Here’s a terrible story about insanity and perversion and other things that are just SO DISTURBINGLY BIZARRE that you wonder why Jesus & God ever created humans, other than to be pets for the important dinosaurs. From AMERICAblog: “A reader contacted me last week, saying that last year, in the heat of the presidential campaign, the Mormons had posthumously baptized Barack Obama’s mother, Stanley Ann Dunham.” And the Internet confirms! WHY WOULD TAGG ROMNEY DO THIS? MORE »

• No reason to get shook, it’s just a little crime. Sounds like someone’s been watching too much of The Warriors. [America Blog]

• Er, rather it’s a “crime emergency.” Quick! Everyone watch The Warriors for survival tips. [Cut DC Taxes]
• Old people and fat asses are your best friends if you just dropped ass on the Metro. [Sarcastic and Cynical]
• 7-11: Too lazy to keep all the slurpee flavors properly frozen and too cheap to give any of their precious colored sugar water away. [DCist]
• Tucker Carlson’s new show has yet to hit its stride. [Two-Timing the Cosmos]

* Our good friends at CEI have a new video calling out “Ramblin’ Man” Al Gore for his massive use of petrochemicals. Drudge, of course, eats it up. [CEI; Drudge Report] MORE »

It’s so great to know that you tipsters are gaining in skill and guile when it comes to spotting celebs. Case and point: this photo of E.J. Dionne, blathering on about Bush’s approval rating in between slurps of Vietnamese satay pumpkin fusion soup.

Update: Several of you have identified Dionne’s lunchtime companion in this photo as former Clinton advisor William Galston, now at the Brookings Institution.

Regular Wonk’d stars George Stephanopoulos, Stephen Colbert, and Jenna Bush also make their appearances, as does Laura Bush. Of course, as in life there are always winners and losers in the game of Wonk’d. The loser of the week is John Kerry, who couldn’t win a presidential election, and now can’t even fix a traffic ticket. It’s good thing then that we’ve got Wonkette-poll-dominating Stormie Janzen — and tons more, after the jump.

This is the seat of power for the, uh, whole planet, and there are celebrities lurking everywhere. If you spot one, tell us by email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the bold face you spotted). Spot and send, spot and send — many thanks!

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