Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi was back in Foggy Bottom 24/7 last week, and you know what that means: photo-ops, photo-ops, photo-ops! Indeed, the State Department’s reception room was a revolving door to all kinds of diplobots from strategically unchallenging countries. And somebody had the nerve to call Our Heroine incompetent. Why do they keep doing that? So mean! Join me after the jump for a Condiological safari through the last seven days…

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In the first reported case ever of John Negroponte being vaguely (if inadvertently) involved in something that could, in the long run, maybe be vaguely good for democracy, a letter from him presents yet more proof that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is a liar. MORE »

* When the FBI is doing some tapping, they lay “full pipe.” [CNET]
* President Bush bulldozes the press corps. [The Gaggle]
* National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq will be ready just as soon as Negroponte finishes the chapter entitled, “Why more troops would fix everything.” [TPM Muckraker]
* But he better not mention “global” or “warming” in the same sentence or Condi will bleach out his windpipe. [Think Progress]
* New White House pastry chef has experience making Desserts for Dummies. [Political Wire]
* During the next election, John Kerry may find that Massachusetts prefers a bloody sock to his bleeding heart. [Boston Herald]

* Iowa voters get high off the smell of their own farts, pretend to listen to what Hillary Clinton has to say. [WP, NYT, WSJ, USAT]
* Mike Hukabee starts his Presidential campaign by getting Tim Russert to admit he’s digging his grave, “with a knife and fork.” [WP, NYT]
* Giant q-tip is inserted into the Congressional earmark culture to clean out the “pornography” and “terrorists.” Staffers keep their fingers crossed for a furlough day. [WP]
* Loving father John Negroponte is going from one job he doesn’t need to another. [WP]
* Handful of movie stars, handful of hippies were all that showed for weekend’s peace march. [CNN]
* Not just New Orleans: levees are fucked nationwide. [USAT]
* Federal judges just a bunch of wikilectuals. [NYT]

John Negroponte, having successfully reformed and overhauled the NSA, CIA, and FBI, is now leaving his position as Director of National Intelligence to be Condoleezza Rice’s assistant. Why? Because no one else wanted the job. MORE »

* President Bush gets on the budget balancing bandwagon, Democrats call bullshit. [WP]
* John Negroponte to leave the “in case of attack, fire this guy” position to be Condi’s deputy at State Department. [WP, NYT]
* Harry Reid has his Scotland golf trip, sans Scotland and golf. [WP]
* William Jefferson and other corruption tinged Democrats are An Inconvenient Presence for Nancy Pelosi. [WP]
* But she’ll be able to forget her troubles for a while as Wyclef Jean and Tony Bennet croon for her tonight. [LAT]
* Barney Frank speaks loudly, carries a small stick. [WSJ]
* Big Oil and Big Pharma are scared shitless of the Democratic Congress, look for their PR campaigns on screens and billboards near you soon. [WP, WSJ]
* Barack Obama is op-corruption in his op-ed. [WP]

Exploiting inter-personal power dynamics to one’s advantage is what Washington is all about — Neil Bush knows it and has mastered the art. And while John Negroponte takes it one day at a time, Mark Warner and John King get bossed around by their kids. These, plus Ken Mehlman on his downward spiral, using Google Earth to find Barbara Bush, and avoiding the notorious Evan Bayh stink-palm, behind the curtain.

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• As rockets fired by Hezbollah penetrated deeper south into Haifa, Israeli troops briefly entered Lebanon to attack Hezbollah bases near the border. [AP]

• The president is torn between supporting Israel strongly and hoping they’ll show a little restraint. [NYT, NYT]
• President Bush’s foreign policy legacy may ride on how he handles this current middle east crisis, despite his apparent unpreparedness. [Newsweek]
• Liberal think tanks and advocacy groups are rolling in the dough, thanks to a network of some of the richest donors in the country. [WP]
• The wife of former State Department Asia hand Donald Keyser, currently under investigation for espionage, is a CIA officer currently working very closely with Director of National Intelligence John Negroponte. [Time]
• Federal aid is arriving to taxpayers displaced by Hurricane Katrina, in the form of $10 billion cash. [NYT]
• The Bush administration plans “sweeping changes in Medicare payments to hospitals.” [NYT]
• Joe Lieberman probably shouldn’t have kissed the President. [NYT]
• Some say the Israel lobby is too powerful in Washington. Others say that’s antisemitism. [WP]
• It’s gonna be a hot week. [WP]

• “There’s a growing constituency of low-income white folks in America who aren’t duped any longer… Back in the Sixties, along with the Black Panthers, Young Lords, and the Brown Berets, there was a group of what detractors derided as “white trailer trash” called Rising Up Angry. Its awareness and militancy were second to none.” [Smirking Chimp]

• In a blog clusterfuck, Daily Kos (Markos Moulitsas) disses TNR for defecting to the right, LGF says “Moulitsas’ conspiracy-oriented mindset echoes the anti-rational paranoia of radical Islam.” [LGF]
• Apocalyptic Left Behind video games record which video ads and product placements you view, where your computer is located geographically, and how many New Yorkers you fail to convert and then murder. [Talk To Action]
• Glenn Greenwald on Jose Padilla: “Jose Padilla spent 3.5 years of his life in jail, for charges that the administration is not willing to test in a court of law. Yet it is now bringing a case against Padilla that is “light on facts.” [Glenn Greenwald]
• “Essentially, from time to time Negroponte pulls a toy rabbit around a track and lets the righties get some exercise by running in circles, chasing it.” [The Mahablog]

* John Negroponte will get Bill Frist’s phone records when he pries them from his cold dead hands! [Rude Pundit] MORE »

• White House, in effort to win over critics, makes the “highly unorthodox move” of nominating Gen. Michael Hayden to head the CIA while announcing his new deputy. [WP, NYT, USAT]
• John Negroponte says Hayden is “independent-minded.” [WP]
• Former aide to Rep. Robert Ney (R-Ohio) pleads guilty to “conspiring to corruptly influence Ney’s official actions by showering him with gifts and trips.” [WP, NYT]
• Sensing “historic opportunity,” Democratic intellectuals and analysts argue over the best strategy forward. [NYT]
• American Bar Association downgrades rating of Bush judicial nominee Brett Kavanaugh; Senate Judiciary Committee holds unusual second hearing today. [NYT, USAT]
• CIA official resigns amid accusations of unethical behavior. [WP]
• What will the Bushes do about Katherine Harris? [NYT]
• Media blitz thrusts Mary Cheney in the limelight to promote her new memoir. [WP]
• Senate votes down limits on malpractice awards. [NYT]