Tag: joel pollak

What Are You Going To Do, Republicans, Count The Tree Rings On Roy Moore’s Dick?

The entire GOP is saying Roy Moore should step aside IF his kid-diddling allegations are true. How do they plan to find out?

Steve Bannon Is Your President Now, Isn’t That Marvelous?! Wonkagenda For Mon., Jan. 30, 2017

Trump's Muslim ban blows up in his face, Not America hates Trump, Philly scares the GOP. Your morning news brief!

Donald Trump’s New Daddy Turned Dead Breitbart Into Most Delightful, Bigoted Sh*thole On Internet

A deep, wonky dive into how hard Breitbart and Stephen Bannon suck.

James O’Keefe Steps On Own Dick, Declares Flawless Victory Over George Soros

James O'Keefe, the master of fake scandals, has an exciting new failed investigation into what he claims are billionaire George Soros's efforts to undermine democracy. No evidence at all, but some very shocking accusations!
We thought we were the honorable ones

Shocked By Sudden Lack Of Ethics At Breitbart, Gal Reporter And Boy Idiot Resign

In surprising news Sunday night, Breitbart "News" (that still cracks us up) reporter Michelle Fields and sphincter-at-large Ben Shapiro said they are leaving the august bastion of rightwing journalism. Following the alleged assault of Fields by Donald Trump's campaign...

Breitbart Sorry Its Gal Reporter Got In Way Of Trump Campaign Manager’s Fist

It's Day Three of Holy Shit The Trump Campaign Is Assaulting And Battering Gal Breitbart Reporters Instead Of Just Regular Black Folk And Liberals, and there's so many updates to update at you! But then Donald Trump went and...

Breitbart Does Great Job Fact-Checking Obama’s SOTU, Except For All The Facts

Shortly after the president concluded his final State of the Union, Breitbart -- the internet's shrieking, shit-throwing chimpanzee colony -- decided to "fact-check" the speech. It went as badly as you'd expect. Because we really love rubbing salt in the wounds of human beings as...
Why's everybody always picking on him? He's a winner!

Dead Breitbart: Why Are All These Black People Forcing Trump Supporters To Kick Their Ass?

Hey, you know how Donald Trump's rally in Las Vegas Monday was disrupted by a number of liberal protesters, and Trump supporters went Full Brownshirt on them, yelling unpleasant things like "Kick his ass!" "Shoot him!" or "Light the...

Four Marines Murdered By ISIS, Or Maybe Just Lone Wolf With Muslimy Name, Who Knows?

Four people were murdered, and another three injured, at two military sites in Chattanooga, Tennessee, on Thursday, by a man identified by the FBI as Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez. The FBI cautioned that "it would be premature to speculate on the motives...
Same, Beaker. Same.

Wingnuts Thrilled With Iran Nuclear Deal, Have Nothing But Kind Words For Obama

On Thursday, the Prophet Obama (peace be upon him) won a great victory over the infidels. Or at least a framework for the final agreement of a great victory of the infidels. And the infidels were not pleased! Of course...
Season's beatings! (oh Drudge Report, you cards!)

Don’t Let Obama Give State Of The Union Speech, For The Constitution

As a lovely holiday gift for the president (not a Christmas gift; he doesn't get one), the geniuses at Dead Breitbart's Home For Creative Assholery have floated a doozy of an idea -- though only time will tell whether it's...
Turn that poo-face upside down, Sarah.

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Home-Cooked, Hand-Clubbed Fish Dinner

Touch of context for those who are new to this series: a Wonkette commenter named Fartknocker ponied up the cash for us to get a subscription to Sarah Palin's Internet Teevee Channel. The aim of this series is to...

Wonkette Gets Its Name In Local Paper, Ghost Breitbart Says Girl Editor Begging For It

We understand that Yr Wonkette got a mention in the Politico Web Log Publication. It's always fun to see our names in the paper, and we were kind of jazzed that the piece mentioned Rachel Maddow's little crush on...

Ghost Breitbart Notes Hypocrisy In Lack Of Dumb Political Hurricane Jokes

Guys, you will not believed this, but Joel Pollak, the genius non-email-reading editor in chief at Breitbart.com is very unhappy about the hypocrisy of the left! You see, Mr. Pollak has noticed that even though there were a number...

Ghost Breitbart’s ‘Happy Cult’ Degenerates Into Sad Mess Of Confusion And Backbiting

As we all know from the plot of virtually every big Hollywood gangster movie ever made, when there's a gang of loutish thugs and the head lout is removed, the remaining loutish thugs invariably turn on each other in...