John Boehner made this funny thriller movie last week, but guess what, we just saw it for the first time, so deal. It’s about how Barack Obama is the Muslim who caused 9/11 and wants more white people to die, so vote Republican next time you vote on something! (Can you imagine how excited the Republican leadership would be if a few American cities got nuked under Obama’s watch?) [YouTube]

Orange smoke monster John Boehner tells CNN this: “BOEHNER: Wolf, you have to understand, there was no deregulation of anything in the financial services industries. As a matter of fact, there was an increase in regulation.” Then! “What happened in all of this is that some people got creative in terms of how they could create new products — new products at different parts of the company — that were in the unregulated part of the company that caused this infection of our entire financial system.” Yes, and how do certain parts of the company become “unregulated?” [RealClearPolitics, Washington Monthly]

PATH TO VICTORY: So the Republicans are keeping chain-smoking grandstanding loser John Boehner as their House leader, hooray! And they’ve put some far-right wingnuts in the lesser positions. Things are looking up, if you are not Republican! [CQ Politics]

Once upon a time there was a congressman named John Boehner, and everybody made fun of him because his name looked like “boner.” And then day somebody sent one of his local offices a Mysterious Package, which was leaking an Oily Substance, and everybody panicked because of the Terrorists. But! Turns out it was just bacon in the package: the sly prankster’s symbol for pork-barrel spending, or maybe how John Boner’s “package” is always “leaking oily substances.” [WLWT Cincinnati]

Dearest Wonkette readers. Now would be an appropriate time to grab a drink and reassess the value of, you know, representative democracy as an effective form of government at all. If you’ve been watching CNN for the last couple of hours… well, we’re right there with you. Oh god CNN is now looking at Internet comments to get more opinions on the Death Of The Bailout. INTERNET COMMENTS. We want forty guns right now with which to shoot furniture, appliances, alley cats and, most importantly, our own human selves. Let’s run through a list of the comically pathetic ways in which our American political leaders are “responding” to the failed bailout vote. Hint: very few people are blaming themselves! MORE »

Oh sure it’s an old joke, mispronouncing House minority leader John Boehner’s last name (it’s really pronounced “Choire”). But still: ha ha, “penis.” Halperin YOU SCALAWAG, you totally had this in mind. [The Page]

Eleven years ago, Republican leaders got together on a conference call to discuss ethical allegations against Newt Gingrich, and were joined by some non-Republicans with a tape recorder. Eventually, Democratic Representative Jim McDermott leaked the (illegally recorded) tape to the press. Jim got sued by John “Orangey- Delicious” Boehner and lost, but really, really didn’t want to pay the fines, so the case dragged on for nine more forgettable years. Today, however, the Supreme Court declined to hear McDermott’s latest appeal, leaving him stuck with the legal judgment of $10,000 in statutory and $50,000 in punitive damages for the leak, plus Boehner’s legal costs for 9 years of appeals. Boehner presented McDermott with a bill for $880,000. Damn those D.C. lawyers are expensive. [CQ Politics]

This week, George Allen, John Boehner, Kate Obeirne and Kiefer Sutherland were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

House Democrats have stopped Minority Leader John Boehner from forcing a vote to censure Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA) for controversial comments he made during last week’s SCHIP debate. Stark, who insinuated that the U.S. sends young’uns to Iraq “to get their heads blown off for the President’s amusement,” has apologized for his comments. No word yet on whether Boehner will continue to censure poor kids for not having health insurance. [Politico]

The answer, of course, is ALL OF THEM, but what we really mean is “Which member of the Ohio delegation in the House has also ordered hookers from the DC Madam?” Larry Flynt is supposedly about to reveal this, maybe tomorrow or some other day. Meanwhile, let’s meet the candidates. MORE »

This week, Dawn Eden, Patrick Fitzgerald, Bill Emmott, John Bolton, John Boehner, and John Ashcroft were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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