Tag Archives: john kasich

  a feature not a bug

If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!

That bridge sucked anyway.
You may be familiar with the state of Kansas, where Governor Sam Brownback and the ruling GOP have conducted what Brownback has called a “great experiment” in conservative economics. They’ve radically slashed income taxes, especially for top earners, on the theory that liberating this money will supercharge the economy; businesses will flock in, new jobs will be created, and an orgy of private sector commerce will fill the budget hole caused by the tax cuts. Read more on If Kansas Jumped Off A Bridge, Would Other States Do It Too? Apparently Yes!…
  introducing john kasizzzzzzzzzz

John Kasich Explores Presidential Bid, Hopes Everyone Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Vote For Him

Basically Tim Pawlenty with slightly more experience. Whatever happened to T-Paw anyway?
Everyone scoot over, we’ve got another passenger for the Republican clown car. John Kasich, the colorless blob of wheat germ currently serving as governor of Ohio, is on an eight-state speaking tour that just coincidentally happens to include South Carolina, home of one of the nation’s early primaries. Even more coincidentally, news of his trip first leaked to the Washington Post last week, which meant a write-up from WaPo political reporter Robert Costa this week. Let us take a look at the latest boring white guy we might be writing jokes about for the next year. (Please kill us.) Read more on John Kasich Explores Presidential Bid, Hopes Everyone Can Stay Awake Long Enough To Vote For Him…
  Mentors: The Faithmaker

Jesus Has A Whole New Bag: Mentoring Ohio Public School Kids

Mentoring means the kids get Mentos, right?
So here’s a terrific idea to help At Risk Youth (you know, poor kids) overcome the problems of poverty: get them into a mentoring program, so they can learn skills for success and learn gooder in school. And so, with a bit of fanfare and a photo op surrounded by underprivileged kids and their smiling teachers, Ohio Gov. John Kasich went to a Cleveland elementary school in June to sign into law a bill that would provide $10 million in funds for mentoring. Yay, kids and success! Oh, and also, if schools want to participate in the mentoring program, they’ll have to partner with a business — because entrepreneurs made America great, we guess — and also partner with a church or other faith-based group, according to a report by Cleveland.com: Read more on Jesus Has A Whole New Bag: Mentoring Ohio Public School Kids…
  Please Run For President!

We Found You That Double Supersecret Video Of John Kasich Being An Asshat

I can't hear you, I can't hear you, la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Yesterday we brought you the odd story of the Disappearing John Kasich Video, in which we learned that the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s corporate overlords, Northeast Ohio Media Group, (call ‘em “NEOMG,” because “Ni! OMG!” is fun to say) had removed a video of its editorial board meeting with Ohio gubernatorial candidates for an endorsement interview. Read more on We Found You That Double Supersecret Video Of John Kasich Being An Asshat…
  No film at 11

Why Doesn’t The Plain Dealer Want You To See Gov. Kasich Being An Asshat?

Mentoring means the kids get Mentos, right?
So here’s a heck of a thing: The Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper just loves Ohio Gov. John Kasich. In 2010, it endorsed Kasich, seeing in him a candidate “given to Reagan-style optimism and bold, sometimes questionable, ideas.” The editorial board seems to have stopped questioning those ideas and has endorsed Kasich again, saying he’s “proven himself a good governor — and an excellent fiscal manager of Ohioans’ money.” Kasich is also “gutsy” for supporting Medicaid expansion — and good on him for that — although the endorsement editorial somehow didn’t mention Kasich’s insistence that Medicaid expansion isn’t really part of Obamacare, not really, so he can still say that he hates the nasty Obamacares, hates it! Read more on Why Doesn’t The Plain Dealer Want You To See Gov. Kasich Being An Asshat?…
  But He Won't Do That

Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It

Mentoring means the kids get Mentos, right?
This one makes a lot of sense: Ohio Gov. John Kasich kind of embarrassed himself by speaking a very uncomfortable truth Monday, saying that even though Republicans like to talk about repealing Obamacare, it’s just “not gonna happen,” and that Republican opposition to the Affordable Care Act was “really either political or ideological.” Or at least that’s what the Associated press quoted him as saying. Read more on Gov. Kasich Will Still Murder Your Obamacare, Ohio, Except For All The Parts Of It…
  sick people are a small price to pay for freedom

Ohio Pro-Lifers Sue To Make Sure 300,000 Poors Don’t Get Medicaid, Because ‘Life’

Well, that escalated quickly. On Monday, Ohio Gov. John Kasich threw away any hopes of ever being on a Republican national ticket and used This One Weird Governor Trick to expand Medicaid coverage under the Affordable Care Act, in defiance of the state’s Republican-controlled legislature. In response, six members of the legislature and two anti-abortion groups have sued to prevent the expansion, because tyranny, zygotes, and slut pills. Read more on Ohio Pro-Lifers Sue To Make Sure 300,000 Poors Don’t Get Medicaid, Because ‘Life’…
  pregnant teen korner for pregnant teenz

What Gateway Sexual Activity Are We Teaching Our Children Today?

We will have to ask Kid Zoom, boy president of our Teen Korner for Teenz, what kind of gateway sexual activity they are teaching in Idaho these days (we are guessing: pooper-only, to save the Hyme for your Husby). If any of you know any other teenz — although why would you? — please ask them how their gateway sexual activity is currently being Learninged. Because in the great state of Ohio, all that Gateway Sexual Activity Learning is about to be shitcanned. Put away that banana, sex ed teacher, you will not be using a “sexual simulation device” to teach the children well! Or at all, even! Read more on What Gateway Sexual Activity Are We Teaching Our Children Today?…
  totally different governor sammiches

Ohio Gov. John Kasich Wants You To Know His ‘Hot Wife’ Is In Kitchen, Making Him a Sammich, Where She Belongs

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One and that’s not funny? Oh no no no no. Feminists don’t change lightbulbs, apparently, if Ohio Governor John Kasich’s wife is around! That is because she does everything that could need doing — the laundry, the sammiches, never letting him forget he’s a man cause she’s a woman. Read more on Ohio Gov. John Kasich Wants You To Know His ‘Hot Wife’ Is In Kitchen, Making Him a Sammich, Where She Belongs…
  edumacation

Ohio Gov Appoints Lying Jock With No College Degree To Board Of Ed, For ‘Diversification’

If you were a governor, would you ever appoint someone to a state board, just because of his or her race? Of course not, that would be racism, even if that person’s race has been historically underrepresented on that board, and the board’s mission involves tackling persistent racial inequalities! That’s why Ohio Governor John Kasich wants to make it absolutely clear that when he says “On any board you want some diversification” in regards to his appointment of an ex-Ohio State quarterback to the state’s Board of Education, he is not referring to the fact that the dude is black, but rather to his background. His background involves not graduating from college, and not submitting an application for the job, and completely making up the supposed charter school that he claims to have founded. Also he lives in the country and maybe he’s kind of Jesus-y? Read more on Ohio Gov Appoints Lying Jock With No College Degree To Board Of Ed, For ‘Diversification’…
  bucket of warm piss

Ohio Governor to Ohio: ‘See You Suckers!’

