Wonkette

Because it’s important to destroy the symbols of liberty, too, the White House will formally remove America’s Magical Bird — the majestic fish-eating Bald Eagle — from the Endangered Species list next month. MORE »

Each week, the Comics Curmudgeon helps explain Today’s Cartoons.

So, what with the recent Democratic victory in the midterm elections, everyone knows that the People Have Spoken and there’ll be no more arguments or hate ever, right? Ha! That was a good one. No, in fact, there’ll just be more carnage, because the Democrats not only have to tackle a Republican president, but will also have to take on the one enemy who is always most pernicious to any Democrat: other Democrats. It’s going to be like an Elizabethan bear-baiting contest, but with fewer rules! And so, in honor of the upcoming carnage, we here at Cartoon Violence are pitting similarly themed entries from the week’s cartoons to decide who is the cartooniest.

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From the suddenly entertaining yet utterly unknown “Opinion L.A.” blog — a Top Secret site apparently run by the Los Angeles Times — comes a “bloggers are fools” story so perfect that all bloggers should be forced to read it aloud every morning. The short version goes like this: MORE »

In fairness, this is the closest to a non-surprised expression we’ve ever seen on Nancy Pelosi’s face. But when did Rahm Emanuel become Donnie Darko? MORE »

Arianna Huffington was really pushing Murtha this week — not just as House leader, but as “Person of the Year.” MORE »

We automatically tune out the cable-news Daily Weather Freakout because it’s always some trailer park in the south or whatever, but it appears there’s an actual Tornado Watch in DC, right now. MORE »

Nancy Pelosi was unanimously voted Speaker of the House (congrats, crazy hippie!), and Steny “Slightly Less Corrupt” Hoyer was elected Majority Leader, beating out John “Bribe Me Later” Murtha. The vote in the Majority Leader race: 149-86. The crazy race which made Trent Lott the House Whipper of Minorities was a helluva lot closer, but expect to see “Dems Divided: Speaker Pelosi’s Leadership Ability Questioned” pieces in your major papers by sundown. MORE »

John Murtha is sent over to convince the moderate “blue dog” Dems that he’s going to be a good majority leader, and this is what he says about Pelosi’s anti-corruption bill: “Even though I think it’s total crap, I’ll vote for it and pass it because that’s what Nancy wants.” MORE »

* President Bush met yesterday with members of the Iraq study panel, said they have “interesting ideas.” [WP, NYT]
* Nagging corruption allegations against John Murtha create questions about Nancy Pelosi’s support for him as majority leader. [WP, NYT]
* President Bush begins trip to Asia today, will meet with Russia and China about best bullying tactics for Iran, Syria, and North Korea. [WSJ]
* The House’s failure to pass a bill normalizing trade relations with Vietnam seen as an embarrassment to Bush before his arrival in Hanoi. [NYT]
* Rudy Giuliani sets up presidential exploratory committee. [NYT]
* Florida Senator Mel Martinez to become RNC figurehead when Ken Mehlman steps down in January to spend more time with his leather pants. [ , NYT]
* Freshman lawmakers remarkably similar to freshman college students in giddy excitement, cluelessness. [WP, USAT]

* Republican controlled lame duck final session of the 109th Congress begins today. Only innocuous, non-controversial legislation expected to go through — but the White House is still hoping to push for the authorization of domestic wiretapping and the confirmation of John “Mustache of Fury” Bolton as ambassador to the UN. [NYT, WP]
* Nancy Pelosi supports John Murtha for House majority leader citing his early support for withdrawal from Iraq. [WP, NYT]
* Incoming Senate leadership also beating their out-of-Iraq drums, “We need to begin a phased redeployment of forces from Iraq in four to six months.” [NYT, LAT]
* Newly independent Joe Lieberman, establishing himself as the generic brand alternative on Iraq, says the Democrats’ plan “to pick up an leave” is wrong. [WP]
* California and Nancy Pelosi are all about the pork. [NYT, LAT]
* Everything you never wanted to know about Jon Tester. [NYT]
* George H. W. Bush: “I have some rights of memory in this kingdom, which now to claim my vantage doth invite me.” [Newsweek]