john roberts

“He said, ‘If you like your plan, you can keep your plan.’ Oh yeah?” This was my mother yelling at the president, which I hadn’t heard her do since Bush II. This was a woman who can hardly believe how much the Republican Party has changed since she registered to vote for Richard Nixon. Who voted […]

You know what’s wonderful? Living in a post-racial America, where everyone is judged based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin. For example: Tucker Carlson is a dick not because of his race, but because he is a cosmic turd wrapped in leaking anal polyps sent here to punish […]

Writing about Larry Klayman has become almost a Mad Libs level of easy. We could just plug in “Klayman” and “court” and “NSA” and “Obama” and come up with a story every day that is pretty close to whatever Larry Klayman is actually talking about. Today, Larry Klayman mixes it up a bit, veering into […]

Earlier this week, we lawsplained at you about how the decision in Schuette v. BAMN, upholding a Michigan voter referendum banning consideration of racial preferences in college admissions, was a terrible fucking thing that was nothing but parts of the Court yelling MOB MOB RULE Y’ALL. We had hoped that would be the end of […]

You know what’s cool? Mob rule. Mob rule is the new hottness. Fuck state legislatures. Fuck the courts. Screw representative democracy. Just put your votes to the people, and if the people happen to decide that they do not really dig on the gays having rights or the blahs getting ahead in life, that’s totally […]

Corporations are people, my friend, as John Roberts has previously pointed out. Chief Justice Roberts thinks those corporations’ shareholders should be able to demand disclosure of corporations’ political expenditures, and he’s pretty sure that companies will abide by their shareholders’ mandates, because what are you, a communist? So we cannot count how many times John Roberts […]

Here at Wonk we’ve been a fan of Cheerios-pushing cereal maker General Mills, both because Cheerios are fucking great and because they love the gays. But we are not really into their latest thing, which is basically telling people that if they interact with them in any way online, they’ve given up their right to […]

Are you one of those people who think teachers are overpaid union thugs that are just lazy and work like 2 months out of the year? If so haha you are on the wrong blog and get thee to a Pajamas Media or a National Review Online ASAP. If you’re down with teachers, hang out […]

Marriage is the most sacred institution of all the institutions ever instituted by god and America’s Founder Jesus “Whitey” Christ exactly 6,000 years ago. Unfortunately, members of the Grand Old Party are looking to limit the federal government’s recognition of some marriages, specifically those that involve an excessive number of dicks and those that contain […]

Did you know that when Yr Wonket counts its blessings, we count Larry Klayman first and always? You probably did not know this, but it is god’s own truth, because if there were no Larry Klayman, there would be so much less Wonket. For real, we wrote about Larry Klayman like a dozen times this […]

We’re actually a little sympathetic to North Carolina state Sen. Bob Rucho, who twattered this over the weekend. Metaphors are hard, and sometimes when you really dislike something, it’s hard not to just pile on. After all, for heaven’s sake, people have been comparing Obamacare to the Nazis, or to the gulags, for years now. […]

Whoever said that manufacturing was dead was clearly not in the “Congressional crisis” industry. You may have thought that supply was low, or that demand was waning, but Congress is back yet again to manufacture another crisis and shove it down your throat, whether you want it or not. What are we collectively gagging on […]

We are just over a week from Obamacare officially kicking off the apocalypse and destroying our freedoms and Holocausting America and blah blah frickin’ blah, and we are already looking forward to cashing in our sweet, sweet government socialized Marxist Hitlerized medicine because we are SO SICK of all the equine manure Republicans have been […]

Here’s a thing Justice Scalia said during oral arguments on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act (AKA B. Hussein Soetoro’s Diktat on the Punitive Application of Collectivist Death Panels v. Bald Eagle) that is quite typical of him: “An equally evident constitutional principle is the principle that the Federal Government is a government of […]

Remember that time when we turned you on to the sweet sweet sounds of Edith Jones, super-racist federal judge? Well, Chief Justice Fancypants John Roberts does not like her new sound. In fact, he’s given it the never-coveted zero stars AND tacked on a formal ethics review: Chief Justice John Roberts of the U.S. Supreme […]