It’s not everyday a governor gets the great good fortune to prove his vice-presidential bona fides while also totally boning the citizens of his state, but lucky Ohio Governor John Kasich found just such a marvelous opportunity after five tornadoes ripped through the Rust Belt, leaving three Ohioans dead (out of the region’s 39, so far) and untold billions in property damage. While the Communists of Kentucky and Indiana were only too happy to go groveling to President Food Stamps for their Dependency Hand-Outs (Ameros), Kasich knows a fucking valuable thing when he sees it, and in this case that fucking valuable thing is putting Ohio’s future where his veep ambitions are and turning down any federal aid for his ravaged state because earmarks? Read more on Ohio Governor to Ohio: ‘See You Suckers!’…
  how to impress the ladies

John Kasich Does An Excellent Parkinson’s Disease Imitation

Ohio Gov. John Kasich gave his State of the State speech this week and how did that go, The Hill? “Kasich’s speech was laced with repeated mentions of his wife, Karen Kasich, an impersonation by the governor of someone with severe Parkinson’s disorder, and a reference to Californians as ‘wackadoodles.'” Sounds like it went well. Wait… can we see that again? “Kasich’s speech was laced with repeated mentions of his wife, Karen Kasich, an impersonation by the governor of someone with severe Parkinson’s disorder, and a reference to Californians as ‘wackadoodles.'” Emphasis ours! Read more on John Kasich Does An Excellent Parkinson’s Disease Imitation…
  of course

Big Election Wins For Libs Obama Had Nothing To Do With Still About Obama

OMG CRAZED LIBTARD GODZILLA ATE WINGNUTS FOR LUNCH (and then had horrible indigestion). Scenes from the massacre yesterday: Kochsucker thug John Kasich’s Ohio union-busting law was demolished; in Mississippi, the criminally insane anti-abortion “personhood” amendment was shredded, a new GOP-sponsored Maine law banning Election Day registration went up in flames, Republicans got hammered in Kentucky, and even in crazy old teatard Arizona it was the Arizona equivalent of ten thousand free state-sponsored abortions because “God hates browns” law-sponsor nutter state Senator Russell Pearce got a big recall face punch. What fun! Although really, GODZILLA is just thousands upon thousands of ordinary angry voters who are sick of insane conservative lawmakers. But this story cannot possibly really be about them, can it? Read more on Big Election Wins For Libs Obama Had Nothing To Do With Still About Obama…
  the anti-abortion legal defense industry

Ohio Fetal Heartbeat Bill Passed So Public Can Pay To Have It Struck Down

Take heart, angry war fetus! The cranky olds of the Ohio House of Representatives have imaginary-heard your testimony and finally passed their “Fetal Heartbeat Bill,” an unconstitutional law that prohibits abortion after six weeks. In other words, this was a law passed “for fun,” as it has no chance of becoming actual law. Here is something funny, tho! Governor John Kasich’s budget proposal cuts Medicaid spending by 30%, state aid to municipalities by 25%, and education by 11.5% after federal stimulus funds expire, which means while all of Ohio’s poor slobs go sick and stupid from these budget cuts, politicians still get to use taxpayer money to employ lawyers to lose at defending their dumb law. Read more on Ohio Fetal Heartbeat Bill Passed So Public Can Pay To Have It Struck Down…
 

Daily Briefing: Will the Real Bill Frist Please Stand Up?

* Federal spending has grown faster under Bush than any president since Franklin Roosevelt. John Kasich: “Republicans have gotten the sense that they’re going to get elected by passing out money to people.” [USAT, USAT] * Republican divisions over the budget and immigration reduce chances of passing legislation this week. Sen. Richard Durbin (D-Ill.): “There’s a chasm between the House and Senate.” [NYT, LAT, USAT] * GOP strategists see the strong economy as a ticket to victory in November elections. [WT] * Josh Bolten will have to “reunify Republicans behind the administration and keep Mr. Bush‘s presidency from sinking into lame-duck status.” [NYT] * Gen. Anthony Zinni calls for Rumsfeld to resign: “Integrity and getting on with the mission and doing it right are more important than loyalty.” [NYT] * Sen. Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) treads carefully in the Senate with his sights set on the White House: “The real Bill Frist, [voters] don’t really see.” Strategist Scott Reed on his immigration bill: “He really needs to deliver if he’s going to look at exploring a presidential race.” [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Will the Real Bill Frist Please Stand Up?…