Tag: john roberts

Does Devin Nunes Have Mad Cow Disease? We Are Just Asking.

Devin Nunes is going to BUILD THE WALL! In the House Intel Committee's offices, because that's totally normal.

Here We Go Again. Again. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 2, 2018

Stupid Trump tweets, Republicans don't know what to do, and the 2020 race begins. Your morning news brief.

Trump Tries To Hide ANOTHER Putin Meeting. Wonkagenda For Wed., July 19, 2017

Trump has a secret dinner with Putin, Mitch McConnell still trying to kill Obamacare, and Trump Jr. is 'miserable,' poor baby! Your morning news brief!

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Explains Why Trump Is Thin-Skinned Weenus Who Twitter-Punches Girls

FUCKERY AND LYING, FUCKERY AND LYING, FUCKERY AND LYING. Did we mention Sarah Huckabee Sanders is full of shit?

TRUMP MEANT TO DO THAT. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 16, 2017

OF COURSE Trump leaked classified info to Russia. HE MEANT TO! Your morning news brief!

Trump Knows What Women Want! Your Wonkagenda for Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Trump has a spot for the ladies, TrumpCare rides again (again), and Hannity throws another tantrum. Your morning news brief!

Supreme Court Saves America From Transgender Teens Making Bathroom Everywhere

This kid really needs to pee, and SCOTUS won't let him.

Supreme Court Rules Prosecutors Must Hide Racism More Effectively In Death Penalty Cases

The U.S. Supreme Court decided Monday that the Constitution only allows racial bias in jury selection when it's a lot more subtle than that practiced by a Georgia prosecutor's office 29 years ago. The court overturned the conviction and...
Neither a gentleman nor a scholar

We’re Starting To Suspect Donald Trump May Not Know How America Works (CORRECTION)

Correction: While rolling on the floor laughing because Donald Trump was being as much of an idiot as he usually is, we failed to note what too many other outlets had also failed to note. The original question had...
We see what we did there.

North Carolina Republicans So Sad Dead Scalia Can’t Help Them Do Racism No More

Uh oh, North Carolina Republicans are so upset right now! Mean federal judges did reverse racism to the GOP-controlled legislature, with a recent ruling that the state's 1st and 12th congressional districts were racistly gerrymandered to hell, and thus must be redrawn. Gerrymandered...

2015: The Year Gay Became Mandatory And All The Christians Got Holocausted

If you are a filthy homosexual, 2015 was your year. If you are Kim Davis, or somebody like her, you are not reading this, because you have been martyred for your Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs, so much sadface. Let's look...

Carly Fiorina Wants To Know Why She’s The Only Chick Who Gets Sexismed

Carly Fiorina's 15 minutes sure went by fast, didn't they? One minute she was nobody, the next minute she was that pathological liar who'd spouted a whole bunch of demonstrably untrue horsecrap about Planned Parenthood during the Republican debate...
Now they've even destroyed the sanctity of divorce

Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful

It turns out that not every single U.S. American is sexcitedly happy dancing because the Supreme Court confirmed that, per the Constitution, the Constitution is for everybody. Like, some of the justices on the Supreme Court (but not enough of...
It's like health care only different

Every Single GOP Candidate Has A Cunning Plan To Murder Obamacare On Day One

The highest court of unelected activist judges in the whole Us of America declared, for the second time, that Obamacare haters need to hush now and take a nap because that shit is kosher, yo. Which does not mean...