A well-placed fern adds a touch of nature to your giant, panel-dwarfing doric columns.

Busy week so far for Wonkette. Last night saw us at some sort of weird auditorium/ballroom thing attached to the EPA (no one knew what purpose the space served, except for hosting panel discussions in a fancier-than-usual setting) for The Week Opinion Awards (in Partnership with The Aspen Institute). It was a blast, of course, though we admit that we don’t remember the awards bit, or the round-table bit, or the speeches, as we were having way too much fun schmoozing and drinking. We’re sure the winners were very deserving, though. Despite our not winning.

And boy, what a star-studded occasion it was. Froomkin! Arianna Huffington! Sid Blumenthal! Froomkin! Our full (hazily-reconstructed, actually) report, complete with exclusive photos from Liz Gorman, Intrepid Girl Reporter, after the jump.

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Apparently having a flashback to his days at TIME, Slate’s John Dickerson did some reporting today and discovered the Republican National Committee’s very own war on Christmas. In their new web-only ad attempting to terrify people about the Democrats’ seditious anti-military criticisms of Bush, the RNC illustrated the problem of undermining the troops with a picture of a soldier stoically watching the Dems bad-mouth him and his cause. There’s the usual misleading, out-of-context tilt, but Dickerson also caught a factual error sure to enrage Bill O’Reilly: They airbrushed Christmas. In the original file photo (right), our fighting man isn’t being disillusioned by John Kerry, he’s having the cockles of his heart warmed by Dr. Suess’s timeless tale of holiday spirit, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” Shame on you RNC!

Well, it could be worse. They could have just kept the photo untouched and compared Democrats to the Grinch. What with the Nazis already taken. MORE »

We regret missing the “Washington’s Funniest Celebrity Contest,” though we can’t say the coverage makes us miss it a lot. The Reliable Source advised many to “keep their day jobs,” while FishbowlDC wondered, “We’re supposed to be laughing with, not at, them, right?” But what were people expecting? It’s the least surprising discovery of bombs since Judith Miller turned in her notes from Iraq.

Our Low Expectations Operative filed a report.

Fashion-wise: “many icky polyester sheaths, complete with pantylines. yikes.”

“The winner, Brian Baird’s impersonation, depended on the same joke (3 times). Putting up a graph of (gas prices/unemployment, etc.) on their side, so that they look like they are going down, instead of up. While funny, not incredibly creative… the MAYOR was the funniest person in the room. by far. who knew? First joke was just up your alley: ‘Okay, you all better put down those wine glasses, because I’ve got police positioned on the street.’”

Also funny: “Linda Sanchez dating a first responder who turned out to be a ‘premature responder.’”

More highlights after the jump.

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Slate’s John Dickerson invites readers to play both Karl and Kreskin, suggesting the location Bush should deliver his Thursday night address and divining where he will deliver it. Well, this is easy: MORE »

Guess John Dickerson has finally finished that book about his mom:

Actually, this comes from something called “Supersisters Trading Cards” — the collection also includes Jane Pauley and Helen Reddy. They were a noble but misguided effort to promote the image of successful women, and in a little-known start to his legal career, John Roberts had them banned. Of course he didn’t need to work too hard. It’s sort of hard to imagine kids getting excited about them — “Hey, I’ll trade you two Bella Abzugs for a mint Shirley Chislom!” MORE »

NRO picks up the tidbit everyone told us was double super-secret: The Washington Post’s current Hill reporter, former White House correspondent and unfailingly polite Mike Allen is in talks with TIME magazine to leave the Post for TIME’s more luxurious lodgings over on 12th Street. He gave Eric Pfeiffer what can’t even be called a non-denial denial, more like a non-confirmation confirmation: “Thank you for asking. I love The Washington Post and have not made a decision about any change.” MORE »