john cornyn
Texas Senator John Cornyn: We Must Burn The Government To Save It
Sometimes you have to burn the village to save it, every soldier knows that, which means it also totally makes sense that you have to shut down the government and then completely deprive it of revenue to fix it. Hear that? Just SHUT THAT SUCKER DOWN, the economy won’t mind at all. And then when [...]
Gal Who Used To Lie For Dick Cheney & John Cornyn & Bush Admin. Energy Dept. Will Now Lie For BP
Troubled oil giant BP, which just wants its life back, is having a “bad news year” and needs the kind of experienced press flak who’s got plenty of experience lying for America’s most evil people. This is, after all, America — despite the Gulf of Mexico’s mysterious “Mexican Name” that keeps Sarah Palin confused every [...]
NOMINEES WITHOUT JUDICIAL EXPERIENCE ARE GREAT, EXCEPT WHEN THEY’RE … DEMOCRATS! Senator John Cornyn (Wingnut-TX) thought it would be “very beneficial” to have a bird-brain non-judge like Harriet Miers on the Supreme Court, because she would have a non-judicial “grounding in reality and common sense” lacking in professional judges. But Elena Kagan is a terrible [...]
John Cornyn Hates Sports And America
NRSC head “Big John” Cornyn of Texas has been having some difficulties on the Twitter Machine in the last 24 hours. He has been attempting to show Americans that he loves college basketball, just like normal people do. Yesterday he wished good luck to two teams that had played the night before, which he later [...]
John Cornyn Meant To Say We Need F-22s To Bomb *China*, Not India
Like many proud leaders of the Grand Old Party, Texas Sen. John Cornyn recently said something inappropriate and terrible and damaging to his country while defending something expensive, war-related, and unnecessary. Last week he argued against curtailing the Pentagon’s F-22 program on the grounds that we will need those bad boys to bomb various countries [...]
Teabaggers Boo John Cornyn Even Though He’s the Only Senator For Freedom
You people keep asking us for Teabagger July 4th video and, well, we can’t really find any clips! It’s as if the whole Teabagging Craze died with the 500 people who started it, on April 15, to protest George W. Bush’s tax cuts. But here’s the “traitor” and bloated wingnut John Cornyn being booed by [...]
‘Big John’ Cornyn Simply Does Not Care For This Sotomayorian Name-Calling
These days you can tell which Republicans would like to keep their jobs as elected officials and which ones just want to make a living bleating on the talk radio by how they have reacted to the Sotomayor nomination. With no irritating constituents to answer to,Tom Tancredo, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh have all gone [...]
Republican Base Also Hates Charlie Crist
Beloved wingnut blog RedState has taken an important stand against the Senate campaign of orange-skinned gay RINO and Florida Governor Charlie Crist. “If the NRSC thinks this is smart, we must not waste our time or energy with them,” RedState’s Erick Erickson wrote today. “Join me in pledging no money, no help, no aid, and [...]
‘Big John’ Cornyn Says Minnesota Senate Seat Could Be Vacant For ‘Years’
Homosexual cowboy John Cornyn, head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, says that everyone’s favorite November 2008 election between Norm Coleman and Al Franken could take “years” to resolve if he and his friends just want act like assholes. Apparently once Coleman’s challenge is rejected in state courts, there is another level called “federal courts.” [...]
SENATE CONFIRMS HILLARY CLINTON: The Senate has confirmed Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State in a 94-2 vote, with only Jim “Every Sentence Must Have ‘God’ In It” DeMint and David “Fucking” Vitter voting against. John Cornyn put down his hearty opposition to the immediate confirmation today after WALNUTS! himself, John McCain, told him to [...]
DNC Parodies ‘Big John’ Cornyn Video, Doesn’t Really Explain This
The DNC has released a new web ad called “Exxon John” to support its “Exxon-McCain” gimmick. Maybe 50 or 100 political web junkies will recognize that this ad parodies the unintentionally hilarious Sen. John Cornyn video from a couple of months ago, “Big John.” Everyone else in the world, however, will watch this and wonder, [...]
‘Big John’ Cornyn Creates Comical ‘Western’ Montage Of Self
Big John Cornyn had to speak at a convention, Oh my, what to say, with all that attention! He queried his staff, they dwelled on the matter, ‘Til finally they settled on iambic quadrameter! “A cowboy to narrate! Some bales of hay!” Then Cornyn responded, “but isn’t that gay?” “Nay” said his staffers, “It’s rugged, [...]
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