years and will happen to other people when it does by aimlessly waving teabags at their elected representatives, or, when those representatives could not be located, at baffled passersby. Did any of America’s unrepentantly liberal elitist political cartoonists dare to draw cartoons that presented these so-called “teabaggers” as the heroes that they are, or at least acknowledge their existence? Read more on A Series Of (Almost) Teabagging-Free Cartoons…
  cartoon violence

Grant Wood’s Body Lies A-Mouldering In The Grave

By the Comics Curmudgeon OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE THOSE GAY LIBERALS DONE NOW? They have taken Iowa, possibly our least gay state, and gayed it all up, with the gay marrying, and … such! One sign of the state’s previous extreme heterosexuality was Grant Wood’s famous painting, American Gothic! Boy, that sure is a symbol of traditional middle American values that everyone can easily recognize! But what if some puckish artist — or a series of puckish artists — were to make it … gayer? Read more on Grant Wood’s Body Lies A-Mouldering In The Grave…
  cartoon violence

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Cartoons About the Auto Industry

By the Comics CurmudgeonIf you asked the average American in olden times (1960) what glories would await them, auto-wise, in the Mysterious Future Year of 2009, they would be all like “flying cars” and “nuclear-powered cars” and “cars operated by intelligent ro-bots.” They certainly would not say “cars made in Japan, because American automakers have entered creative, moral, and actual bankruptcy (in that order).” Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Cartoons About the Auto Industry…
  cartoon violence

Recession Time Is Sexytime!

By the Comics CurmudgeonWell, if Prince is singing about AIG or something, then the recession must officially be sexy! It all makes sense, really: most pastimes Americans have up to this point enjoyed involve spending gobs of money ultimately derived from home equity lines of credit — with the sexy exception of sex, which is often “free,” and can take place in foreclosed condos and hobo shantytowns. Read more on Recession Time Is Sexytime!…
  cartoon violence

And We Shall Give Ourselves Over To The Beasts

By the Comics CurmudgeonHa ha, another week gone, another week in which our economy and the posh lifestyle it has afforded us continues to circle the drain, leading us inevitably towards despair! This has of course led to much finger-pointing, recrimination, etc. Should Tim Geithner be in charge of the Treasury? Should the entire class of jackholes who ran the financial services industry for the last decade be purged? And if so, who should we replace them with? Oh, sure, you liberals will be all like “Trained government bureaucrats!” But is that really “outside the box” enough for our current predicament? What if instead we turned to the animal kingdom? They could do all the work, while we relaxed and lived like kings! Read more on And We Shall Give Ourselves Over To The Beasts…
  cartoon violence

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

By the Comics CurmudgeonOnce every a generation or so, it’s important that our comfortable lives are shaken up, so that we can take stock and figure out what’s really important. Sure, economic disruptions are painful, but they can also herald a return to self-reliance and old-fashioned, time-tested values. Unfortunately, our current economic crisis passed that point weeks ago, so now you’re sort of just rubbing it in, Cold Dead Hand of Adam Smith. We promise to stop with the credit cards and the adjustable rate mortgages, OK? Just give us our fucking 401Ks back. Sadly, it appears that our political leaders will be forced to take truly drastic steps to stop our planet from being transformed into a vast hobo jungle. Read more on Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures…
  cartoon violence

Another Week, Another Batch Of Terrifying Demon-Things

By the Comics CurmudgeonRemember back in the good old days, when our leaders were generally believed to walk on two legs, to not be covered with viscous mucus, and to have been born from human women in the normal way? Now, of course, we are less naive, and know that our entire political class is composed entirely of the worst kind of soul-dead devils from below Hell. The shock of this revelation has long worn off, though, and now the most awful sort of flesh-eating monster completely fails to faze your average American, so long as it’s in elected office. Let’s go on a tour of the boring bestiary, shall we? Read more on Another Week, Another Batch Of Terrifying Demon-Things…
  cartoon violence

Bring Me The Head Of Tom Daschle

By the Comics CurmudgeonDAMN YOU, CRUEL FATE! The greatest cartoon-related controversy since a bunch of pissed-off dudes in Pakistan burned down a KFC to protest the marriage of Elizabeth to Anthony in For Better Or For Worse, the Great Obama-As-A-Dead-Monkey Contretemps Of Ought-Nine, has come and gone before your Comics Curmudgeon could get hold of it! And apparently the cartoonist also loves to portray the gays as mincing about with a toe stuck up just so, and also fucking sheep! I have to say that all the other, lesser cartoons sure looked bland this week by comparison. So today we’re going to play a little game called Could This Cartoon Be Improved With A Racist Monkey Or Mincing Gay? Read more on Bring Me The Head Of Tom Daschle…
  cartoon violence

