Wonkette

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Here is a dirty little secret about your Comics Curmudgeon: I actually have no idea how to draw. Really! None! Therefore, I probably have no place making fun of the earnest doodlings of others who only wish to entertain and educate us about the politics. Nevertheless! I have found that some political cartoonists seem to be having problems drawing the current spate of presidential candidates — which is weird, because you have a comically tall skinny black dude with big ears running against a bald-headed, chipmunk-cheeked old gnome. So this week, inadequate caricatures will be called out and shamed! (The Sarah Palin drawings actually seem to be pretty good, since cartoonists are studying her photos carefully, while masturbating.) MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

Hey everybody, are you enjoying the total implosion of late-stage capitalism? Are you watching your 401K lose digits by the day? Are you concerned that George W. Bush’s drunken meandering bullshit might not actually turn this thing around? Are you wondering, in other words, what the future post-apocalyptic meltdown will look like? Fortunately, there is an entire class of people whose job it is to imagine the most extreme scenarios, and depict them, through art, for us to look at in horror. I’m talking of course about political cartoonists! Join us for a guided tour of the hellscape, after the jump. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

While most Americans have just now started paying attention to the Presidential election (holy smokes, did you know there’s a black fella running? And some kind of moose lady?), we know that you faithful Wonkette readers have been following it since the day it began, which is to say November 4, 2004. Therefore, because whimsical cartoons are supposed to take your mind away from the daily horrors of your existence, we here at Cartoon Violence offer a one-week respite from the presidential campaign, which we’re sure you’ll appreciate. After that, it’s back to John McCain’s weirdly lumpy cheeks for the next seven weeks, or until we kill ourselves. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
When Hillary dropped out of the race a few months ago, many male cartoonists were bereft. Not because they supported her health care policies, you understand, or because they hated and feared hope and change. No, they’re just desperately lonely, and drawing the curves of an ample bosom or shapely behind is as close as they’ll come to a woman’s touch. So when John McCain personally flew to the Ice Planet Hoth to rescue Sarah Palin from her igloo and make her his running mate, the ink-stained classes were all very excited! This week, we bring you the Story of Sarah: In Cartoon Form. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

Hey, everybody! Did you miss me? Of course you did! Your Cartoon Violence had to take a little vacation because the cartoons were hurting my brain, again and again, until I had lost the ability to think or feel joy. But now I’m tan, rested, and ready to take on the political cartooning establishment! Join me after the jump to find out how bad it’s gotten. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Like everyone in the liberal media, your Wonkette has been following every minute detail of the ascension of our next president, Barry Jesus Obama. But did you know that there needs to be an “election” before Obama can become president, and that there is another person also seeking this high office? His name is “John McCain,” and it seems that he was in a war [Korea? Philippine Insurrection? Research! --Eds] and maybe also in Congress. In our attempt to bring you complete coverage of Obama’s election, we are presenting all the information currently available on this elusive McCain individual. There are no known photographs of McCain, possibly because his primitive cultural beliefs forbid them, but we at least have these crude depictions from America’s political cartoonists. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon

Say, have you heard that all boundaries between high and low art have been blurred? It’s true, supposedly! That’s why comic books written for socially maladjusted children are now being turned into critic-friendly movies, and famous paintings are being transformed into dopey kitsch. Is there any kind of art that it’s still legitimate to mock and deride? Why, political cartoons, of course! Join in the hate, after the jump. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
“Why can’t you draw something nice for a change?” This, I imagine, is probably what hard-working political cartoonists hear from their parents all the time, as their chosen profession requires that they use their talent exclusively for drawing political figures, who are both evil and physically unattractive, rather than depicting, say, handsome movie stars frolicking with adorable baby seals. But does spending so much artistic energy on the jowls of our political leaders lead to an unhealthy fascination with the ugly and the disturbing? Let’s meet some artists who have stared into the abyss a little too long. MORE »

EXCITING LISTENING OPPORTUNITY FOR WONKETTE READERS! Those of you who have the XM satellite radio can listen to Wonkette’s own Comics Curmudgeon this afternoon! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Greetings, Wonketteers! Your Comics Curmudgeon is back at work, reading the political cartoons so you don’t have to. Except … after a grueling two weeks spent vacationing among the Foreigns, it can be hard to readjust to life in the bitter clingy land of my birth. Most doctors will tell you that making the transition back to Americanness too quickly can be bad for your health! Thus, to avoid possible brain fevers and nasty rashes, this week’s Cartoon Violence will focus on cartoons from the Foreigns, to find out what they think of our beloved presidential candidates! See our future leaders through a crazy fun-house mirror, after the jump. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Barack Obama’s campaign team has the right idea when it comes to combating “smears” from his nefarious opponents! We’ve no business offering suggestions to the people who vanquished Team Clinton, but perhaps that Web page could have been even better if it featured whimsical drawings that illustrate the smear-truth dichotomy. That’s right, we’re talking about cartoons! Check ‘em out, after the jump. MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Those of us who have been forced (either for vaguely professional reasons or by sheer cussed compulsion) to follow the presidential campaign over the past year or so might use a number of terms or phrases to describe it. “Dreamlike,” perhaps. “Nightmarish,” maybe. Or possibly, “A horrible, violent mescaline hallucination during which we begged God to kill us.” But did the candidates feel the same way? We have some evidence, in cartoon form, that maybe one of them did! MORE »

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Let’s cut the chase: America’s political cartoonists are engaged in a vast, ink-stained conspiracy to hollow out our souls and leave us gibbering husks. Why do they hate us, and, by extension, hate freedom? This is not something that mere mortals can answer. What Lovecraftian horrors have they visited upon us this week? That’s much easier to determine: just check out the worst, after the jump. MORE »