Tag: joe wilson

Reince Priebus Celebrates Opposite Day By Blaming Obama For ‘Culture Of Hatred’

When we woke up this morning, we felt a disturbing vibe that left us with a dread akin to the thought of motorboating Chris Christie’s moobs. We soon realized that this was not the fault of the sweet, god-fearing,...

Joe Wilson Wants To Know Why Obama Cares More About Gassed Children In Syria Than Benghazi & IRS Atrocities

In a desperate bid to be remembered for something even stupider than yelling "You lie!" about a factual statement in a presidential address, Joe Wilson used his time at Wednesday's House hearings on whether to blow stuff up in...

Long National Nightmare Over: Jailbird Scooter Libby’s Voting Rights Restored!

It was a dark day in America when Cheney henchman Scooter Libby got convicted and imprisoned by Barack Nobama's tyrannical army (and its Time Machine). A dark day indeed when you criminalize "politics," wherein "politics" is defined as "blowing...

Hero Utah Congressman Jason Chaffetz Outs Pretty Much Entire CIA

Jason Chaffetz, how is your MENSA membership? Still in good standing? Oh, good! Now, we know you and your brethren want to make some political hay out of the Libya fiasco. Who could blame you? Even we were like...

Joe ‘You Lie’ Wilson’s Wife Also Has Talent for Screaming Outbursts

The weather outlook for South Carolina politics is "veritable shitstorm" for the next month or so owing to the hilarious-tragic inability of either major party to follow state election commission filing rules for candidates, which led the South Carolina...

Joe Wilson ‘You Lie’ Assault Rifle Thing: Way Late Or Right On Time?

A South Carolina gun and accessories company has been selling a very special, one-of-a-kind semi-automatic rifle component inscribed with "YOU LIE," to honor the state's favorite son Joe Wilson and his good Southern gentlemanly manners. Yes, for just $99.95,...

A Children’s Treasury Of ‘Joe Wilson Tries Out Honest Labor’ Photos

South Carolina Congressman Joe "You LIE!" Wilson is currently riding around his district in a big fancy bus, surprising local proles by showing up at their work places and pretending like he gives a fuck about what they do...

Joe Wilson Hiking Appalachian-ish Trail With Intern Babe

Ooh, an outdoor adventure for shouty South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson. If anyone deserves it, it is him. Maybe he is taking a few days to "write something," like his state's governor did when he went hiking. Who is...

RedState Right Clicks, Discovers Magical ‘View Source’ Feature

Feminists are furious at Barack Obama for pledging to eventually withdraw troops from Afghanistan, because what will become of the wildly popular Kabul production of The Vagina Monologues the Marine Corps puts on every year? The show must go...

The Pentagon Sewer Monster Is Watching You, And Joe Wilson Is Hired As A Male Escort

Hot date! Southern gentleman and rhetorician REP. JOE WILSON (R-SC) has been given the honor of escorting German Chancellor-Frau ANGELA MERKEL to the 20th annual Berlin Wall Ball. But will Joe be ready for the big night? Where will...

Joe Wilson Goes All ‘Dictionary’ On Obama

Frothy shoutmonger Joe Wilson is a man of few words -- as in, he only knows a few words in the entire English language. But he's working on it! You know, I’m really disappointed, and I actually agree with...

Mark Sanford Cannot Talk About Joe Wilson (Or Anything??) Without Actually Talking About Mark Sanford

Mark Sanford has been thinking awhile about this whole Joe Wilson thing, which really, if you think about it, makes sense to think about in terms of Sanford's extramarital affair. (Lows by any other name!) Here is Sanford, giving...

Joe Wilson Is Pissed At Obama For Snubbing Fox News, Or, At What Point Does Irony Become Reckless?

Sad whine, sad whine: Some of our nation's saddest Republicans are terribly upset that Barack Obama will not put in an excruciating bad-faith appearance on some Fox News program this Sunday. You see, Obama will be stopping by the...

Obama Is Suddenly Changing George W. Bush Missile Shield’s Big European Plans

All George W. Bush wanted was to build a missile shield in the Czech Republic or Poland but Obama—because he doesn't want the typical semester abroad experience—would rather the shield be somewhere less like, banal, like Turkey or southern...

Dick Cheney Goes Soft, And Eliot Spitzer Wants To Get Hard

Heavens! The DEBT COLLECTORS are in hot pursuit of America's prized orator, JOE WILSON! Apparently Joe purchased 30,000 "I'm With Myself" tee shirts with his credit card, because he forgot to buy his wife something nice for 9/11. But...

Steve King: Who Let The Darkie Inside To Talk About Health Care, Anyway?

The #1 asshole in Congress, Rep. Steve King of Iowa, says that Obama left Joe Wilson with no other choice than to shit out of his mouth last week, because who told Obama he could leave the back forty...