john boehner
Today’s John Boehner Update, In Which Peter King Dashes Our Dreams of Continued Fightsies
Remember yesterday? Yesterday was AWESOME. Yesterday was the day when everybody – literally, everybody ever – hated John Boehner for behaving in a cartoon-villian-level of evil fashion and not bringing the Sandy relief bill to the floor. Leading the mob, avec pitchforks, was our surprising new hero Chris Christie, who rolled up and brought it. [...]
Even House GOP Hates House GOP Today
Did you spend the new year’s holiday careening from half-truth to quarter-truth, rage to amusement, regarding the House GOP and the fiscal cliff? We did! Yr Wonkette was relieved that the whole thing went down on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, which absolved us from having to write all that much about it [...]
You Guys, John Boehner Said A Swear!
Remember just before Christmas, when we told you how everybody was dumping on poor John Boehner, for the minor crime of being a total mess? Turns out all this fiscal cliff hullaballoo may have taken a toll on Old Weepy. Late last week, see, while Boehner was in the midst of the legislative cat-herding that [...]
Everybody So Mean To John Boehner
Poor, poor, overextended John Boehner is catching hell from all sides lately, with even his friends saying “Of course you’ll still be speaker” while they give lusty glances to Paul Ryan. The latest band of haters to join the parade is the Republican Party of Virginia’s 6th congressional district, which sent a formal request to [...]
Who Will Be Elected As New House Speaker Once John Boehner Is Torn Apart And Boiled In Oil?
It seems clear that sad sot Speaker of the House John “Whiskeydick” Boehner has not had a firm grip on his “caucus” in the two years since Sarah Palin screeching about death panels sent a pack of wild tarded dogs to Congress. No matter how hard Boehner has tried to tack “crazy,” his barely leashed [...]
Your Wayback Time Machine To Last August’s House Vote On The Fiscal Cliff
Perhaps you have just watched John Boehner manage to stop himself from weeping through his press conference outlining where we go now, after yesterday’s ceremonial Shitting of the Bed. And you noticed (after of course noticing the ease with which he told fat lies like he was Mitt Romney in orangeface, again) that he mentioned [...]
Your Big Fat Wonkette Guide To The ‘Plan B’ Fiscal Cliff Nonsense Tornado
What the hell happened last night, and why does everybody think John Boehner is a big toolbox? Ok. Deep breaths. We will work our way through this together. The problem is the “fiscal cliff,” which is a thing invented by Congress to make themselves look like assholes. House Speaker John Boehner (R-The Sun) and Barack [...]
Wingnuts Have Super Great Idea For House Speakership: Why Not Try Anarchy?
Some stupid bunch of idiots has a super smart and great idea. See, they are mad at John Boehner because he kicked a few of their idiot poobahs off a bunch of important committees, mostly because they kept answering roll call votes with “Hey John Boehner, I fucked your mom last night.” But the wingnuts [...]
Courageous Nakeds Swarm Boehner
You know, there’s really nothing better than getting naked with your friends, amirite? Hanging out, feeling free, lighting some candles, putting on some Sarah McLachlan, applying body paint and glitter to each other, heading over to John Boehner’s place…OK. Maybe not that last part. Nobody wants that last part. Not even Mrs. Boehner. Is there [...]
John Boehner Caught In Bald-Faced Lie About Very Important Issue: Socks
It’s a good thing there aren’t lots and lots of important things going on, in this, our world, or this very compelling piece of news might have escaped the cycle! John Boehner made sport of poor Luke Russert, world’s greatest reporter besides Matthew Boyle, for not wearing socks! And then Luke Russert (who has an [...]
John Boehner Also Won’t Defend Michele Bachmann For Randomly Accusing Top Officials of Terrorism
As usual, all your Wonkette had to do was demand accountability in a single post and boom, there it is: accountability. It’s not such a bad gig, being the most powerful blog in the universe. (We would imagine.) Isn’t it a delight to see everyone finally condemn Michele Bachmann for smearing Hillary Clinton aide Huma [...]
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