Tag: john kerry

Exxon, You Dirty, Dirty Whore. Wonkagenda For Thursday, December 29, 2016

Exxon's got an image problem, John Kerry triggers Israel, and James O'Keefe wants a big boy news job! Your daily news brief!

How Bad Is Donald Trump Pissing In China’s Corn Flakes Over Taiwan? THIS MANY BAD.

It's a YOOGE FREAKING DEAL, and not in a good way.
Oh, just go fuck yourself.

Ecuador Grounds Julian Assange From Internet For Being Raging Douchewhistle

Did John Kerry pressure Ecuador? is there a global conspiracy? DO YOU CARE?
Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.

How Is Hillary Clinton Murdering America With Her Emails Today?

Is this 'quid pro quo' thing the smoking gun that should put Hillary IN JAIL? Ahem, no.
And for Christ's sake, stop letting Trump claim he was against the battle at Wolf 359!

Hillz, Interrupted: Matt Lauer Not Very Good At Doing Journamalism

Huh. Someone managed to be worse at this job than Chuck Todd.
It's been a while since we've used this!

Donald Trump 90% Wrong At Commander-In-Chief Forum, Exceeds Expectations

Donald Trump dumped out even more concentrated stupid than usual at MSNBC's 'Commander-in-Chief Forum' Wednesday. But he didn't scream, so maybe he looked presidential.
A study in contrasts

Looks Like The Philippines Already Elected Their Donald Trump. How’s That Workin’ Out For Them?

Wondering what a Trump presidency might look like? Check out Philippines' president Rodrigo Duterte, who's all about law and order and saying any damn thing he wants to.
At least this time it wasn't in a bag on fire

Russian Spies Pooped On U.S. Diplomat’s Carpet, Which Really Tied The Room Together Man

International relations took a gross turn this week: the Washington Post's Josh Rogin reports on a Russian campaign of harassment and intimidation against American diplomats in Moscow and eastern Europe. There's some pretty scary shit going on, from the...
History's Greatest Monster, 2016 Edition

CONFIRMED: Hillary Is Sleaziest Email Criminal Since Colin Powell

Did Hillary do something wrong? Yeah. Did everybody else do something wrong too? Yeah. IS EVERYBODY SORRY FOR WHAT THEY DID?
That thing will never fly. Center of gravity is all out of whack.

Everything You Need To Know About Iowa’s Hot Throbbing Caucus: A Wonksplainer

After all the campaigning and stump speeches and far fewer corndog-eating photos than we would have hoped for, the Big Day is finally here: Happy Birthday, Pauly Shore! Also, it's the Iowa Caucus, a mysterious ritual that nobody cared...
Blaspheme not the Name of Reagan

Iran Releases More American Prisoners. Thanks, President Trump!

Iran has released four Americans who were being imprisoned in the Islamic Republic, and boy oh boy are Republicans ever pissed off about it! It's almost as bad as that time last week when Iran killed quickly released those...
He seems festive

An Ode To Donald Trump And A Peen For Wonkette: 2015’s Worstest Deleted Comments

Another year gone by, and another torrent of deleted comments from the finest collection of loons, goons, and poltroons a comments moderator could ever wish would just go away. With our new Disqus commenting system came a whole flood...

Watch Jimmy Carter Laugh At His Cancer, Smileyface Emoticon Here

Our beloved former president Jimmy Carter -- if you're not from around these parts, no, we're not joking, dick -- promised to update us on the cancer doctors found in his liver, and this morning, update us he did....
What you're SUPPOSED to do in boarding school.

Alleged Prep School Rapist Only Did It Because There Was A School Sex Contest, Probably

Oh, to be back at boarding school! Mumsy and Popsy would seldom visit, and even then, only to meet with the headmaster about which one of our family names would christen the new Humanities building. And what fun we...
Why is Obama so afraid of this man?

Ted Cruz Tells Obama And Clinton To Stop Rubbing Their Lithe Bodies All Over Islamic Tyrants

Ted Cruz has apparently had enough of all the Hitler rhetoric over the Iran nukes deal, and is now suggesting that Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John Kerry want to have a hot swinger foursome with Iran and maybe...
Just pointing out the obvious

President Obama Politely Suggests Republicans Are Bunch Of A-Holes

Now that President Barry H. O'Bamz is this close to being SO outta here and SO done with all of our bullcrap, he really does not give a good goddamn. And he will say anything he wants to say....