Tag: john thune

Hope you've been making regular contributions to your health savings account...

Senate Dems Skip College Sportsball Game To Talk All Night About Obamacare. Is That Even Legal?

Senate Democrats held a talkathon to call attention to how Americans will be hurt if the ACA is repealed. Now get talking to your own senators and representatives.

You Thought Hillary Clinton Won The Popular Vote? Not According To Fake-News Website ‘Google’!

Everybody knows Hillary Clinton lost the popular vote! Just ask the top search result on google.com!
Is it November 9 yet?

Let’s Pretend To Care About Kansas And South Carolina! Your Senate Sunday Reaches Its End

Let's see what's doing in some red states, to round out our look at all 34 Senate races this year.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, October 25, 2016

You have GOT to see these allegedly super crooked Trump PAC douchebags. They're *perfect*. Plus more in your Morning News Brief!

Your Senate Sunday: What’s The Deal With The Dakotas? Do We Really Need Two?

This week's profile of 2016's U.S. Senate races is chock full of Dakotas. Sorry, not the Fanning girl.

Fox News Jizz-Brains Wish Facebook Was More Fair And Balanced, Like Fox News

Hey look, a fake Republican scandal, because it is a day!
Oh, yeah, good old-fashioned Nightmare Fuel

Republicans Have Secret Plan If SCOTUS Kills Obamacare. No, You Can’t See It.

Rest easy, America: If the Supreme Court murders Obamacare over what amounts to a proofreading error later this month, Republicans are ready with a replacement plan, according to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. No, you can't see it. It's a...
We'd watch this, actually

Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio Now In Charge Of Murdering Science In The Senate

It's a great day to not believe in science, America! Sen. John Thune, chair of the Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, has picked the perfect heads for two science subcommittees: Ted Cruz, who doesn't like NASA doing science...

Who Is On The Hill’s Most Beautiful People Thingy Besides Not You?

So The Hill did its Most Beautiful People Thingy, and they picked Jeff Flake to be the most beautiful person on Capitol Hill. That is weird right? Like, that is him, above. Um? The Hill is obviously staffed by...

Climate Change Will Kill Pretty Much Everyone, Says Report About To Be Ignored

Climate change and contributing factors from carbon-intensive societies will cause the deaths of an estimated 100 million people in the next 18 years, according to a report released today that politicians will be paid handsomely to throw away and...

Jamie Dimon Doesn’t Need No Regulations, Says Jamie Dimon

Remember that whole thing a few years ago, something about how the banks ruined the housing industry, your employment prospects, your children’s employment prospects, and the entire country, really, and in turn got billions of dollars from the taxpayers...

Obama Conducting ‘Marxist Dogma’ By Trying To Reduce Child Labor On Farms

Yesterday, late-night television, today, THE FAMILY FARM! President Obama is on a quest to ruin all the fun the conservatives are having now they've got a/their man, and the latest method is to tell people who own farms that...

Arlen Specter Has Creepy, Sexy Thoughts About Sarah Palin’s Knees

Poor old fart Arlen Specter spent thirty years ambling around the Senate floor sneaking up on slow-moving colleagues and torturing them with sermons on political moderation, so we expressed a duly moderate skepticism when the Huffington Post promised us...

Pleasant-Seeming, Somewhat Electable John Thune Not Running For President

For months now, my wife Kimberley and I have received encouragement from family, friends, colleagues, and supporters from across South Dakota and the country to run for the presidency of the United States. We have appreciated hearing their concerns...

Thune Un-Presidential-Candidately Honest About Presidential Ambitions

John Thune is thinking about running for president. Of course he is. But no, really, he actually admits he is! That is not allowed. Every potential presidential candidate is supposed to be coy. Anything else should be illegal and...