Tag: john bolton

How Sad, Fox News Is Going To Have To Run A Pathetically Stupid Correction Again

Here is a video of Fox & Friends anchorstiff Brian Kilmeade talking to Diplomacy Expert -- if by "diplomacy" you mean "Let's bomb Iran" -- John Bolton about Benghazi, trying to find one more person to accuse of Doing It...

Concussion-Gate: Hillary Clinton Perpetrates America’s Most Nefarious Coverup

For us, the worst part of this Benghazi incident (NEVER FORGET! WORSE THAN 9/11 AND WORLD WAR TWO AND STAR WARS EPISODES 1-3 COMBINED!) is that we have to hear what John Bolton thinks about anything at all. Unless...

Bitter Old Senators And Hot Young Thing Deeply Troubled By Americans’ Inexplicable Refusal To Freak Out Over Benghazi

Egad! Horrible lying liar Susan Rice and acting CIA Director Mike Morrell met with senators John McCain, Lindsey Graham, and new amiga Kelly Ayotte, and she scurrilously admitted that what she said on TV talk shows five days after...

No, John Bolton, They Were Just Laughing At A Dick Joke

Yesterday Joe Biden was yakkin' about foreign policy at NYU and said, "I promise you, the President has a big stick. I promise you." All of the students laughed at this, because, ha ha, penis. Yes, that's what they...

Mitt Romney Somehow Liberal Now For Hiring Gay GOP War Salesman

The Mitt Romney campaign hired a gay! But that's just a matter of statistics, right, because come on, the Gay Old Party, et cetera? No, this Richard Grenell, Romney's new "national security and foreign policy spokesman," is an openly...

Newt Gingrich Needs Two Times As Many Bathrooms As Everyone Else

Here is some particularly gross gossip unearthed by the Smoking Gun that somehow met the "news" qualification at the Washington Post: according to this rider from a 2010 speaking engagement in Missouri, Newt Gingrich's lengthy demands include two bathrooms...

Single Photograph Will Keep You From Ever Thinking About Sex Again

Do you have a "pretend sex addiction"? Or, if you're lucky enough to occasionally be around people who drunkenly agree to have sex with you, do you lack interest in "real sex" because of the hot Internet trend of...

Professional President Newt Gingrich Says Obama ‘Amateurish’ On Egypt

"I think the fact that they appointed a very able diplomat Frank Wisner and within two days were publicly contradicting him is you know so amateurish," Gingrich told CNN Chief National Correspondent John King. "I was with John Bolton...

John Bolton Has an Opinion On Egypt: Time To Bomb Iran!

So what does John Bolton think about the people of Egypt rising up against their dictator? Must be time to bomb Iran, of course. "I don’t think there’s much time to act. And I think the fall of a...

John Bolton Has An Opinon About Wikileaks: Barack Obama Sucks

Have you been waiting and waiting for former UN ambassador/UN hater John Bolton to chime in with some wingnut bullshit regarding WikiLeaks? Well, the God of America heard your prayers! (American God did not, however, hear all your other...

Glourious New Hampshire Saves Children From Sinful World of Literacy

The brave parents of New Hampshire are protecting their kids from literacy by pulling their brood out of classes that require some Socialist fag-literature called Nickel and Dimed. Did you know that tax increases can never, ever, increase government...

National Review Already Picking Sarah Palin’s Cabinet

There is some sort of election thing happening today, but that's pretty boring because it's not a presidential election and it doesn't involve Sarah Palin. So today is really as good a day as any for the National Review...

Lindsey Graham Needs To Bomb Iran So Badly

Oh man, when John Bolton finds out about this he is going to jizz red, white & blue: Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina said Monday that the United States must be prepared to use military force to prevent Iran...

Arizona Sheriff Goes To New Hampshire, Hint Hint

Arizona's Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is famous among Teabaggers or something for being a bigot and following Arizona's bigot law enforcement law to the extreme, for which the feds sued him. So now, naturally, he is running for...

John Bolton Maybe Running For President of Bombing Iran

Remember when John Bolton blushed like the most flattered debutante when Tucker Carlson's bow-tie gnomes begged him to run for president? (To forget this moment would be tantamount to "forgetting to give your girlfriend something nice for 9/11.") John...

If John Bolton Was President He Could Bomb Iran ‘Whenever,’ Right?

The bow tie hobbits at the Daily Caller landed a hot interview with Neocon Mustache Ride "John Bolton" -- the premier authority on America's #1 most-pressing issue: When Do We Bomb Iran? Bolton explained to Tucker Carlson's gnome-slaves that...