john boehner

Like most years when there’s a Democrat in the White House, 2013 was a year of things getting rammed, crammed, jammed, shoved, and/or forced down our (America’s) throats. How big were the things? So big. Were they hard to swallow? Oh yes. But somehow, freedom will endure, we guess. Here is a list of 13 […]

On a scale of one to Dana Rohrabacher, Kaili thinks the answer is “Boehner.” Snipy would like to point out his Lizard People Eyes and slow blinking. We personally like the slurring of “Christians” and also the cheezy boybander smile at the end. Happy Christmas, Marco Rubio, your family seems nice. Bottoms up!

So now it’s come to this: John Boehner lives in a DC apartment that he’s renting from a lobbyist for the tanning bed industry. This raises a number of questions, such as, “Is there anything untoward going on?” and “He has to know he’s trolling us, right?” and “Wait, there’s a tanning bed industry, and […]

Pity poor Weeper of the House John Boehner. He only just got the memo that conservatives are … how shall we put this delicately? … completely bugfuck insane: House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) on Thursday held firm in his criticism of outside conservative groups after a war of words Wednesday, questioning their credibility and saying […]

Oh, dear, John Boehner, are you suggesting that Republicans should embrace gay candidates and let them come to Republican meetings and talk to them and give them big sloppy wet kisses and get all their gay cooties all over the Grand Old Party? You are? Boney, my friend, you are entering a world of pain. […]

Hey ladies. 2014 is around the corner, and that means that more GOP candidates will be mansplaining to you about how you shouldn’t be raped illegitimately and that military boys will be rapey boys so shut your mouth and make a goddam sammich. But this time around, the GOP wants to win over the Ovary-American […]

Tuesday was another great day for casually talking about how the heck to impeach the president for something something presidenting while black something. But then, isn’t every day? Of course! But Tuesday was extra special, as a who’s who of congressional derp held a hearing cleverly titled “The President’s Constitutional Duty to Faithfully Execute the […]

Oh, Speaker John Boehner, you historically lazy sack of unnaturally orange suck. Even though you are in charge of the House of Representatives (sort of; let’s face it, everyone knows the teabaggers rule your world), you still haven’t found the time to edumacate yourself on how that whole Obamacare thingy actually works: “When you look […]

Congratulations, Mr. Weeper of the House John Boehner! No, not because you finally impeached Obamacare (because that is not actually something that will happen even though you have tried it eleventeen point four times). No, not because you finally got those wacky teabaggers to shut the hell up and stop hostaging America and let you […]

A bipartisan group of House representatives just reintroduced the International Violence Against Women Act (IVAWA). Yes, you read that correctly — there are Democrats AND Republicans who have bridged the cavernous divide on an issue as basic as trying to stop violencing womyns around the world. Join us after the jump to have your heart […]

Aw, this is so sweet and Jesus-y: The Senate on Wednesday adopted an amendment to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) from Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio) that would prevent retaliation against religious organizations. Portman’s amendment — which would prevent retaliation against religious organizations that don’t hire someone because of sexual orientation or identity — passed by […]

Good news! Nevada Senator Dean Heller, a Republican, announced today that he will support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, likely giving the bill the 60 votes it needs to pass the Senate. After that, it will go to the House of Representatives, […]

Late on a stormy night, Sister Margaret Ellen Noonan wandered, brooding, along the long hallway she called the “Hall of Heroes” in her proper Republican pied-à-terre high above Manhattan. The portraits on the walls, oil paintings of dour old white men in three-piece suits, glowered at her. All the great Republicans were here: Reagan, of […]

Hey there,! What’s new? Boy, that shutdown sure was a dilly of a humdinger, wasn’t it? But now that it is over, what positive actions do you plan to put your energy and not-inconsiderable financial resources into in order to help the country recover from the gargantuan nightmare of the last three weeks? Lobbying […]