No John, NO, you’re the Mexican. That’s why you don’t support the torture of other human beings. Mitt Romney eats Mexican intestines for breakfasts, whereas you only eat grapes and goat cheese and various fairy dairy products.

* Jack Cafferty thinks Alberto Gonzalez is a “weasel.” Don’t ask him what he thinks about Wolf. [C&L]
* Jon Kyl is going on a legislation-blocking rampage because he’s just so tired of “Walnuts, Walnuts, Walnuts” all the damn time. [TPM Muckraker]
* George “H-Dubs” Bush almost dies on the golf course — HuffPo commenters wish him well. [HuffPo]
* Michael Bloomberg wants to fuck up the 2008 election. [Captain's Quarters]
* So does Ron Paul. [Wizbang Politics]
* Dick Gephardt saves Bill Clinton’s ass, again. [Freakonomics]
* John McCain stink-palms himself. [CC Insider]

It’s the trainspotting of “celebrity” journalism, but we can’t help it: Once someone pointed out that Maureen Dowd, David Remnick, Rep. Jim Moran, Nina Totenberg, Bob Franken and Roll Call all had listings in today’s “Notice of Unclaimed Property” in the WaPo, we couldn’t stop looking more Washington folks with, apparently, more money than time. (Clearly, not a problem for us.) Among those who are letting their tax refunds (or whatever) burn a hole in the District’s pocket: Postie Howie Kurtz and soon-to-be ex-Postie Mike Allen, Congressional Quarterly, John McLaughlin, investigative reporter “Murrey” Waas and — are you really surprised — “Governors, Board, O of the Federal Reserve.” MORE »

Wednesday night, WP columnist Dana Milbank acted out the probable outcome of the John Roberts confirmation hearings with stuffed animals. Today, he leads a description of journalists waiting for the release of Roberts documents with observation that it looked like the opening night line for “Star Wars,” “without the storm trooper costumes.” We’d point out that this is a rather major lacuna, but you never know what Pete Williams and Anne Kornblut might have in their closets back home. In any case, we understand the Post has been having trouble hanging on to younger readers, so we look forward to next week, when Milbank will explain how the Senate judiciary committee chairman Arlen Specter is like Thomas the Tank Engine. Biden is more like James. MORE »