john f. kennedy

This week, we’ll wrap up our rightwing Christian-school textbooks’ version of the 1960s as they actually happened — not the way the liberal media would have you believe — with a look at the Civil Rights movement, which is  pretty good timing considering this week’s 50th anniversary of the signing of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. […]

We told you last week that we were finished with the 1950s and moving into the ’60s, and we are — but by a quirk of editing, both of our history textbooks for the Christian school market have shoehorned the Kennedy administration into the very end of their chapters on the Fifties, the better to […]

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day some acting-alone asshole, or maybe a bunch of assholes at the CIA or the FBI or the mob or the men’s-room attendant at the White House went and shot up that nice handsome president and ruined a perfectly good pink dress. You know all that, of course, […]

Well, here we are, humping the boonies of the Culture Wars, and one of the Things We Carry is our 10th-grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. We know we promised we’d get to Ronald Reagan singlehandedly knocking over the Berlin Wall this week, but there’s just so much Cold War […]

Because America is terrible, we have to (have to? get to!) commemorate the last time we managed to successfully kill a president. USA! USA! Believe it or not, we’ve managed to limp along for 50 years without a random nutjob (or a gaggle/plethora/cell/swarm/herd/nest/whatever of nutjobs) knocking off the resident of our nation’s highest elected office. […]

Oh dear oh dear! Supposed “cool guy” Barack Obama called fragile, defenseless centimillionaire former CEO and current Republican nominee for president of these godfearing United States of America Mittens Romney a vile swear meaning one who defecates like boy cows, and the Republic may crumble from the dastardly act. What if children who unaccountably look […]

His Holiness the Pope of Pennsylvania Rick Santroum issed an edict this weekend excommunicating John F. Kennedy, the first fake Catholic president ever, to every layer of Hell for giving a speech 52 years ago in which he said, “I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute.” Santorum, if […]

John F. Kennedy was assassinated forty-seven years ago today. Where were you when you read The Warren Report, and then laughed? We will probably never know if H. L. Hunt hired Blackwater to shoot JFK in the head, but most people reject the Oswald conspiracy theories and have accepted that President Handsomepants’ violent murder was […]

It was 48 years ago today that Marilyn Monroe was literally sewn into a see-through gown and carried out to the stage of Madison Square Garden to serenade President John F. Kennedy for his birthday. LIFE photographer Bill Ray took this famous picture of Marilyn’s ass. And Hank Jones, the legendary jazz pianist who accompanied […]

Robert McNamara accomplished many things in his long life, from revitalizing Ford Motor Co. with a new line of safe compact cars to decades of work to alleviate global poverty and reduce the risk of nuclear war. But he dies today as the “architect of the Vietnam War,” and it seemed the whole rest of […]

John McCain has been asking everyone “Who is the REAL Barack Obama?” and, ha, we’ve finally smoked him out; here is the Real Barack Obama, a bird-faced hellcop space lord clutching a dead kitty, staring at the camera, trying to rape John F. Kennedy. He’s with, uh, Jim Webb there in the dunce cap. You’ve […]

Here’s the fourth paragraph in today’s offering from New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol: “The Siegessäule is an impressive structure (especially if you have a militaristic bent). It’s a large fluted sandstone column on a base of polished red granite, topped by a golden statue of winged Victory. Completed in 1873, it […]

This is the famous “Daisy” ad from Lyndon Johnson’s successful 1964 campaign, which depicts a young Hillary Clinton getting nuked from space by a dead J.F.K., which mutilated her from a Goldwater lozer into a Enfranchiser. The guy who made this Controversial ad, Tony Schwartz, died today at 84, instantly, after finally realizing how fucking […]