joe the plumber
Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, a creepy-looking unlicensed handyman in Toledo, was a comical example of how desperate the McCain team became in the final two weeks of the campaign. Because this unappealing idiot was videotaped making a brief untrue claim to Barack Obama, who happened to be campaigning in Ohio near this idiot’s home, John McCain [...]
Here’s jolly CNN anchor Rick Sanchez asking “Fast” Joe the Plumber a buncha questions he’s already been asked several times a day since he became the McCain campaign’s raison d’être. Talkin’ about taxes. Then, around 3:40, Sanchez abruptly lists every example of how Joe the Plumber is a lying fraud and a dick. He also [...]
JOE THE PLUMBER CRIME SPREE PROVEN TRUE: That thing we posted about pin-eyed skinhead Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher doing election and speeding crimes? The speeding part has been confirmed, by the Toledo Police [Toledo Blade]
Yup, a 1993 page from the 1999 Onion book Our Dumb Century with this article and subhed, “Nation Eagerly Awaits Ohio Man’s Profound Insights Into Current Events.” See, everyone, just make up a story — type any random crap in your comments about anything, just try it! — and American capitalism can make it happen. [...]
Could they just be competent for maybe one hour of a single day? First, we laughed as McCain called out in vain for his savior of the week, the utterly random showboating jackass “plumber” in Ohio, then we learned this Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher eventually showed up at a later rally and refused to [...]
Country music star Joe the Plumber comically missed a McCain rally earlier this morning, but this afternoon he dragged himself out of his new McMansion, put on his new faux-Armani suit, and brought his three high-class hookers (Diamondchest, Firesuck and Lightningpussy) to an afternoon rally, appearing with bloodshot eyes and chugging a bottle of Dom [...]
Ha ha John McCain’s new boyfriend is a terrible media whore! Joe the Plumber has successfully converted his 15 milliseconds of fame into a COUNTRY MUSIC RECORDING CONTRACT and a live televised shotgun wedding on November 4th to Sarah Palin’s sixth baby, “Trotsky,” on top of a melting ice floe.
NO, NOT THAT ASHLEY: But who wins the vote of Ashley the Hooker? [Crikey]
The McCain website has this fantastic new feature in which you design your own “Joe the Plumber” anger bear sign, about taxes. As the example above demonstrates, however, there is high potential for CHILDISH ABUSE with this thing, and so far we’ve submitted nine different signs that the website *promised* to e-mail to us, and [...]
Oh yes my friends, there is definitely a “JohnMcCain.com/Joe” site up and running now, and it’s a contest. How do you like that logo? It’s styled after a traditional blue collar name tag, for perhaps a set of overalls — a cute throwback to the 1950s, which was the last time America actually had blue [...]
MCCAIN STILL GAY FOR JOE THE PLUMBER: At a Walnuts rally today: “We had a good debate last night. I thought I did pretty well, but let’s have a little straight talk: the real winner last night was Joe the Plumber.” Indeed! Well at least he probably got laid last night. Beyond that? Joe must [...]
Here’s Joe the Plumber on the teevee this morning with, uh, who is that, Diane Sawyer. Good Morning America. It turns out that Joe does not make $250,000 a year, or anywhere close to that, but he really does hate the idea of a progressive tax system! Do you think he knows that it EXISTS [...]
