Tag Archives: john rocker

  now how much would you pay?

Washed-Up Pile Of Racist Sludge John Rocker Holds Saddest Raffle Of All Time

Somehow, we missed the fact that this past weekend was Baseball Hall of Fame weekend, probably because we do not actually pay attention to things like that in the first place. Apparently Hall of Fame weekend ends up being some sort of sportsball pilgrimage where retired baseball players both famous and otherwise show up to sign autographs and generally exploit past baseball heroics. So you know, of course, that our favorite racist asshole pitcher John Rocker was there to pimp his books, t-shirts, and no doubt childlike scrawl. Oh, and also to have the very most saddest raffle of all time. Read more on Washed-Up Pile Of Racist Sludge John Rocker Holds Saddest Raffle Of All Time…
  humor how does it work?

National Review Man Maybe Tries To Make A Funny About Soccer, Hurts Self In Process

You know the biggest problem with conservatives and humor? Did you answer “because they’re such bullies and boors you can never figure out if they’re being serious or not”? You are exactly right! Congratulations to you! As a perfect example of our inability to distinguish between whether one of their ilk is engaging in actual criticism or attempted funny-making, we give you one Tim Cavanaugh, who went all maximum bloviate about soccer over at National Review. Tim does not like soccer, because it is full of terrorists, or it makes people terrorists, or maybe both. We couldn’t quite follow because we were still too busy trying to figure out if we should be laughing at it because it is funny, or laughing at it because it sucks. Haha of course it is the latter. Read more on National Review Man Maybe Tries To Make A Funny About Soccer, Hurts Self In Process…
  FLOTUS like a butterfly

Michelle Obama Is Being A Thug Again

It has been a rough week for non-thugs in America, as blackity-black people are flaunting their sportsball prowess all over the place. Why, even Michelle Obama used the precious sacred White House space to FLOTUS like a butterfly, sting like a bee, and dunk on the Miami Heat. Read more on Michelle Obama Is Being A Thug Again…
  float like a butterfly knock your ass out

Washed-Up Sports-Ball Player John Rocker Simply Does Not Care For ‘Draft-Dodging Muslim’ Muhammad Ali

John Rocker, he’s this guy. You remember him from being a balls-out racist, and maybe from those times he writed very important columns full of very big words, at the Internet Repository for Washed-Up Lunatics, WND. Well, now he has more things to say, and those things are that he is way more awesomer than that dumb jerk — oh, we’re sorry, “draft dodging Muslim” — Muhammad Ali. Read more on Washed-Up Sports-Ball Player John Rocker Simply Does Not Care For ‘Draft-Dodging Muslim’ Muhammad Ali…
  racist legends

Renowned Sociologist John Rocker Has Genius Plan To Solve Violence In Chicago (Moar Gunz, Less Blacks)

John Rocker, a famous racist person whose steroid use 15 years ago propelled him temporarily into Major League Baseball, has opinions and stuff. Like many dense white people who lost their only job to more talented foreign individuals, Rocker has found solace in the sewage treatment plant of the web that is World Net Daily. As a columnist, Rocker is interested in a diverse array of subjects about how diversity is destroying American society. Oh and he is really concerned with guns, especially the fact that deserving people (i.e. those who have at least one cousin named ‘Cooter) aren’t able to arm themselves as heavily as a platoon in Afghanistan. Read more on Renowned Sociologist John Rocker Has Genius Plan To Solve Violence In Chicago (Moar Gunz, Less Blacks)…
  paranoia strikes derp

Surprise Shock Twist Surprise: Washed-Up Racist Base-Ball Man John Rocker Still Racist

John Rocker, the pretty good pitcher turned pretty huge asshole turned pretty bad right-wing columnist, has some thoughts that he and his thesaurus would like to share with you, about America’s place in the world, and about his very deep concerns that “the evolutionary processes within our society regarding specific intangible ideologies that have transformed our culture” may not, in point of fact, bode well for the future! In short, he thinks we’re headed for the crapper because we watch a lot of garbage on TV and idolize shallow celebrities and thuggish musicians and athletes. Gosh, that’s a novel thesis! It’s probably even more indicative of cultural decay that someone can actually collect a check (presumably) from WND for writing like a peeved college freshman. Read more on Surprise Shock Twist Surprise: Washed-Up Racist Base-Ball Man John Rocker Still Racist…
  i do not think those words mean what you think they mean

Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery

Who could forget the magical year 1999? Bill Clinton proved that it was Constitutional for the president to get a blowjob from a lady to whom he was not married, the stock market was on a nonstop rocket ride to the moon thanks to the new-fangled Internet, and Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker was fourth in the National League in saves with 38. Shouldn’t that have earned him to right to have people respect his opinions, like that Mets fans are trash who throw batteries at opposing players (true) and that it’s better not to have to look at HIV positive people and people with dyed hair and people who don’t speak English (more troubling)? Now, 13 years later, John Rocker has turned to America’s most esteemed publication, WorldNetDaily, to explain how people with certain conservative views are basically censored and put in jail everywhere in this country, without the censoring and jailing part. Read more on Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery…