• WHAT’S GROSSER THAN GROSS? “While he was unpacking, Young discovered a videocassette, according to the book pitch. Hunter had been hired by the Edwards campaign to videotape the candidate’s movements, but this one is said to have shown him taking positions that weren’t on his official platform.” [New York Daily News]

Among the more bizarre aspects of the tragic “John Edwards is a sex lizard” story that broke last year was the part where a long-term aide claimed that he, the aide, was the father of Rielle Hunter’s baby and took her in to live with him and his wife and children for a while, all bankrolled by that lawyer and Democratic financier who’s now conveniently dead. The aide, Andrew Young, is shopping around a book that will presumably spill the beans on the very important question of who the father of the little Edwards-looking tot really is, because why else would you buy the goddamn thing, right? MORE »

• JOE TRIPPI SAYS EDWARDS SABOTAGE PLOT RUMORS ARE ‘COMPLETE BS’: Whaaaa? Does this mean somebody lied to our precious George Stephanopoulos? Prove it, Trippi. [JoeTrippi.com]

So it turns out that some top-level Edwards staffers (JOE TRIPPI???) were prepared to go public with news about their boss’s affair if it looked like he was in danger of actually winning the Democratic nomination. Thus: nobody ever had to worry about him ruining the party, because his own double-crossing employees would have ratted him out first. MORE »

You have probably heard by now about this “John Edwards” character, who constructed his own vulgarian Monticello out of dirt, mirrors, and his own crippling self-regard out in a mud-patch in North Carolina. He also ran for president, twice, but nobody wanted to elect him because he was such an awful reptilian phony. THEN it came out he was fucking some dreadful hippie on the 2008 campaign trail, which made his wife vomit when she heard about it, and the reason you haven’t seen that last bit mentioned on your Wonkette is that we honestly find the whole episode just that distasteful. But this we can get behind: possible misappropriation of campaign funds! MORE »

John Edwards has been mysteriously absent from the news for many months, ever since he announced that he could very well have gotten John McCain elected president had he (Edwards) won the Democratic nomination because he was having sex with some hippie crystal worshipper who gave birth to a child that looked like “John Edwards in a onesie” even though he was not the father. MORE »

Yikes! Barack Obama might still like this guy for Health and Human Services, but somebody is out to get poor Tom Daschle, an innocent and honorable man who accidentally underpaid his taxes by a hundred thousand dollars and change. Two Democratic turncoats have been whispering in the ears of Politico reporters, to whom we link because one of the reporters is our beloved Ben Smith, who is “friendly.” The point is, these Democratic sources totally ratted out Daschle, which means they are being disloyal to the president, which means they will be executed. MORE »

Now that it’s officially pre-2009, we can start guiltlessly recycling all the material we’ve already written into Top Ten Posts. Today’s took a surprisingly long time to compile. It seemed like a good idea to look at all the funny terms we used to describe our Political Enemies, and it turns out that phrases like “rancid shit-sack,” “vulgar fraud,” “human garbage,” and “cretin” turn up with shocking frequency around these parts. So, after the jump, a painstakingly culled collection of our favorite mean phrases we used to describe objectionable people such as Joe the Plumber, Eliot Spitzer, and of course our all-time favorite, the humanoid sewer-pipe and self-professed eternal virgin Joe Lieberman. MORE »

Well this is the shadiest sentence ever written: “Located in the heart of DC on embassy road –where all of the embassy’s are.” Hmm, wonder if that’s near Embassy Row, where there are also a lot of embassies? Another major tip-off: “All money will be handled through money wire.” A true plutocrat would never be so tasteless as to mention the word “money,” twice! Obviously, John Edwards is behind this scam. [Craigslist]

Hey John Edwards, want to debate Karl Rove in San Francisco for some reason? Sure why the hell not! That’s what’s going on today in San Francisco, where the two are engaging in a discussion about the economy at a meeting of commercial bankers. No Cameras. This is only Edwards’ second appearance since admitting that he banged a dingbat f-list 1980s New York socialite, “Rielle.” He can slip in to San Francisco and debate “finance” with a Republican fraud-lord for an unusually high speaking fee very, very stealthily, because most media outlets in the area are busy covering the current Gays vs. Blacks vs. Mormons Marriage War that has set the quaint seaside metropolis ablaze. [ABC7]

Vulgar sex clown John Edwards is ending a three-month public silence tonight with a lecture of sorts at Indiana University. He will discuss politics for a cool $35,000, which is more than many American adults make in a year of manual labor. Then he will probably go to Iowa to get them ground ops all geared up for 2012! He’s gotta win it one of these days! [Indiana Daily Student]