Tag Archives: john f. kennedy

 

Buy JFK’s Air Guitar For Next To Nothing!

Some jokester is selling an “air guitar owned by JFK” on eBay for $5,000, and to give credit where it’s due, the American people have not placed any bids yet. Silly eBay merchant, the correct way to run this scheme is by selling an “air Constitution owned by Ron Paul” and raising the minimum bid to $300 million. Hey, we should actually do this… [eBay] Read more on Buy JFK’s Air Guitar For Next To Nothing!…
 

Diarrhea Made JFK Bungle Bay Of Pigs Invasion

Remember the last young handsome half-Kenyan President we had before Barack Obama? Yes, Jack Kennedy! You’ll recall he assembled a band of Cuban nationals to re-invade Guam, and then he tore Nikita Khrushchev a new one while having sex with Marilyn Monroe and Angie Dickinson simultaneously. None of it would have been possible without drugs, and the excuse for the drugs was diarrhea. Read more on Diarrhea Made JFK Bungle Bay Of Pigs Invasion…
 

JFK Not Responsible For Barack Obama’s ‘Very Existence’ After All

The public been duped again by America’s Prince, Barack Obama. You know how he likes to talk about how John F. Kennedy is secretly his father, because Kennedy bankrolled Barack Obama Sr.’s trip to the United States and personally introduced the young Kenyan economist to lovely Ann Dunham? All lies! Read more on JFK Not Responsible For Barack Obama’s ‘Very Existence’ After All…
 

Cabal Of Dead Democrats Meeting For Gambling, Larfs

It turns out that Hillary Clinton is not the only member of her family to speak with the dead. One artist has captured in paint definite proof of two living Democratic ex-presidents in sinister commune with the long deceased. What sort of liberal witchcraft is this coven engaged in? And what does it mean that Bill seems to “have all the chips,” while FDR “deals the cards”? Read more on Cabal Of Dead Democrats Meeting For Gambling, Larfs…
 

Jack Ruby and Lee Harvey Oswald’s ‘Kill JFK’ Plans Revealed!

Happy Dead Presidents Day, everybody! Our most beloved non-Reagan dead president, John F. “Jack” Kennedy, was killed by Lyndon Johnson’s Anti-Castro Cuban CIA Mafia Military-Industrial FBI Complex way back in 1963. We still don’t know exactly what happened, because “the government” won’t release the files for another forty or fifty years (or never), but the Dallas Morning News says a weird old transcript proves or doesn’t prove how “lone gunman” Lee Harvey Oswald and mafia-nightclub tough Jack Ruby discussed killing JFK so, uh, the Chicago mob wouldn’t be bothered by Kennedy’s little brother, Bobby Kennedy, who was attorney general back when the attorney general was expected to do anti-crime things rather than just torture innocent foreigners forever, in Cuba. Read more on Jack Ruby and Lee Harvey Oswald’s ‘Kill JFK’ Plans Revealed!…
 

Madame Tussauds Creates Wax Demons of Democrats

Goo! That’s Barack and Hillary, in the Oval Office, except it’s a fake Oval Office and they are wax “busts.” The vaguely new Madame Tussauds wax museum in DC unveiled this exhibit yesterday in anticipation of today’s Potomac Chesapeake Crabby Primaries. The exhibit features other demonic constructions as well… Read more on Madame Tussauds Creates Wax Demons of Democrats…
 

Handsome, Wealthy Man Claims To Be JFK’s Love Child

A rich and handsome American man in his 40s “bears a striking resemblance to the 35th president of the United States” and could be the illegitimate child of John F. Kennedy. Vanity Fair was supposedly doing a big feature on the guy, but a very powerful somebody killed the story. I am JFK’s love child, B.C. man says [The Globe and Mail] Read more on Handsome, Wealthy Man Claims To Be JFK’s Love Child…
 

But Is Barry Maybe Too Much Of A Pussy?

Sure, he’s a charismatic rainbow child whose half-man, half-Muslim, half-unicorn heritage makes him a ringer for Jack Kennedy. But is Senator Barack Obama maybe too much of a pussy to pull off this election thing? Experts disagree! Read more on But Is Barry Maybe Too Much Of A Pussy?…
 

ARNOLD ENDORSES McCAIN WHILE ARNOLD’S KENNEDY WIFE ENDORSES OBAMA: The rich really are different — they’re all insane! Schwarzenegger endorsed John McCain last week, after Rudy Giuliani dropped out in disgrace, and after Schwarzenegger weakly claimed he wouldn’t endorse anyone. But at a “surprise appearance” (with Oprah) in Los Angeles on Sunday, Arnold’s trophy-Kennedy wife Maria Shriver said she’s endorsing Barack Obama. WTF? Aren’t the various first couples supposed to at least pretend they’re on the same team? [New York Sun/Baltimore Sun] Read more on …
 

