Washington’s The Hill newspaper has published its 2008 list of the 50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill, and yes, they were somehow able to find the requisite 50 people! We don’t really know where to begin with this. Checking out all the names and pictures takes long enough, and then there are little articles for each entry — long articles. So far the only sentence we’ve read, arbitrarily selected, was this: “It seems that when Coty Wamp, daughter of Rep. Zach Wamp (R-Tenn.), was 11, an alien invaded her body.” We dare not ask any further questions. MORE »

Senator John Warner — who’s retiring in 2008, having served one term for each husband of former wife Liz Taylor — is in the hospital today for a “heart ailment,” according to Roll Call. He’s got something called “atrial fibrillation,” which isn’t that serious according to his staff, and can lead to stroke-causing blood clots according to the Mayo Clinic’s website. But he will be back to work next week because all of our thousand-year-old Senators are practically immortal, as they all receive the finest medical care in the entire world. And because they drink the blood of virgins.

Warner Treated for Heart Ailment [Roll Call]

Today’s thought question: If John Warner announced his intention to vote for a bill requiring Senate Republicans to jump off a bridge, would they? Discuss. [WP]

John Warner is set to announce his retirement from the Senate in a minute or two (and probably will have announced it by the time we get this post up), setting up a total free-for-all in Virginia, where it was basically a given that he would continue being their Senator until the end of time. But one day someone noticed that John wasn’t actually raising any reelection money or setting up a campaign, and now Republicans are going to desperately try to hold on to a seat that, a couple years ago, woulda been a total given. Let’s take a look at some of the likely candidates: MORE »

* Rahm Emmanuel wants Democrats to keep hangin’ tough, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin’ tough. [Election Central]
* John Warner is definitely retiring - all hail the return of Macaca! [MyDD]
* Pat Leahy calls “Nixon” on missing RNC emails. [C&L]
* Everywhere Bush goes, documents just disappear. [Salon]
* Hillary’s rap money tainted by Imus. [The Hillary Project]
* Tony Blair is mad racist, son. [Guardian]
* How biz-czar. [HuffPo]

* John Warner and his merry band of Senate outlaws demand more attention for their troop escalation-opposition-resolution. Harry Reid says, “WTF?” [WP]
* The House, meanwhile, is going right ahead. Will figure out what to say as they go. [NYT]
* Of course, 3,000 of the 21,500 additional troops are already there, getting their helicopters blowed up. [LAT]
* Iraq war veteran Jon Soltz and his not-so-merry band of surly veterans hang around hill offices telling war stories and dropping criticism of Bush and Cheney like it’s hot. [WP]
* Barry Hussein gets cocky, asks the FEC questions about what to do after he wins the nomination. [WP, NYT]
* Government makes a cartoon of itself by asking other countries if pilots flying internationally can be armed to the teeth. [USAT]
* Bald eagles that shed tears for America, now shed their trees, blood. [NYT]

The Iraq compromise is dead in the water, but more interesting is this: MORE »

* President Bush to announce new grant program for states tonight that will provide health insurance for all legal citizens who talk proper American. [WP, NYT]
* Pies baked for previous SOTUs remain in sky. [WSJ]
* Nancy Pelosi marks her territory on John Dingell’s desk, then tells him what to think about climate change. [WP]
* A jury of Scooter Libby’s peers: white women who read a lot of Us Weekly — cause the stars are just like us! [WP, NYT]
* Classy casino owner gives $1 million classy dollars to ever classy Newt Gingrich. [WP]
* Public campaign financing sounds too much like welfare to Hillary Clinton. [WP, NYT]
* John Warner’s just happy to have a reason to talk to the microphones again. [WP, NYT, USAT]

* John Warner’s ready to cut and run, “If I can leave Liz Taylor, I can leave Iraq.” [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Howard Dean’s job to be given to the blogger with the most inventive Bush impeachment strategy. [Firedoglake, HuffPo]
* Tom Tancredo doesn’t like places where the heat is on, all night on the beach ’til the break of dawn. [ C&L, H&R]
* Tomorrow, Drudge will look down at his tighty-whities and see President Bush’s face in the skid marks. [Raw Story]
* In his heart, Howard Kurtz knows there aren’t even enough good newspapers to make a Top 10 list. [Romenesko]
* Steny Hoyer stops by Springfield, Illinois, to spit on Abraham Lincoln’s Library and fire off a couple verses of the Terps fight song. [The Swamp]

Please, Al, you’re scaring the kids: MORE »

John Warner, on the Senate floor a little while ago: MORE »