joe wilson
Long National Nightmare Over: Jailbird Scooter Libby’s Voting Rights Restored!
It was a dark day in America when Cheney henchman Scooter Libby got convicted and imprisoned by Barack Nobama’s tyrannical army (and its Time Machine). A dark day indeed when you criminalize “politics,” wherein “politics” is defined as “blowing the cover of a CIA person just to make some un-understandable point about … well, we [...]
Hero Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz Outs Pretty Much Entire CIA
Jason Chaffetz, how is your MENSA membership? Still in good standing? Oh, good! Now, we know you and your brethren want to make some political hay out of the Libya fiasco. Who could blame you? Even we were like (secretly, in our brainpans), sup, did Hillz drop the ball? And if hacks like us are [...]
Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s Wife Also Has Talent for Screaming Outbursts
The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is “veritable shitstorm” for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates, which led the South Carolina Supreme Court last week to issue a monstrous “F” in reading comprehension to 180 candidates who [...]
Joe Wilson ‘You Lie’ Assault Rifle Thing: Way Late Or Right On Time?
A South Carolina gun and accessories company has been selling a very special, one-of-a-kind semi-automatic rifle component inscribed with “YOU LIE,” to honor the state’s favorite son Joe Wilson and his good Southern gentlemanly manners. Yes, for just $99.95, you too can carry those immortal words of pure American bald-eagle-blood spirit on your assault rifle [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of ‘Joe Wilson Tries Out Honest Labor’ Photos
South Carolina Congressman Joe “You LIE!” Wilson is currently riding around his district in a big fancy bus, surprising local proles by showing up at their work places and pretending like he gives a fuck about what they do all day. His road trip is officially called the “Joe Means Jobs” tour, which is Wilsonian [...]
Joe Wilson Hiking Appalachian-ish Trail With Intern Babe
Ooh, an outdoor adventure for shouty South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson. If anyone deserves it, it is him. Maybe he is taking a few days to “write something,” like his state’s governor did when he went hiking. Who is this “Maryanna Lynch” though, like his wife or some such? Maybe she had a career? And [...]
The Pentagon Sewer Monster Is Watching You, And Joe Wilson Is Hired As A Male Escort
Hot date! Southern gentleman and rhetorician REP. JOE WILSON (R-SC) has been given the honor of escorting German Chancellor-Frau ANGELA MERKEL to the 20th annual Berlin Wall Ball. But will Joe be ready for the big night? Where will he find a corsage that compliments Angela’s captivating blue eyes? And can he trust the ILLEGAL [...]
Mark Sanford Cannot Talk About Joe Wilson (Or Anything??) Without Actually Talking About Mark Sanford
Mark Sanford has been thinking awhile about this whole Joe Wilson thing, which really, if you think about it, makes sense to think about in terms of Sanford’s extramarital affair. (Lows by any other name!) Here is Sanford, giving some interview in South Carolina and just owning sixth grade’s most savvy rhetorical move: “The guy [...]
Joe Wilson Is Pissed At Obama For Snubbing Fox News, Or, At What Point Does Irony Become Reckless?
Sad whine, sad whine: Some of our nation’s saddest Republicans are terribly upset that Barack Obama will not put in an excruciating bad-faith appearance on some Fox News program this Sunday. You see, Obama will be stopping by the other major networks this weekend to talk about health care on “Meet the Press,” “State of [...]
Dick Cheney Goes Soft, And Eliot Spitzer Wants To Get Hard
Heavens! The DEBT COLLECTORS are in hot pursuit of America’s prized orator, JOE WILSON! Apparently Joe purchased 30,000 “I’m With Myself” tee shirts with his credit card, because he forgot to buy his wife something nice for 9/11. But guess what? BANK OF AMERICA does not accept SCREAMING as a form of payment! (It used [...]
Steve King: Who Let The Darkie Inside To Talk About Health Care, Anyway?
The #1 asshole in Congress, Rep. Steve King of Iowa, says that Obama left Joe Wilson with no other choice than to shit out of his mouth last week, because who told Obama he could leave the back forty before sundown? “I don’t think there’s ever been a President comes to the House of Representatives [...]
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