Much like the earlier generations of unemployed bloggers, Meghan McCain is just so deep in the Internet right now that she’s going double insane. Behold her nervous, illiterate twitters about somebody she doesn’t know who may or may not exist, on the Internet, and perhaps at minimum exists on the other side of the country, typing some sadsack stuff about wanting to die. Teen-agers are hyper-emotional, Meghan, sort of like you, except you haven’t been a teen-ager since your dad almost joined John Kerry’s presidential ticket. MORE »

• John McCain on John McCain: “I have my own opinions on most issues now.” [Think Progress]
• Jim “The Duke of Wellington” DeMint hit the nail on the head, with his whole Waterloo comment. Even Barack Obama admits that his quest for world domination will likely fail. But which island nation will he be exiled to? Cuba? [RedState]
• Transparency has never looked so cloudy! [AMERICAblog]
• It’s official: Jon Stewart is the most trusted name in news. Honorable mention to write-in candidate Billy Mays, who was runner-up. [HuffPost]
• Oh brother! Now Matt is pontificating about “Food Cart Deregulation.” But will he reveal how it led to the subprime hot dog crisis? [Matt Yglesias]

Last year, poor ol’ Johnny Walnuts spent 75 percent of his campaign either changing Sarah Palin’s runny diapers or apologizing to once-famous musicians for using their songs in campaign commercials that nobody watched. One of those musicians was Jackson Browne, who, like John Mellencamp, could have had a brilliant career as a composer of truck commercial jingles, but instead decided to waste his talents on being a liberal. MORE »

• PAT BUCHANAN URGES MORE RACISM AGAINST SOTOMAYOR: Former Nixon racism strategist Pat Buchanan does not understand why a few of these current Republican leaders continually reject the obvious political benefits of just being completely racist all the time: “Had McCain been willing to drape Jeremiah Wright around the neck of Barack Obama, as Lee Atwater draped Willie Horton around the neck of Michael Dukakis, the mainstream media might have howled. And McCain might be president.” [Human Events]

Here’s more of John McCain making a damn ruckus over Iran. He truly believes that the United States must do whatever it can — use all available options! — to ensure Iran counts all votes in its domestic presidential election. (And it also needs to ensure that Ahmadinejad loses, regardless of how the votes play out. Democracy!) Just remember, again, that if WALNUTS! were president right now, you would be dead, regardless of age, as all Americans would have been shipped out to fight in the wars in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, China, Russia, Spain, France, Mexico, “Africa,” Spain again, North Korea, Greece, Italy, Nazi Germany, the Carolinas, and Neptune. [MSNBC]

No one ever said having a pragmatic foreign policy was easy, but it’s what Barack Obama wants, and sometimes you just have to let terrible states work out their internal political problems on their own (at least for a few days or weeks or whatever). The other option is to have John McCain as President of the United States, a situation where skepticism over the legitimacy of foreign election results would immediately lead to all sorts of belligerent condemnations and freaking *oil embargoes* and eventually nine or so wars, on the same country, before the dust settles. [Think Progress]

• WHO IS THIS DEPENDENT CHILD? Now what is this we see in the Senate financial disclosures: “Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and his wife, Cindy, owe more than $15,000 on a joint credit card that is charging 25 percent interest; Cindy McCain owes between $15,000 and $50,000 on another charge card; and a dependent child has racked up between $15,000 and $50,000 on an American Express Card as well.” [Politico]

One year ago yesterday minus a day, John McCain delivered the speech of the century to a small smattering of embittered retirees haunting an abandoned Bingo hall in Louisiana. Meanwhile, a young upstart Muslin named Hussein “Barack” Obama cast a sorcerer’s spell over a large crowd of innocents in St. Paul and told them that yes, he would be their nominee for Preznet if they insisted. Do you remember, America? Do you remember the terrible death-rictus stretched across John McCain’s crumbling skull as he uttered the immortal words, “That’s nnnnot ch-ch-cha-chaaange you can bb-huh-lieve in”? Let’s celebrate this milestone anniversary and laugh again. MORE »

Of course it’s Internet blog reporter Dave Weigel, covering the Washington Independent’s “violent psychopaths and racists” beat, who’s first to remember that tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of last year’s most important breaking news story, one that we still think about, everyday, because what if it’s out there?? On May 16, 2008, blogger Larry Johnson changed the world with a single sentence: “I now have it from two sources that there is video dynamite–Michelle Obama railing against ‘whitey’ at Jeremiah Wright’s church.” And yet we’re still waiting. Will the liberal media and Al Qaeda ever show this tape that they have? Or do we have it already… and just don’t realize it? HUH? Is it the video up top? HAS THIS YOUTUBE BEEN THE SECRET “WHITEY TAPE” ALL ALONG? [Washington Independent]

Mormon crickets: If you live, say, anywhere in the American West, you know these horrifying animals as a persistent cannibal scourge that can form a phalanx a mile across and two miles long, marching through the desert in search of food. If you are a senator “from” Arizona who grew up in Virginia and spent most of his life in Washington D.C., they are a punch line to a terrible joke. MORE »

Weren’t we just talking about Larry King? Yes we were! Well, the “king of all media” has some very special guests tonight, straight from the meth/moose/Taco Bell capital of the world, Wasilla. The singular Levi and Mercede Johnston will sit down this evening with Hollywood’s favorite death muppet, and dope-dealin’ mom Sherry Johnston is coming along for the ride. (The ride will be in an actual pickup truck, driven from Alaska. Sherry will be shotgun. Mercede likes to be closest to Levi, in the night.) MORE »