Kennedys Praise Barry For Being Like Their Family

The oldest and most important man — the “dean,” or “stern grampa,” might we say? — of the Democratic party, the Liberal who is somehow brothers with various political legends who died 900 years ago, TED KENNEDY, gave his big endorsement speech for Barry today at Washington’s American University. Caroline Kennedy, whose father was some sort of neat, pretty president in the 1960s — the one obsessed with putting humans on the moon by a certain time — joined Uncle Teddy to give a Hope speech as well. Congrats, Barry: you have officially become a Kennedy today. It would be wise to beef up your security. After the jump, some clips of Ted and Caroline’s speeches. If Ted keeps getting this excited whenever he says “Change,” he may very well die. But isn’t death a Change in and of itself? Read more on Kennedys Praise Barry For Being Like Their Family…
 

Bush White House Blamed For Lack of Kennedy Parties

Do you remember the swinging social scene of early-1960s Washington? So many parties with those fun-loving and oft-assassinated Kennedy boys! And then George W. Bush ruined it all when he was appointed president four decades later. That’s the gist of this six-hundred-page Vanity Fair recollection about the glamorous good old days of yesteryear, and it prompted one Washingtonian to pen the following recollection of the glamorous Clinton years. Read more on Bush White House Blamed For Lack of Kennedy Parties…
 

Daily Briefing: Belaboring Those Problems Which Divide Us

* Democrats plan to pass what bills they can in the first 100 hours of the new Congress. Other, more complex issues like Iraq, may not be finished in the first 100 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. [WP] * King Abdullah of Jordan tells George Stephanopoulos, “We’re juggling with the strong potential of three civil wars in the region.” [WP] * Bipartisan commission today begins debating establishment of diplomatic initiatives with Iran and Syria. [NYT] * Members of Congress from both parties lament the training standards of Iraqi military and police. [WP] * President Bush don’t sleep here no more; he just deals with his “funk” over midterms by globetrotting and considering his legacy.[WP, NYT] * Whither the New England Republican? [NYT] * Newspaper whose readership is almost entirely Medicaid patients reports that state spending on Medicaid declines for the first time ever. [USAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Belaboring Those Problems Which Divide Us…
 

Gossip Roundup: The Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations

• Names & Faces: “People expect that we can’t play, so we always exceed expectations,” says Rep. Collin Peterson (D-Minn.) of his band, the Second Amendments. [WP] • Inside the Beltway: Madeleine Albright is writing two more books, including one aout her brooches. . . Ron Christie, aide to Bush and Cheney, is writing a book titled, “”Black in the White House.” [WT] • Page Six: Mimi Fahnestock, infamous intern of John F. Kennedy, remarries. [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: The Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations…
 

Gossip Roundup: ‘How You Gonna Trust That Cat?’

• Washington Whispers: Rolex watch given to John F. Kennedy from Marilyn Monroe is up for auction; its box includes poem, “And let me love or let me die!”. . . 81% in one poll can identify Roberts. . . Some Democrats irked by Clinton‘s participation in Katrina aid. . . Chertoff has an evacuation plan for his family. . . DeLay has personal vow not to frown or whine. . . Margaret Spellings exercises to the Police, Chaka Khan, Stevie Wonder, and the Carpenters. . . Romney‘s religious credibility questioned by “Christian leaders.” [USN&WR] • Inside the Beltway: Bush “took a rare break from mopping up Hurricane Katrina and bid farewell to Prince Bandar“. . . Bork‘s son hawks shirts that say, “Renominate Bork! He’s tanned, rested and ready.” [WT] • Rush & Molloy: Chuck D raps about Katrina: “Son of a Bush, how you gonna trust that cat?/ To fix [bleep] when help is stuck in Iraq?” [NYDN] • The Scoop: Al Sharpton acted as “eyes and ears” of PETA for New Orleans. [MSNBC] Read more on Gossip Roundup: ‘How You Gonna Trust That Cat?’…
 

Casting Camelot Two

So when is the bias-hunting Media Research Center gonna pop a cap in WP style writer Robin Givhan’s well-clad ass? Sure, she got all wriggly about Condi dominatrix duds, but not so long after she berates the Veep for wearing “the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower,” she declares that the Roberts family is dressed nice… a little too nice. Admittedly, we don’t know much about fashion (no white chaps after Labor Day, right?), but we had no idea that a Talmudic reading of “appropriate attire” could, in fact, discern attire so appropriate it becomes inappropriate: Read more on Casting Camelot Two…