john mccain

Here is some happy fun times with ye olde maverick, Juan McCain! He is on Fox News, and he is SO MAD at a) Nobama (duh), b) Senor Canadiano el Senator Ted Cruz, c) all the Republicans for doing this dumb old shutdown, and d) Fox News, for promulgating this insane nonsense that defunding Nobummercare […]

Remember back in 2008 when we were all briefly terrified that John McCain might win the presidency and then die and then Sarah Palin? As it turns out, WALNUTS! is winning his battle against actuarial science quite handily! Here he is on the floor of the Senate, looking more alive than Mitt Romney ever has, […]

Steve Schmidt, the political adviser who suggested that John McCain choose a fresh new face from Alaska as his running mate, now says he has “deep regret” for his role in helping to bring on the “freak show that’s been running wild for four years” in American politics. So, yeah, apology accepted. Now here’s a […]

In one of those weird astronomical things that celestial mechanics throws the solar system now and then, Yr Wonkette and Ghost Breitbart’s House of Free-Floating Rage find themselves in a rare alignment, with both blogs asking, “Hey, John McCain, WTF dude?” Breitbart’s AWR Hawkins (those are initials, but we always use our Pirate voice when […]

The story so far: Barack Obama said: “I am terrible at foreign policy, therefore I will say a bunch of stuff I only half-mean, such as that there’s a red line, and that I’m going to bomb everybody, but it will be obvious I don’t want to, and everyone will think I’m a moron.” Then […]

We told you about John McCain’s dumb town hall — it included a dude with marshmallows, which we guess is a better town hall prop than an AK, or a brick. But what we did not tell you, because we did not know it, is that John McCain thinks it is time for you to […]

Poor old really old John McCain. Lately, he has been flinging himself at all possible Syria options so that he can later decide what to do based on a complicated metric of whining and hostility over not winning in 2008. Johnny Boy has made the mistake of looking like he might semi-sorta like to bomb […]

It must be so hard to be John McCain these days, which is excellent news for John McCain because everything is, that is the law. President “That One” is still running around being president, if you can believe it, like some kind of guy who got elected president. And one of Johnny’s BFFs, Joe Lieberman, […]

Remember that time John McCain went on all the teevees to yell about how we really needed to be having some very important classified meetings about BENGHAZI!!!!11!!1, at the exact same time some very important classified meetings about BENGHAZI!!!!!11!!1 were actually happening? Well, fool him once, won’t get fooled again, because this time he actually […]

So that was some kind of long weekend, eh? Whilst Americans were all mandatorily eatin’ ribs and shooting babies out their twats in accordance with the official definition of that which is Labor Day (thanks, Union Thugs!) President Obama went into the Rose Garden to confuse everyone with speeches about some place called “Syria” and […]

With all the big doings about Syria and Congress this weekend, we thought it was high time to unveil our official Wonkette editorial policy on Syria. Ready? Really ready? Our editorial policy is ???????? because what the hell do we know? We are certain that Sarah Palin is both a terrible and stupid human being […]

Happy anniversary, America! Light your Jahrzeit candle, because today is the five-year anniversary of the day John McCain got all mavericky and picked Sarah Palin’s well-jogged ass off a Google image page of lady GOPers to be his co-loser in the 2008 presidential election! We sure have had a lot of laughs since then, haven’t […]

Oh John McCain, who you pissing off now? Fresh off his failed attempt to either make the Muslim Brotherhood gay marry Egypt or else get the fuck bombed out of them, the failed presidential candidate, naval pilot, and possible Hillary ’16 supporter, Senator John McCain, has decided to shut up for a second about those foreign […]

Turns out that Mitt Romney isn’t the only failed candidate serving up some revisionist campaign history this week! On Friday, Sarah Palin went on Greta Van Susteren’s televisual shouting festival and revealed that during the 2008 campaign, “elitists” in John McCain “banned” her from flying her freak flag and talking about Barack Obama’s connections to […]

Sen. John McCain would just like to reassure strippers across this great nation that they have nothing to fear from the bill he’s supporting that would phase out $1 bills and replace them with dollar coins, because maybe instead of getting pelted with coins, they’ll still get bills, just in larger denominations, so yay strippers, […]