john mccain
Fuddy-Duddy Bush Lawyer Rains On Romney Middle East Torture Parties
There’s this guy running for president, see, and he keeps yelling about “America” and “freedom” and how noble our pursuits are, and how barbaric and backwards and cruel our enemies are, and how “the values of this great land are those values that make us the greatest nation on earth,” which sounds great, until you [...]
Time Travel With Wonkette To The Marvelous Day When John McCain Picked Sarah Palin, America’s GILF
Following Willard Mittsworth Moneybaggs Romney IV’s introduction of his exciting Veep pick, Paul Ryan, Your Wonkette presents a look back at the heady days of 2008, when enfeebled man-who-would-be-king John McCain invigorated his moribund campaign by choosing as his running mate an exciting fresh face with impeccable conservative credentials, Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. While news [...]
Romney, Cheney and McCain All Busy Interventioning Each Other Over Impending Presidential Loss
Does your family throw great interventions? Catered, maybe, with a really soothing jazz band noodling in the background to provide that little oomph? Don’t worry, it comes with practice. Soon you’ll have it down to the point where you no longer even need to assign roles like “stop and get the deli platter,” and “don’t [...]
John McCain Is So Over His Defeat That He Still Won’t Talk to the New York Times
The New York Times has the latest iteration of the beloved media story “What John McCain Is Like Now,” and here’s where it situates the old coot who pretends to be from Arizona along the spectrum: Definitely not the “far-right” monster who ran for Senate reelection in 2010, but also not the liberal fluffer who [...]
Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too
Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and “project leadership,” and everywhere you go, you make people hate you. What jerk thing came out of your mouth this time? Oh, just that London was [...]
Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert Casts Aspersions On Potency Of John McCain’s Scrotum
Yes, you are the newest supernova in the Wonket Cavalcade of Stars, Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, but are you burning too bright? Having just in the past week joined in Michelle Bachmann’s search for Arabs under the bed, and then gotten it just right with his explanation that Aurora was caused by Jealous Jeebus, Louie [...]
Calm, Judicious Tea Partier Seeks Total Recall Of Traitor Muslim-Lover John McCain
O HAI JOHN MCCAIN! Sometimes you seem to understand that your party (AND YOU) have thrown in your lot with a bunch of neo-Nazi troglodytes of terror. And then usually you go right back to cynically exploiting these dumb biddies and their lunatic leaders for your own political gain. Hey that’s just how it is, [...]
Former Bachmann Campaign Manager Ed Rollins: Unlike Michele Bachmann I Am Not Evil Or Nuts
Now that Sen. John McCain has put on his biannual Integrity Cloak again, and denounced Michele Bachmann’s Arab Hunt from the Senate floor, a few other people would like to get into the act. One is Bachmann’s former campaign manager, Ed Rollins, who also worked for Reagan and Mike Huckabee and would like you to [...]
Never Forget: Michele Bachmann Is The Real Victim Of Calling People Muslim Terrorists
Fun times at the Capitol! First Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (who sits on the House Intelligence Committee) released a letter saying Hillary Clinton’s top aide, superhotty Huma Abedin (who is married to Anthony Wiener, known Jew, also) is probably a Muslim terrorist! After all, why is the State Department giving security clearances to people whose fathers [...]
John McCain Rides To Romney’s Rescue: Sarah Palin Was ‘Better Candidate’
Hey Walnuts, would you perhaps like to ride to the rescue of your party’s current standardbearer, who is at the moment in a spot of bother, by explaining that it was not his unseemly wealth or that he perhaps did not even pay any taxes sometimes (who can ever know? It would be irresponsible not [...]
Trusty Surrogate John McCain Talks About All That ‘Foreign Money’ Funding Romney Campaign
His lordship St. John McCain is all over the place this week, yelling about popcorn and pigs, on Twitter, demanding leak investigations, whining about how Obama never called him, and, well, how about a little rant about campaign finance now to top off the week? What does McCain, a top Mitt Romney surrogate, think about [...]
Failed President Sought Companionship Of President
After Obama’s quashing of lapsed aisle-straddler John McCain in 2008, people apparently thought this loser and winner could come together and do great things, as if the election were a tie or something, as if this were post-Blair England and the leadership options were so bad that the options had to band together in a [...]
It’s Farm Bill Time, And All Amendments Are Perfectly Reasonable & Germane
It’s farm bill time in the Senate, with the draft bill out of committee, debate open, and hundreds of amendments pouring in, all lined up just in time beat the June 30 deadline! The way they used to resolve all of these competing amendments and regional interests and endless lobbyist demands in the end was [...]
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