Here they are, in happier days: The Singing Senators barbershop quartet! Pictured from right, that’s Jim Jeffords, John Ashcroft, Larry “Wide Stance” Craig and Trent Lott, performing Judy Garland songs. They also performed a beloved selection of Barbara Streisand numbers and once opened for Rufus Wainwright Jr. Ha ha, just kidding, they weren’t actually any good so they didn’t open for anybody except the, uh, Oak Ridge Boys in Branson, Missouri. That part is apparently true.

The Singing Senators: Behind the Music [The Fed]

This week, Dawn Eden, Patrick Fitzgerald, Bill Emmott, John Bolton, John Boehner, and John Ashcroft were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

MORE »

In testimony before the Senate yesterday, former deputy Attorney General James B. Comey did the unthinkable: he made us sympathetic to John Ashcroft. Wholda thunk? MORE »

* Witness the giant cow balls of Pete Domenici, who uses the Justice Department for political mud-slinging and is happy to admit it. [WP, NYT]
* The “new” Iraq strategy - why worry? [WP]
* Barry Hussein and H Dot Clinton keep their eyes on the prize. [WP, NYT]
* Calling secretary of veterans affairs Jim Nicholson a partisan hack causes, “a calmness to come over him.” [NYT]
* Robert Gates isn’t Donald Rumsfeld, and that’s half the battle. [WP]
* John Ashcroft won’t shut his whorish mouth about the satellite radio merger. [WSJ]
* Ah, the ’70s: an age when Vice Presidential candidates with diagnosed mental illness were actually discouraged from running. [NYT]

The tipsters have gotten themselves on the “good” list and uncle Wonk’d has loads of stocking stuffers for an early Christmas. These presents might not be as good as the ones Laura Bush was seen buying, but you get what you pay for. Unwrap a jaywalking John Bolton, an over-caffeinated Katherine Harris, an anatomically correct Anderson Cooper, and an occasionally anonymous Dan Bartlett that comes with elephant sidekick, under the tree.

MORE »

It’s all cheap asses and skinflints in today’s Wonk’d with Clarence Thomas splurging on sesame chicken for his clerks, John Ashcroft trying to get to The Front Page before the free taco happy hour ends, and David Gregory hassling the hardest working independent booksellers in America. These succulent morsels plus what Mark Warner is still running for, and a GILF you’ve forgotten was still alive.

MORE »

“Each and every page is watermarked with the baby Jesus’ tears.”

God bless the Book Party Season. We haven’t paid for a drink in weeks. Even, surprisingly, at the party last night for John Ashcroft’s Never Again: How America Got Her Groove Back.

After the jump, our exclusive report, with even more exclusive pictures from our very own Intern Nick.

MORE »

We were busy buying weapons this weekend, so we missed the NYT mag’s Q&A with John “Soaring Eagle, Crouching Muslim” Ashcroft. Luckily it’s still online and we can forever enjoy exchanges like this one:

In addition to songwriting, you dabble in the visual arts. What sort of work do you do?

I make barbed-wire sculpture.

Why barbed wire?

Because there was a surplus of it on my farm.

Ashcroft also reveals that he doesn’t give a hoot if the Jews take offense over the title of his self-serving 9/11 bullshit book, “Never Again.” MORE »

• FEC decides to permit 527s to continue as is, meaning “even larger sums to be spent influencing races this year and in 2008.” [WP, NYT]
• Bush essentially had no choice but to join talks on Iran. [NYT, WP, W$J]
• Bush says he’s “troubled” by news of civilian killings in Haditha, Iraq: “If, in fact, the laws were broken, there will be punishment.” [NYT]
• Homeland Security Department cuts funding for Washington and New York while boosting support for mid-size cities. [WP, NYT]
• Sen. Hillary Clinton launches Senate campaign with broad swipes at the administration: “I believe that we need a fundamentally new direction. . . We are better than what is happening in America today.” [NYT]

MORE »

As you know, we love ourselves some Wonk’d sightings. There’s still time to submit sightings for this week’s round-up; so if you haven’t done so already, please email us (subject line: “Wonk’d” or “Sighting”).

We also adore photographs and video footage, which we’ll be using even more liberally in the weeks ahead. When you submit Wonk’d sightings accompanied by photos — e.g., a picture of E.J. Dionne and William Galston having lunch, or one of the tour bus of Kimora Lee Simmons — you bring us special joy.

So we’d like to encourage you to take great photos and send them our way. To get the ball rolling, we offer you reader-taken photos of two former “generals” — ex-Attorney General John Ashcroft, and retired Army General Tommy Franks — at recent college graduations.

Check them out, along with commentary from our secret paparazzi, after the jump.

MORE »

This week DC was packed with has-beens and also-rans, still probably looking better than everyone else. Chuck Norris enjoyed a steak, but wasn’t on a stake-out. Bo Derek has traded in the couture for the sale down the street. Madeleine Albright has a book to hawk (but she’s a dove), Ari Fleischer thinks his Blackberry has too many buttons, and Grover Norquist wants everyone to know how his name is spelled. Plus your latest installment of “Where is George Stephanopoulos This Week?,” and a raft of reality TV stars must have washed up on the banks of the Potomac. Test your memory after the jump!

The month of May has come, when every lusty heart beginneth to blossom, and to bring forth fruit! Readers, bring forth fruit in the form of sightings, then send the juicy tidbits to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of your heart’s desire!). Flourish in tipstery deeds! Gracious thanks!

MORE »