john edwards
Hillary Is Going To Come Out! Exclusive! Must Credit Wonkette For Writing About the Enquirer!
Remember John Edwards? You do, and you are sad about it, yeah? Your own little progressive Icarus who flew too close to the bright hot sun of the National Enquirer and then fell to earth, wings aflame, or hurtled into the sun, or exploded or something. We do not know because we skipped Greek classics [...]
Cheer Up Congress, At Least You Are More Popular Than That Dude Who Knocked Up Rielle Hunter
Waah, everyone hates Congress, just because it is filled with adult babies who have managed to hold 1,237 votes on repealing Obamacare and outlawing abortion, but couldn’t manage to find time to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, because Eric Cantor hates Native American women (thanks to “Elizabeth Warren,” probably). So Public Policy Polling released [...]
John Edwards And Rielle Hunter Broke Up Last Week, Or Possibly In 2008
You guys, extra-sad news! John Edwards and Rielle Hunter, who as far as we knew six days ago were America’s number one committed couple, are now totally broken up. Well, they’re still a family, because when you knock up your crazy new age-y campaign videographer and/or are knocked up by a married sleazeball presidential candidate, [...]
Rielle Hunter and ‘Johnny’ Edwards Consummate Greatest Love Story Of Our Time
Watch out Liz and Dick, and Romeo and Juliet, and Buttercup and Wesley, and Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, and Bristol Palin and that creepy Gino guy: Rielle Hunter is here to write the gauzy, Vaseline-lensed story of her Great Love with the world’s best husband, father, and all around guy, John Edwards, and it [...]
John Edwards Jury Sick of Dealing With It, Mean Judge Makes Them Continue Dealing With It (UPDATE)
Don’t you love that smell when the entire media realizes it’s just wasted an hour on nothing? Such has been the case this afternoon, when the big news orgs announced that a JOHN EDWARDS VERDICT HAS BEEN REACHED and WOULD BE ANNOUNCED AT 3:00. Finally! It had been like 10 days with these jurors “deliberating.” [...]
Ew Gross What No (John Edwards)
Thanks ABC, for this delightful WIN on the only possible thing that might matter in the GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL John Edwards trial for venality, indecency, and grossness. Since the alternate [jurors] were identified last Thursday, it has been impossible to ignore the dynamic between Edwards and one of the female alternates, an attractive young [...]
Rielle Hunter Needed Healer’s Help For ‘Wrong Sauce’ On Reuben Sandwich
It is hard to know who is less popular in Wonkville: lunatic hippie Rielle Hunter, or her tousled-locked boy lover, John Edwards. It is also hard to know who is less popular in the Young household — the Youngs being the couple who agreed to fake the husband’s affair with Hunter (and paternity of Edwards’ [...]
Edwards Wanted To Be Supreme Court Justice, Was Insulted By Rich Dowager
You know what the difference is between America’s elite, the 1 percenters and the fast-rising politicians, and slobs like you? Planning. Like, you, for instance, have no plans for the day, and are trying to relieve the ennui by reading a blog about dick jokes and politics, and maybe later you’ll try masturbating or something, [...]
Husband of the Century John Edwards Purchased Human Lady Flesh From ‘Millionaire’ New York Sex Pimp
OH GOOD. Noted humanitarian and best guy ever John Edwards is not only seeking to make another human maybe with perfect soulmate Rielle Edwards. Nope. His name has also come up in conjunction with some sex-trafficking investigation in Manhattan, which has uncovered that he was purchasing sexxx with money during the presidential bid that was [...]
Maybe Baby! National Enquirer: John Edwards Still Putting Penis in, Trying to Impregnate, Rielle Hunter
Primpy shitsack “human” “man” John Edwards, who at one point was actually the progressive choice in the 2008 primaries — and Christ, we dodged that bullet — is still putting his penis in the vagina of flakey terrible person Rielle Hunter, and according to the Daily Mail’s regurgitation of the National Enquirer, is possibly open [...]
John Edwards Waging Heroic, Life-Threatening Battle With Karma
Famous sleazeball John Edwards still cannot quite yet stand trial for the million or so dollars in alleged campaign finance violations he racked up during his failed 2008 bid to get America to elect him President before they realized he was screwing around on his cancer-stricken wife, because he has some kind of life-threatening mystery [...]
John Edwards Finally Indicted For His Many Crimes
Loverboy creep John Edwards spent nearly a million dollars in campaign donations — money given by liberal Democrats to this man’s presidential campaign — to keep his mistress and love child living in style all while pretending to be a loyal family man out to help working people. Sure, it is not a crime that’s [...]
John Edwards To Be Prosecuted By DoJ For Campaign Sexytime
John Edwards’ whole life seems to be the moral of a story called “Having hundreds of millions of dollars will not make you happy.” Now the sleazeoid is going to be prosecuted by Obama’s Department of Justice for illegal use of campaign money (to keep that woman and his love child). MSNBC: Sources close to [...]
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