• WELL, IF YOU SAY IT HAPPENED, THEN IT DID: The HuffPo seems to think it may have possibly seen some vague indication that perhaps maybe depending on the angle Michelle Obama did this, supposedly: “First Lady Michelle Obama, seated behind and above Wilson, seemed to mouth a drawn-out ‘damn’ at the scene unfolding before her.” [HuffPo]

Does anyone here know how to use computers? We want to create an animated .gif of Nancy Pelosi’s reaction to shouty Joe Wilson last night, but how the dickens does one do THAT? So if one of you lovely humans would like to help your Wonkette produce a very very important stock photo for years to come, please make a (nicely cropped) animated .gif of Nancy Pelosi’s MONSTROUS HEAD from :15 to :17 in this video. We’ll give you five minutes of make-out time with Intern Riley in the closet of your choice. [YouTube]

JOE WILSON, AMERICA’S MOST PROMISING NEW INTERNET MEME, HAS APOLOGIZED FOR BEING SO SHOUTY AND WEIRD: “This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the President’s remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health care bill. While I disagree with the President’s statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the President for this lack of civility.” Google has already shut this human down until further notice. [CNN]

• Obama gave some big speech about health care last night. Joe Wilson gave some small speech about dishonesty and its practitioners. [New York Times]
• As with all political acts, of any kind, anywhere in America, the big winners of last night’s speech were “Independents” and “seniors.” [Washington Post]
• Here is a round-up of the GOP’s disrespectful forms of non-violent protest: homemade posters! Joe Wilson! Scattered “ooh” sounds! [Washington Post]
• God, you know, God, ordered some Bolivian guy to hijack a jet flying from LA to Mexico City. Everyone is okay, except God, who feels a bit foolish. [AP]
• Professional sports athlete Derek Jeter hit as many baseballs with a baseball bat as fellow “New York Yankee” Lou Gehrig. This has earned him the baseball equivalent of the Super Bowl (high praise). [WSJ]
• Oh and while all this happened, Iran became nuclear-capable! [New York Times]

Here’s Republican Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina, posting a press release on his website which, unfortunately, is actually a mocking press release sent out earlier by his Democratic opponent, Rob Miller. It has been on the front page for many hours, highlighted by the following first paragraph: “Today, incumbent Congressman Joe Wilson began his election-year bus tour for the status quo. Wilson, who has proudly voted with the Bush administration over 95% of the time, is trying to convince voters that the country is on the right track and simply needs more of the same policies and ideas.” Maybe this is a new sort of double secret irony to which we are not attuned? OH SHIT, he literally just took it down. [Joe Wilson For Congress via Crack The Bell]

Whoa, hey, is that a blurry picture of the famous secret diplomat, Joe Wilson? It is! What’s he up to, these days? Well, if you believe our tipster “Sal,” Wilson can be found these days campaigning for Hillary in tiny little towns, so that his wife can remain undercover. Join us for a super special weeks-late Wonk’d with appearances by Jim Webb, Chuck Hagel, Wonder Woman, Wolf Blitzer, Donald and Mrs. Donald Rumsfeld, Tom Ridge, Rob Lowe, Andrew Sullivan, Larry Craig and the always fetching Elizabeth Kucinich … after the jump!

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Valerie Plame says she’s sorry she posed for that Vanity Fair photo. “It was more trouble than it was worth,” Plame tells CBS’s Katie Couric in a “60 Minutes” interview to air this Sunday. In her first TV interview, Wilson says her CIA boss was blindsided by the photo: “He gave me a really good chewing out. As I deserved to be.” (Nice grammar, Valtrex!). Meanwhile, arrogant ass mite husband Joe Wilson says his photos are just fine, thank you very much. MORE »

* If Nancy Pelosi can get Democrats to shut-up and get in line, the supplemental Iraq funding bill will have all the troops home by October 2008. Hmm, October. [WP]
* Scooter’s appeals process could last until “late 2008.” See what they’re doing there? [WP, NYT]
* How many Justice Department employees does it take to fire 8 US attorneys? [WP, NYT]
* John Edwards won’t allow his golden visage to benefit, “the largest mainstream cable news audience in America.” [WP]
* Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame are moving to dry New Mexico to wait for obscurity to wash over them. [NYT]
* Federal employees in Alaska forbidden to discuss “polar bears or sea ice if they are not designated to do so.” [NYT]
* Congressional ethics loophole means your alma mater could send you and a member of your choice scuba-diving in Bora Bora, no questions asked. [USAT]
* “All told, 2008 is shaping up as the worst presidential year in three decades to be” John McCain. [WSJ]

* It’s almost as if National Review guys knew what they thought before the verdict. [Think Progress]
* Sully thinks the outcome of the case is plain ol’ peachy. [Daily Dish]
* The Cheney “blood clot” is just cover to get someone in the VP slot that can run for president. Come on guys, keep up. [Blogs For Bush]
* We’ve seen Clive Owen’s movies, and you, Joe Wilson, are no Clive Owen. [C&L]
* Bob Woodward is making scratches on the wall to count the days until Scooter goes in to prison. [The Left Coaster]
* William F. Buckley called Gore Vidal a “goddamn queer” on teevee back when people still watched teevee, so STFU about that horse-faced skank. [Sweetness & Light]

* Heard on the Hill: Richard Simmons was at the Capitol “spreading joy.” … No more stache for Rep. Peter DeFazio — who will keep the flame alive now? … Congressional Record claims John McCain introduced an amendment in the House. Madness! … Barney Frank doesn’t care if the Republicans obstruct the Dems, he just wishes they weren’t so boring about it. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Local boy makes good! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Donald Rumsfeld still alive, hanging out at the Hoover Institution. John Fund got his digits! “Not for an interview, just to talk.” We did not make that quote up… Joe and Valerie Wilson are gone, forever. [Examiner]
* The Sleuth: Bush hosts coffee date for neocons… Vanessa Williams and Dick Durbin: BFF! [WP]
* Shenanigans: Ted Kennedy had yet another birthday party. Everyone was there! … Happy CPAC weekend! … John Edwards: Lying about his favorite movie? [Politico]