john boehner

Having just come off his break, Jon Stewart is still catching up with some stuff that we’ve already covered, like f’rinstance Sarah Palin’s big Let’s Impeach Obama announcement from a week or so back. He handily disposes of her nutty comparison of America to “the battered wife” who finally says “No mas,” pointing out that […]

Apparently, Mr. Speaker of the House of Representatives John Q. Boehner was very ANGRY today, at the “president,” Barack Obama. Barack Obama was in Texas yesterday, meeting with Rick Perry about the border children — as he should have all along — and then gave a little presser about their talk. It was constructive! he […]

The great pageant of democracy (or before our more excitable teabagger friends write in, “Our Constitutional Republic”) lurched forward yesterday and vomited forth a whole bunch of candidates for the fall general elections! Let’s wipe ‘em off and see what they look like — just don’t get too close. The big question on everybody’s mind: […]

Friends, Romans, idiots, gather ye round and hear the tragic tale of the First Amendment and how it murdered John Boehner’s Tea Party opponent, one J.D. Winterbottom, and how he is being persecuted to the fullest extent of the law by getting fired from his job for the crime of Thought. Where is Ben Shapiro […]

Three months ago America met one Rep. Cathy McMorris-Rodgers (R-WA) when she gave one of several thousand GOP rebuttals to President Obama’s State of the Union. She acquitted herself quite nicely, sitting on a couch with a folded American flag visible nearby while mouthing pleasant-sounding gibberish mixed with terrible lies, but she was so adorable […]

Remember Eric Cantor? Republican from Virginia, Majority Leader for his caucus in the House, perpetually looks like a guy entering his ninth day of trying to poop out a dildo that some overly enthusiastic District hooker shoved so far up his rectum that it lodged against his liver? Yeah, that guy. Cantor has been angling […]

Jon Stewart gets at the very important issue of sexism in politics with “breaking news from the inside of another human being” — that is, Chelsea Clinton’s Politically Meaningful Baby, the grandchild that could make all the difference for Hillary Clinton’s possible campaign, or be completely meaningless — except to Darrell Issa, who “has already […]

Hey, 2014 midterm people? Especially those of you who are Tea Party Republicans? What is your hard-on for the dick-joke-themed ads this election season? Sure, we make dick jokes, but we are vulgar and obscene and ain’t nobody voting us into Congress, although they could and have done worse. And even we moved on from […]

Courtesy of U.S News, this important John Boehner Tears Update: The Speaker of the House shed eyewater Tuesday at an event sponsored by Taco Bell, although it had nothing to do with their Fire Sauce’s capsaicin content. Turns out the Damp One made a brief cameo at a gathering sponsored by the Taco Bell Foundation […]

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, […]

From the state that put Allen West on the political map, and sorta-kinda gave George W. Bush the White House in 2000, comes last night’s House special election. The Dems had Alex Sink, a well-respected lady who ran for governor in 2010 and had the full backing of the party machinery. The Republicans had former […]

You know what a fate worse than death would be? Paying the fry cook at your local McBurgerQueen slightly more than the shitty wage she is earning today. Weeper of the House John Boehner would rather kill himself than see hardworking Americans be able to earn a living wage. Per The Hill: Speaker John Boehner […]

We love a mystery! And this week’s political mystery (apart from the continued popularity of Sarah Palin) is a real head-scratcher: In January, someone sent House Republicans mean anonymous emails promising DEEP HURTING for any any member of the GOP caucus who voted to increase the debt ceiling. So you are probably asking yourself, “So? […]

Bad news for anyone who was looking forward to another stupid debt ceiling standoff: popular television personality and Speaker of the Whole House John Boehner says he will hold a House vote tomorrow to raise the borrowing limit of the United States, which he expects will pass only with a big assist from Democrats: House […]

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out and sucker-punched the GOP right in the nards with like a million awesome words at the […]