Everything Is Bad

By the Comics CurmudgeonThe economy’s in the crapper! Tim Geithner cannot and will not save us! The stimulus is not stimulating enough, or is too stimulating, or something! Judd Gregg and Barack Obama are getting a divorce! It is absolutely true that everything in the world is worse than it ever has been before at any time in history, or ever will be again. Can we find solace in funny cartoons? Sadly, we cannot, because they are also bad. Come, let us endure the unendurable, together. Read more on Everything Is Bad…
  cartoon violence

Barry Brings Sexy Back To DC!

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, how’s what’s-his-name doing, you know, the Muslim fellow? President Whosit? I guess there’s some sort of stimulus thingie he’s dealing with right now, and some tax-related dealies with the people he’s trying to hire? Whatever, what we really want to know is: is he sexing our nation’s capital up with all the sexy sexy sex? According to the media and its political cartoonists, the answer is a very sexy yes! Read more on Barry Brings Sexy Back To DC!…
  cartoon violence

Good-bye, America’s Sweetheart!

By the Comics CurmudgeonSo did you hear that Rod Blagojevich, America’s noblest, most sexually potent governor, was removed from office yesterday, because of racism, or maybe jealousy over said sexual potency? Everyone loved Blago — minorities, poor people, what have you — but nobody loved the lovable lug more than America’s political cartoonists. Why was that? Was it his noble struggle against impossible odds, which reminded them of themselves? Was it his transparent scumbaggery, which allowed for a disdainful bipartisan free-for-all? Was it the hair? It was probably the hair. Read more on Good-bye, America’s Sweetheart!…
  cartoon violence

We Fight The Smears So Barry Doesn’t Have To

By the Comics CurmudgeonNow that President Obama is at last really the President, we here in the satirical-media community must immediately drop our oppositional attitude to those holding political power in this country and work as hard as we can to become their lapdogs. (The one exception is Mallard Fillmore.) Your Comics Curmudgeon has been looking for a way that he can take on this important task. It occurs to me that now that Obama is busy socializing the crumbling remains of American industry and forming a military alliance with Hamas, he’s probably too busy to update his famous Fight The Smears site, so maybe I should go ahead and start fighting all the NEW smears that have started up now that he’s president! Read more on We Fight The Smears So Barry Doesn’t Have To…
  cartoon violence

Cartoon Violence Is Some Kind Of Cartoon Dominatrix-For-Hire Now, Apparently?

By the Comics CurmudgeonBeing a political cartoonist has got to be kind of rough. They’re all getting fired as newspapers downsize, and those that still manage to have a job drawing cartoons, for money, inevitably make political points that alienate at least half of their readers. So you’d think that they might find it enraging that some asshole on the Internet has a whole weekly venue just to make fun of their work, despite the fact that said asshole has no artistic talent himself whatsoever? And yet sometimes these sad souls actually send us their own cartoons, in hope of us mocking them! After the jump, it’s a very special Cartoon Violence, starring the vilest cartoon you can possibly imagine. Read more on Cartoon Violence Is Some Kind Of Cartoon Dominatrix-For-Hire Now, Apparently?…
  cartoon violence

Everything Is A Terrifying Nightmare

By the Comics CurmudgeonRemember a couple of months ago, when everything was all Hope this and Change that and Yes We Can whatever, and you thought that everything was going to be all sweetness and light from here on in? FOOLS! Little did you know that the nightmare would just go on, forever and ever, like a never-ending mescaline trip. Brace yourselves for the horror show that launches 2009, with waves of human-animal hybrids and Dick Cheney’s bosoms! Read more on Everything Is A Terrifying Nightmare…
  cartoon violence

Worst Year Ever

By the Comics CurmudgeonWelcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the far-off futuristic year 2009! Though the rapidly aging 21st century has repeatedly failed to deliver on its promises — flying cars, domed cities on the moon and ocean floor, universal peace supervised by a one-world government, shiny jumpsuit-based couture, sex robots — we still begin each new year with a big dose of Hope! Except this one, obviously, because we’re all fucked. So, in our grand tradition of doing Christmas-themed Cartoon Violences a day after Christmas, enjoy this January 2nd meditation on how the new year will kill us all. Read more on Worst Year Ever…