john roberts
Jennifer Rubin is Perfect but You Suck
The new year is always a time for reflection. One year ends, another begins. Time to take stock of your life and create new dreams and new resolutions that you can aspire to in the coming year. Perhaps you decide to get more exercise (which you really should, you lazy bastards), or be more present [...]
Whiny Gays Finally Get Day in Court, Keep Whining Anyway
Hey gay homosexuals! Be happy! The Supreme Court is going to hear your gay cases about all the sick things you gays do, like get married and serve in the military. Wait, what? You’re NOT uniformly happy that the Supreme Court will hear your gay cases because there’s some complex different issues blah blah blah? [...]
Today in Fappery: David Brooks on ‘Burkean Minimalist’ John Roberts
Centrist yuppies can barely handle themselves now, after seeing the Great Man himself, Chief Justice John Roberts, save Obamacare from judicial overreach in a statesmanlike move to protect his Court’s honor. It is stunning how much credit a Republican can get for not doing something 100% insane, just once, over the course of a lifetime. [...]
No, No, No, John Roberts Wasn’t Extorted, He Is Just Stupid From Epilepsy
The loyal opposition and our fellow Merkins on the savage right have been having a very hard 24 hours, what with trying to come to terms with how they were totally raped in their bottoms by a man, a Justice, a CHIEF JUSTICE they thought was their friend, but who it turns out is the [...]
Rightwing Blogger’s Shocking Discovery: John Roberts Was Blackmailed, Arrests To Come Soon!
How is it possible that it took the #WARBLOGS over an hour to discover the real reason John Roberts made a dookie on the NRO’s face, by agreeing that the Heritage Foundation’s proposal for health care reform, and one that had been flogged by the GOP as far back as Gingrich’s tenure as Emperor of [...]
Health Care Decision A Victory For Everyone, Except Millions Of Poor People Maybe
Good news, liberal-arts majors with Internet connections! Now even though you don’t have a “real job” but are making a livable amount of money by cobbling together three blogging gigs and so don’t have health insurance, starting in 2014 you will be able to (and also required) to stone-cold buy health insurance from whoever you [...]
Your Supreme Court Health Care Liveblog of the Century
The Supreme Court will announce at 10 a.m. whether America is allowed to have health care ever again. Haven’t we gotten spoiled, America? We don’t need health care. What we need is more personal liberty to destroy ourselves and not pay for it. We need more of that. Let’s see what the naked Scalia monster [...]
John Roberts’ Lesbian Cousin Not Going To Yell At Him About Marriage Rights
At Roberts’ confirmation hearings, one of the members of his family that he introduced to the Senators was a cousin named Jean Podrasky. [...] Podrasky is gay, as Roberts knows, she says. She lives in San Francisco with her longtime girlfriend. Would she like to be able to get married someday? “Yes.” Has she ever [...]
Who Is ‘John Roberts’? Nobody, That’s Who
This is special: Asked to name the current chief justice of the Supreme Court, and given four possible names, nearly one-in-ten Americans (8%) choose Thurgood Marshall, despite the fact that Justice Marshall left the Supreme Court roughly 20 years ago, and passed away in 1993. In fact, very few Americans can name the current chief [...]
Georgetown Law Students Confused By Thought Experiment, Report Pretend John Roberts’ Retirement To Hollywood Gossip Website
So why did that dopey “Radar Online” website claim for a half-hour today that John Roberts was quitting the Supreme Court? Some first-year law student half heard the professor say something about John Roberts retiring for “health reasons,” didn’t realize it was part of a class exercise “on the validity of informants not explaining their [...]
John Roberts Quitting Supreme Court Because He’s Gay Or Something?
Look, we haven’t read “Radar Online” since it was actually Radar Online, when Alex Balk was editor and Choire Sicha was “the cat.” But whatever’s left of that site — OCTOMOM EATS OWN POOP, SUES BRAGJALINA!!! — is reporting that wingnut Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts is going to quit, for “personal reasons,” meaning [...]
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